You ask for ketchup at a steakhouse once and nobody ever lets you forget it.
I ordered the bestie a tata towel as a gag for her 40th birthday. It was delivered earlier this week and has been sitting in my apartment lobby for days now. Had I known how indiscreet the packaging was, I would have picked it up sooner LOL!
The only shells we cracked this Easter!
Happiest birthday to my favorite little pitmasters (who coincidentally also love BBQ and being in their birthday suits).
My first road trip in a year, and all I got was a jar of fried apples and a sunburn from the prison yard.
It’s been tough working from home this past year, but I don’t miss my windowless office. The view from my studio is pretty uninteresting (though today I captured some rare LA rain!). When I get bored of the view, I just visit WindowSwap and pretend I’m working from somewhere else in the world… I’ve been in Georgetown watching this dog fetch a frisbee for hours now!
I didn’t think I needed to include instructions with these hot chocolate bombs, but I’ve been wrong before ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
BRB eating my feelings.
Hello, old friend (@ Grand Ole BBQ)
A year ago, I would have never thought that eating at a restaurant and spending time with friends would be such a rarity. This is the first time I’ve hung out with the bestie or been back at Grand Ole BBQ since my birthday weekend last year. It was nice to feel a sense of normalcy again, but when I saw that drunk girl dancing at the bar with no mask on, I took that as my cue to leave!
Sweets for my sweets ❤️
Won $62.50 and gained 5 pounds this super bowl sunday hbu?
Chunky Monkey is my spirit animal.
When your family asks you to photoshop trash out of their picture and you turn it into treasure.
Back in the day when we were allowed to dine inside restaurants, I had an amazing meal at Jon and Vinny’s. I loved everything we ordered, from the marinara braised meatballs to the LA woman pizza, but the real star of the show was their spicy fusilli alla vodka (what’s not to love about carbs and alcohol?). I’ve been dreaming about it ever since, so when I came across Jon and Vinny’s recipe on Bon Appétit, I knew I had to make it for dinner.
This dish was surprisingly simple to make. I mean, did I have to ask the guy at Trader Joe’s what a shallot was? Yes. And did I see my life flash before my eyes for a split second when I flambéd that vodka? Also yes. But it turned out just as delicious as I remembered it being. And what was already an amazing dish was made even better by the fact that I didn’t have to schlep over to Fairfax in LA traffic or make a reservation a month in advance to eat it!
Best birthday gift EVER.
Lady Marion Donutton of Quiksilver
(I knew I’d come to regret postmating Randy’s Donuts today.)
If you’re not binging Bridgerton, then I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. Make haste, y’all!
Drive-by shots with the birthday girl, Christine! She sent everyone home with tall boys and 40s in paper bags. I was going to take my drinks back to LA, but my dad was like, “Leave the malt liquor… I used to drink that when I lived in Oakland.” My bad, gangsta!
So good seeing my favorite girls, if only for a short, socially distant while, with half of our faces covered in Christine’s driveway. I can’t believe it’s been a year since we’ve all been together!!!
39 is staying in, binging Schitt’s Creek for the fourth time, eating your favorite pastrami sandwich and cookies from NYC, and finding joy in vacuuming all of your crumbs with the dream dyson you just got for your birthday (I’m clearly going hard this last year in my thirties).
Luckily, my neighbors drive maseratis and porsches, so my mazda hatchback and glove compartment full of hi-chews went untouched.
I literally just got back to LA, stepped out of my car and dropped my cali burrito from SD on the floor. This pretty much sums up 2020 for me.
That’s a wrap on 2020! Pammie upgraded me to the new Cricut Maker, so 90% of the gifts I gave were personalized (the other 10% was whatever I could amazon prime at the eleventh hour).
This is the first holiday I’ve spent without my crazy family, and I miss all their ugly faces. Hope everyone had a safe and merry christmas!
Pammie’s quarantine birthday was magical as hell.
Lego party, but make it covid friendly.
I think the real tragedy here is that the curfew starts hours after I’ve already taken off my bra and called it a night.
And on the 40th day of my grandma’s death, we wore masks and matching shirts.
My mom and her party tricks, ladies and gentlemen.
…or what I tell myself when I have to work on the weekend and they forget the organic goji berries on the $20 acai bowl I just postmated.
Oh, my filipino heart. Are you trying to kill me, Disney??? 😭
So nice of Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin to show up 💙
When I was in high school, my friend Jocelyn was nominated for homecoming queen. She was ASB president and one of the most popular girls in school, so all my friends thought she was a shoo-in and none of us bothered to vote. She ended up tying with another girl and having to share the crown! If just one of us had voted, Jocelyn would still be friends with us today LOL. Your vote absolutely matters, whether it’s for something as trivial as homecoming court or the next POTUS!
Please exercise your right to vote and be safe out there. A few places in my neighborhood have already boarded up their storefronts ahead of tonight’s election results…
Double, double, seafood boil and trouble 🖤
Not only did the dodgers beat my padres and go on to win the world series, they also had to disrupt my beauty sleep with all these fireworks outside my apartment.
Lots of drinks and tears these past couple of months.
My grandma was happiest when surrounded by our loud ass family, and I’m glad we were able to be there with her during her final months (with masks on, of course).
This is my most favorite video of her ever. I know she’s dancing in heaven with Grandpa Robert and finally at peace. Rest in paradise, queen 🖤
I made these cupcakes once when I was dating my bestie’s brother, and their grandpa couldn’t get enough of them. I haven’t seen him in years, but his family would always tell me he still asks about the ‘cupcake girl’ even though my ex is married to someone else now. Sorry, Quinn LOL.
Sadly, their grandpa passed away this week, so I made his favorite cupcakes for my best friend and her family in memory of him.
…or me when I found out that Taco Bell is getting rid of my beloved shredded chicken burrito (and more!) *cries in spanish*
Kicking off spooky season with some light reading…
Unsolicited fact about me: Beetlejuice is one of my favorite movies. It was one of the only VHS tapes my grandma had when I was a kid, so I’d watch it over and over again. My boss calls me ‘Morbid Marion’ and I think Lydia Deetz would be proud 🖤
Outside Lands 2011 with Pammie, Chris and Jessie was def my most favorite festival ever. So much has changed since then, and at the same time, not much has changed at all…
Since my birthday trip to see Tame Impala in Portland was canceled due to covid, Pammie bought me tickets for Outside Lands 2021, and the girls are planning on coming with to celebrate 10 years since our first music festival together (pandemic pending).
I was supposed to be in Nashville this weekend, and I’ve died a little bit inside every time a show has been canceled this year. Is it 2021 yet???
What religion is this and how do I convert???
Name a better duo than strawberries and rhubarb. I’ll wait.
Hosmer, baby! 💛
Can someone postmate me garlic fries???
It looks like we’ll be quarantining well into summer, so I’ve officially stopped working on my bikini bod and started carbo-loading for winter.
I got a tiny picnic table for the squirrels who visit my parents’ backyard, and my mom texting me pics of them eating and enjoying the view has been the highlight of my day.
This is where I’m at in quarantine, guys.
I’ve been working from home for four months now with no distractions (besides my neighbor’s car alarm that goes off, without fail, at least twice a day every time a leaf falls on it). With news this week that California is rolling back reopenings and kids won’t be returning to classrooms in the fall, this quarantine seems far from over. Hang in there, mamas!
My neighbors are douchier than yours.
Views and ‘cue on this 4th of July!
I need you to be on this level if you’re going to watch the annual hot dog eating contest with me (I’m talking to you, Pamela Jean. Look alive!).
Stoked that I
don’t have an STD don’t have to work this weekend!
Shi thinks I’m attracted to anyone with a beard, and she ain’t wrong. Also, why is this the second convo I’ve had about 90 Day Fiancé today???
This lockdown has only made my department busier than ever, and I’ve been losing my mind working 12-hour days and being cooped up in my studio for nearly two months now. I’ve been in such a mood lately, and yet, my sister postmated me coffee bean and breakfast to make my life easier, my dear friend sent me cookies from across the country, and on the drive home from grocery shopping in Long Beach today, I witnessed this pink ass sunset. I really needed these little reminders that I have a good life and this shit is just temporary. Sorry for everything I said while in quarantine! XOXO
I had a lot of random jobs in my twenties, and for a brief window in 2004, I was a barista at Starbucks. It was a second job I picked up during the holidays for extra cash, and not one I stayed at very long. That was probably the last time I made my own coffee, and definitely the last time I woke up at four in the morning on purpose! Ha.
I mostly caffeinate with canned cold brew these days, but sometimes I’ll indulge in my most favorite iced coffee ever—Blue Bottle New Orleans. At $4 a pop, it’s not something I have on my everyday shopping list (a girl’s gotta pay her rent, after all). But they sell their cold brew kit online and are offering free shipping right now, so I thought why the hell not? What else do I have going on six weeks deep into this quarantine???
This homemade cold brew turned out way better than any coffee I ever made at Starbucks, and I didn’t even have to wake up before the sun to enjoy it. Win-win.
You guys, this quarantine is really domesticating us.
Also, never have I ever texted / facetimed / zoomed so much in my goddamn life. I can’t promise that this blog won’t devolve into just screenshots of me talking to people. Fair warning.
I’m one revision away from breaking some muthafuckin’ knees! Just kidding (please don’t furlough me).
Legit traded two rolls of toilet paper for a breakfast burrito from Tacos Tu Madre.
If anyone wants to pick me up some short ribs from APL BBQ in Hollywood, I have some TP and other provisions I’m willing to barter!
Is it even Easter if I don’t use the bunny filter when we facetime today???