BRB crying 😭 Do I like hockey now?

Whenever I go to the gym, I get on the elliptical machine in front of the TV playing the Stanley Cup Playoffs. It’s good, uh, motivation 😏

Focus Features was also behind one of my favorite films ever, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Def watching this one…

Actual footage of me finding out that Spirit Yoga Studios in PB does puppy yoga.

0/0. Do not recommend 😅

My friends keep it real… a little too real sometimes 😅

I made this easy chicken apple sausage and brussels sprouts recipe I used to make all the time, except I omitted the bacon and used a homemade ranch vinaigrette since Tessemae’s still hasn’t gotten back to me about their dressing LOL.

Shout out to the man who offered me a seat in the full sauna in between workouts at the gym. At least I think it was man… I have to take my glasses off in there because they fog up and I look like an idiot 😆

Update 4/23/2024: It def was a man. The same guy offered me his seat in the sauna today, too. Chivalry ain’t dead, y’all!

Update. 4/24/2024: Another guy offered me a seat in the sauna today, because it was full as fuck and I was the only girl in there. Is that chivalrous or is my bar set really low???

I didn’t think I’d like crispy rice, because I thought it’d taste like hard, undercooked rice (which I’ve gotten the two times I’ve eaten at Tocaya Modern Mexican!).  But I had some crispy rice in Nashville of all places, and it was the best thing I ate all weekend. It’s more like toasted, cooked rice which is super yummy.

Plus, Bobby Flay always makes crispy rice no matter what the challenge is on Beat Bobby Flay:

My rice fell apart when I fried it (even though I froze it overnight!), so I made a bowl instead of individual portions. Still tasted good, though! I followed this recipe, but I added chives, chili garlic crisp, and sliced jalapeños because I’m extra ✨

I was at the gym ellipticalling my life away, and the Stanley Cup Playoffs were playing on the TV in front of me. I’ve been to maybe one Gulls game when I was a kid, and the ice skating rink I’d go to in the winter in DTLA was sponsored by the Kings, but that’s my extent of hockey knowledge.

This guy pops up on the screen, and I was like 😍 Do all hockey players look like this?! After some light googling, I found out his name is Tom Wilson, he’s #43 on the Washington Capitals, he’s married with no kids (but he has a dog), and he was suspended for six games last month for hitting another player in the face with his hockey stick, and has previously been suspended five different times before that. A guy with a beard and anger issues? Sounds like my type 😅

I did a mile on the treadmill yesterday, but spent the rest of my Saturday sweating like a whore in church for KD’s first communion (was the a/c off? why was it so hot in there? 😅) and drinking my weight in Jarritos Hard Sodas at Christine’s. I made up for it today by going extra hard at the gym. I finally broke 20 miles, even though it took me 6 days to do so. I remember when Jessie would be training for marathons, and she’d take the coaster up to Oceanside and run 20 miles back down, and I thought she was fucking crazy 😳

I can’t promise this blog won’t devolve into Nike Run Club leaderboard screenshots. Fair warning.

Christine’s cousin, Cher, was telling me she was recently at Verbatim Books (a used bookstore in North Park), and she was showing her kids this Childcraft Encyclopedia Book Set from the 80s that she used to love when she was a kid. I was like, “OMG I had those books! The Make and Do one with all the crafts was the best.” And she tells me she opens up the Make and Do book because it was her favorite one, too, and written inside was, “Marion Choa, age 11.”

It was like a scene out of Serendipity, except there was no John Cusack LOL. For those who’ve never seen Serendipity, #1 Have you been living under a rock? and #2 Read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia.

My mom must have donated the books to a local Goodwill, and they somehow made their way to a used bookstore in North Park. Serendipity, y’all! I totally believe in fate and kismet and signs and all that bullshit. At the same time, I believe that some things just aren’t meant to be…

Maybe the love of my life will buy this set of books from Verbatim out of nostalgia, and I’ll be flipping through the Make and Do book at their house one day, and I’ll see my name written in there. Only in movies, right?

I want you to notice
When I’m not around
So fuckin’ special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here

🖤

My wild Friday night consisted of emailing this dressing company to see if this vinaigrette I used to buy is discontinued LOL. I also went to the gym, took a shower, did a whole ass skin care routine, and took some melatonin gummies. Yes, I’m blogging this from bed. Yes, it’s 9pm.

Update: Through some online sleuthing, I found out that Tessemae’s filed for bankruptcy last year and was acquired by another company this year. They haven’t responded to my email yet, but I did email on a Friday night after hours, so I’ll give them a few business days 😆 Otherwise, I may have to try making my own dang ranch vinaigrette!

I get my brows threaded pretty regularly (my eyebrow lady in LA was wondering where the fuck I was after the stroke because I used to see her every 6 weeks for the past decade), and I’ve been seeing my sister’s eyebrow lady since I’ve been in SD. I’m going to a party at Christine’s house tomorrow, and her daughter’s fucking savage. She once told our friend (who’s a girl), “I like your mustache!” LOL, so I always make sure my shit is groomed when I see her 5-year-old ass.

I’ve been staying at my parents’ house, so my mom took me to her waxing lady, and I forgot how much waxing hurts more than threading 😅

I had her drop me off at the gym after so I could use their elliptical machines and the sauna. This guy got on the elliptical right next to me, even though there were a million other machines far, far away from me. IDK if he could hear my loud ass twerkout playlist through my earbuds or if he just liked my Michael Myers shirt 😆

Going to 24 Hour Fitness in East County and waxing my eyebrows? Is it 2000???

Who needs Din Tai Fung reservations??? These shrimp noodle rolls were sooo good.

I instacarted the shrimp, and they got it fresh from the butcher, so it was wrapped in paper and I didn’t open it till today. Luckily, it was already deveined like I requested, but the shell was still on, so it was an extra step of prep. Also, I’ve never worked with rice paper before, and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Handling them after they were steamed was something akin to dealing with a used condom. IYKYK 😅

I also made some cucumber salad in case our meal wasn’t Asian enough.

FYI, I hate exercising, but I hate to lose even more!

Me: (looking through my parents’ medicine cabinets) You guys got any muscle relaxers or pain relievers? Vicodin? Oxy? Tramadol? I think I went too hard yesterday. My legs hurt.
My dad: That’s normal. The soreness should go away in a day or two.
Me: I don’t have a day or two. Shi is hot on my tail. I have to beat her today.

Now I’m sitting here with Bengay slathered on my fucking stems smelling like my dad after he plays basketball LOL 😅

Astronaut In The Ocean (Remix) – Masked Wolf feat. G-Eazy & DDG

That’s why my girl never leave me
When I’m in it, she get creamy

Dance (A$$) Remix – Big Sean  feat.  Nicki Minaj

Wobbledy wobble, wo-wo-wobble, wobbin’
Ass so fat, all these bitches’ pussies is throbbin’
Bad bitches, I’m your leader, Phantom by the meter
Somebody point me to the best ass-eater

Cockiness – Rihanna

She may be the queen of hearts
But I’mma be the queen of your body parts

No one can do you
The way that I do
Boy I want you
I love it, I love it
I love it when you eat it

She heard of my deep stroke
She said, “Babe, does it hurt when I deep throat?”

The nastier the playlist, the harder I work out 😅

Jessie’s husband is probably the closest I’ll come to having an actual husband (we have the same birthday, we both hate yellow mustard, and we joke that we’re gonna marry each other after Jessie’s untimely death LOL). He always gets stuff with my name in it, and even got me a 4-pack of sours from his favorite brewery. If he wasn’t already married to one of my dearest friends 😜

I read that a routine can help you feel in control of your life, so instead of focusing on things I can’t control, I can set small goals. Like if I fall asleep without taking my makeup off or brushing my teeth, I’m usually like no bigs because I never get cavities and hardly ever get blemishes (only at the most inopportune times, like when I have a party to go to), but last night after I took a shower, I brushed my teeth, put on my cat headband and did a whole ass skincare routine, and took these new melatonin and ashwaganda supplements I instacarted because I’ve been having trouble sleeping.

Before the stroke, I would sleep at like 2, 3, 4 in the morning (on a weeknight!). After the stroke, I was sleeping more than half the day. I was also on medical leave and didn’t work for 6 months, so sleep filled up a lot of that time. I sleep a normal 8 hours now, but I’m usually in bed by 9 or 10. I’ve noticed that I’ve been staying up past midnight some nights, even though I’ve been in bed for hours. I had a restful sleep last night, but I took the gummies like at 9pm. I think I need to take them earlier, because it takes me a while to digest things. That’s why if I take an edible, I do it before an event and during the event, because it could be hours before I feel the effects 😅

I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill an hour after breakfast, lunch and dinner today. It’s the only way I’m gonna complete this Nike Run Club 60-mile challenge Shi has us on this month!

I woke up today and chose me ✊🏼

I just did 30 minutes on the treadmill 😅 Just a reminder that no matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch!

Chel’s friend (who’s our age!) passed away from a heart attack last week. Everyday, my family tells me I’m lucky to be alive still after having a stroke at 41, and I’m always like, “Am I, though?” 😅 Every time I hear a story like this though, I feel lucky…

Shi sent us a challenge to do 60 miles by end of April on the Nike Run Club App. I hate exercising, but I’m competitive as fuck. Let’s do this!

I’ve been in a funk lately, and retail therapy always helps 😆

I’ve been seeing commercials with Elizabeth Banks for No7 Future Renew Damage Reversal Skincare, and even though I have the face of a 20-year-old (but my back is 55, my knees are 67, and my left hip turns 80 next week), it’s never too early to start a skincare routine. Coupled with Sand & Sky’s Australian Pink Clay Porerefining Face Mask, 24K Gold’s Under Eye Mask, Laneige’s Lip Sleeping Mask, and my Cat Headband, I’ll be able to reverse years of skin damage. Too bad it doesn’t reverse emotional damage… Is there a cream for that???

In case the skincare doesn’t cheer me up, I also bought a new bra that makes my rack look fantastic 😜

Donna’s son has been staying at my sister’s to train at the Olympic Training Center nearby, and he had a meet in LA today, so we went up to watch him compete, have dinner with his friend who lives near me in Manhattan Beach, and stopped by my apartment to pick up my passport before my trip next month. It was raining most of the day, and we had just finished telling him about all the tickets I’ve racked up in LA, when this big ass truck hydroplaned and spun out behind us in the rain. Luckily, he didn’t hit anyone or us. We think Elijah might be our good luck charm 🤗 He placed 2nd at the meet today, just being edged out by this kid from UCSD who PR’d.

Only in LA (@ The Corner Store)

More importantly, do you carry Mango Hi-Chews here???

I can only eat pad thai now when it’s topped with a whole ass lobster tail (@ Nawa Thai Manhattan Beach)

My passport was exactly where I thought it was (even though I haven’t used it since 2020), and I picked up my mail and got a random ass check for $1600 for some Wells Fargo lawsuit settlement. I haven’t banked with Wells Fargo since I had a private loan there for art school over a decade ago, so the check was very unexpected.

I went to the disability office earlier this week and there were like literally 100 people in the waiting room and spilling out into the hallways. I was like, “I’m not waiting in this fucking line,” and told the dude at the desk that we just needed a form to report the disability income I received last year, and he was like, “Everyday, people ask me for a 1099G form to report their disability income, and I’mma tell you the same thing I told them. It’s FREE money. You don’t have to report it. The money comes from social security taxes you’ve already paid.” So I don’t have to report the disability checks I received and saved last year, and now I could buy all the banana pudding ice cream I want. Or a Tesla. I haven’t decided yet.

On the drive home from LA, I found out Donna’s kid likes the Deftones just like his auntie, and we listened to them on the whole car ride home 🖤

The first time I heard this Smiths song live was when Morissey performed it at Fuck Yeah Fest in 2015. I remember I was so high during his set, Deane looked over to me and was like, “Why are you crying?” LOL.

Now I’m streaming Coachella sets from bed in my jammies at 7 o’clock on a Friday night 👵🏻

We used to be fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

All the things I did
Just so I could call you mine
All the things you did
Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

Your favorite crime, your favorite crime
‘Cause baby, you were mine

I’ve been in such a mood.

I was like, “Do I need to reset my chakras? Is Mercury in fucking retrograde?” Because I like to blame everything but my own life choices for my absolutely sour mood 😅

You guys, Mercury is in retrograde.

If you need an abortion (whether it’s medically necessary for your health, you were raped, or you simply don’t want a baby), you’re welcome to cross over to California where abortions are safe and legal, and stay at my apartment in LA, no questions asked ✊🏼 Well, I have some questions… Like, how are you getting there, because I don’t drive 😆 The nearest Planned Parenthood is just a few miles away (I’ve been to that one and they’ve taken care of me despite their shitty Google rating!)…

I usually do my taxes as soon as I get my W2 in January. I only have one job, I don’t own a house, I’m not married, and I have no kids, so it’s fairly easy and I always get a refund. I just upload my W2 to hrblock.com, answer a few questions, and my refund usually gets direct deposited a few weeks later.

Since I had the stroke last year and received tax-free disability checks during my medical leave for six months, I waited till the eleventh hour to do my taxes, because I assumed I’d have to pay taxes on that income. It took months for my disability to get approved, so I used up all my sick time and vacation (which I was max’d out on) to get paid in the meantime. When my disability finally got approved, it was retro to when I applied in January, so I got a ton of money and it was all tax-free. I didn’t need the money, because I wasn’t spending $5,000 on doordash every month anymore LOL, so I opened a high-yield savings account and just let the money sit in there and gain interest ever since.

I never got a form with the disability income, and HR thinks I should’ve received a separate W2 for that income. I had my friend who goes into the office near my apartment check my mail, and I didn’t receive anything from the company they use. I also emailed my contact at the company, and she just forwarded my email to someone who could help.

I’m too young to know anyone else who has had a stroke or gotten short-term disability LOL, so if you know someone who has, please send them my way to give me some insight 🙏🏼

If I don’t have to pay taxes on those disability checks, I’m either gonna buy a Tesla with that money, or doordash some banana pudding ice cream from Coldstone, I haven’t decided yet…

Sidenote: You don’t want to mess with my boss ass bitch sister. I can hear her in her work meetings sometimes making her employees cry 😅

Our catalog comps were pushed a few days, so I took a nap this afternoon, and had the weirdest dream. A groomer was calling me to confirm the address to drop my dogs off at. He says my ex-boyfriend’s old address, so I call my ex like WTF? And he tells me we’re married with two dogs.

I woke up, because my sister texted me that she saw Lucille (my favorite dog) on her balcony outside.

BRB never sleeping again 😅

Ah, it’s been a year now
Think I’ve figured out how
How to think about you without it rippin’ my heart out
I know, you know, we know
You weren’t down for forever and it’s fine
I know, you know, we know
We weren’t meant for each other and it’s fine
But if the world was ending
You’d come over, right?

File under: Bumper stickers I need when I start driving again.

Welp, the solar eclipse came and went, and the world didn’t end, so I guess I’ll work on those catalog comps due tomorrow 😅

Congrats to Maneet Chauhan for winning Tournament of Champions for the second time! Her first belt was on display when we ate at her resto in Nashville, and now we have to go back there to see her second belt.

I have dreams about the chicken tandoori poutine I ate there 🤤

Where are you now?
Do you still think of me?
Or does your heart belong to someone else’s?
Love, oh, my love
I wonder sometimes, were you just a dream?
I sit in the dark
Wondering if our paths will ever cross again

I once danced to Janet Jackson’s Miss You Much off her Rhythm Nation album for my Modern Jazz class in 1989. I’m sure there’s a VHS tape of my performance floating around somewhere 😅

Not to be dramatic or anything, but I would die for this handsome boy 😍

I rarely lose my shit over babies or children in general (they just don’t give me the same feels that puppies or food do LOL), but I love this kid so much 😭 I had a full head of hair when I was born, too, so that’s why Pammie said he looks like me 😍

Christine and Pammie met baby Isaac today, and I stayed behind because I’m still sick. I instacarted Jessie her favorite strawberry rhubarb pie from Julian Pie Company and some Tillamook vanilla ice cream, and Pammie gave them my Easter goodie bags and our pasalubong from Nashville (a onesie from the farmers market that said, ‘y’all’, strawberry rhubarb jam from Lucky Ladd Farms, and merch from Justin Timberlake’s resto, The 12/30 Club) so I was there in spirit.

If you need me tomorrow between 10:03am and 12:23pm, I’ll just be out on my parents’ deck wearing this goofy ass eyewear I amazon primed just for this occasion.

I tested them out right now, and the sun looks like the moon through these lens. Science! 🤓

(via @betches)

Donna’s son, Elijah, is a champion pole vaulter and is trying to qualify for the olympics in 2028. The Olympic Training Center is near my sister’s house, so he’ll be staying at my sister’s while he trains there for the next few weeks. He’ll be staying in my room at their house while he’s there, so I came over to clean it up a bit. “Isn’t the cleaning lady coming tomorrow?” my dad asked. “Duh. That’s why I’m cleaning.” I’m the kind of person who clips my talons and pumices my feet before getting a pedicure, I’m def gonna tidy up my room and bathroom before the cleaning lady comes. What am I, an animal? 🤪 I mean, I am a little bit, but Leticia doesn’t need to know that…

Jessie and I have always joked that I’d marry her husband after her untimely death and it’s good to know we can still joke about it now that they’re with child 😅

We’re all supposed to meet baby Isaac this weekend, but I don’t wanna see Abe with another woman’s baby I’m still sick.

Dashboard Confessional at SOMA? Is it 2002???

Anybody want to experience two and a half minutes of total darkness with me???

If you thought I was gonna doordash a Cali burrito for National Burrito Day, you weren’t wrong.

Trying to explain to Shi what ‘split’ sauce is reminded me of this scene from Schitt’s Creek 🤣 If we had a cooking show, I’m sure it’d be exactly like this!

Welp, it’s not covid 🙏🏼

Instacarting a covid test and seeing what other tests I can add to my cart…

Dayquil, Nyquil, Emergen-C, Puffs Plus Lotion, Throat Coat herbal tea with slippery elm LMAO. I’m all stocked up!

I feel better already ❤️‍🩹

The height of my tissue pile directly correlates to the horrible day I’ve been having. I would’ve called out sick today, but my catalog comps are due at noon. I just finished, so gonna instacart some medicine and sleep for a million years.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

My dad took me to my dentist appointment this morning (it was just a cleaning, I haven’t had a cavity in at least 20 years), and he went to the VA while I was there and wasn’t back by the time I was done, so I walked to Coffee Bean and had a cold brew latte while I waited. This girl walked in while I was sipping my cold brew with my sunglasses on because I didn’t want anyone to talk to me LOL, and she asked them if they had “decaf expresso.” In my head, I was like, “No, but they have decaf espresso.”

An hour passed after my appointment was over, and I was super annoyed because I had to get back to work and my dad wasn’t answering his phone. My mom could’ve just driven me if he had plans. Anyway, I get a $50 uber back to the house (my dentist is by my sister’s old apartment in Carmel Mountain), and my mom tells me she doesn’t have a key to the house because my dad drove her car, so he has her keys. My dad calls my mom when he’s done at the VA, but we’re already in the uber so I just tell him to drive straight home. The VA’s in fucking La Jolla, so we get to the house before he does and have to wait outside for 10 minutes because we don’t have any keys.

Anyway, this has been my judgy, annoyed face all morning.

I did some retail therapy and bought this cat headband to cheer me up.

Also, I would hope guns aren’t allowed anywhere, not just at Nordstrom Rack 😅

Update: I’m wearing my cat headband and I’ve taken my prozac, so I’m in a much better mood now 😸

Shi knows the worst parts of me and still thinks I’m a good girl 💛

KD’s first communion is coming up, so I got her this cute prayer box, an amethyst to bring her inner peace (she loves crystals just like her auntie), and a chocolate cross (because what 42-year-old 7-year-old doesn’t like chocolate?).

My sister’s husband sent me this IG reel of Coldstone’s new flavor – Going Bananas for JELL-O Pudding – because he knows I love, love, love banana pudding. We doordashed some, and it came with a free mix-in, so we added roasted almonds.

Me: Mmm, it’s good with nuts.
Pammie: See, even you like them.
Me: I only like nuts when they’re roasted. I don’t like it raw.
Pammie: Well, there goes your social life.

My sister is the most technologically challenged person I know (right behind my dad), and one time we were up at my apartment in LA for a doctor’s appointment, and my wifi wasn’t working, and she had like a million zoom meetings to attend that day. I’m like, “Just use your phone as a hotspot.” “What’s a hotspot?” she says. I showed her how to use her phone as a hotspot, and I’m like, “Welcome to the 21st century!” LOL

I have a wireless laser color printer in my room at my sister’s, and I’m at my parents’ house right now, so I asked her to print some pictures of my parents’ bathroom for their remodel. I was surprised she was able to figure it out on her own.

Another time, Shi was helping me with this wedding invitation order and she was using a corner punch to round all the corners. She was like, “All done!” I see a sharp, unrounded corner, and I’m like, “What’s this little guy?” We were at the cafe inside Borders, and we couldn’t stop laughing, we were so loud.

I woke up with a tickle in my throat. I’ve literally only gotten one cold since the pandemic, and I’ve never gotten covid. I used to get sick all the time, but that was when I would go into the office every day, and I’d pick up everyone’s germs. I don’t know how I got sick, when I don’t go anywhere or see anyone. Maybe one of my doordashers was sick LOL. Anyway, it’s raining, so I’m just gonna stay in bed all day if you wanna come be the big spoon.