mayanrocks.com
Tiny Desk Concert.
Friday, March 15, 2024

Justin Timberlake – Pusher Love Girl

Hey little mama
Ain’t gotta ask me if I want to
Tell me, can I get a light?
Roll you up and let it run through my veins
‘Cause I can always see the farthest stars when I’m on you
I don’t wanna ever come down from this cloud of loving you

I’ll just be here if you need me 🫠

Disorganized.
Friday, March 15, 2024

suitcase

Me: (looking for my Original Berf shirt that fell out of my overstuffed suitcase)
Donna: Do you use packing cubes?

Do I look like I use packing cubes? Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to 😆 I am who I am, guys (and that’s disorganized as fuck).

Flare.
Friday, March 15, 2024

Donna sent me this video, and I told her my nostrils will be flaring five seconds into this 30-day plank challenge she’s convinced us to do while on vacation. I was able to last a full minute last night, partly because I was resting on my elbows, but mostly because I didn’t want to look like a little bitch! Ha.

Also, I’ve been up since 6am this morning, because my sister and Donna both work today, and Donna’s work day starts at 7:30am North Carolina time, which is 6:30am Nashville time, which is 4:30am pacific time (3:30am if we’re counting daylight savings!). She was like, “Just go back to sleep,” but I can’t sleep once everyone’s up. Plus, I’m one of those people who only need a few hours of sleep and I’m fine. Pammie was out till after midnight with her coworkers last night, and she is hurting this morning getting ready to meet these same people who are all probably still hungover.

I’m just over here bright eyed and bushy tailed about to take a shower and doordash some Biscuit Love. It’s nearby, so I was gonna walk my ass over there, but it’s raining today and the sun hasn’t even woken up yet 😅

Hot Meat.
Thursday, March 14, 2024

hattie b's

When in Nashville (@ JW Marriott)

I doordashed some hot chicken, because Pammie’s at a work event and Donna’s flight doesn’t come in till later tonight. Hot meat in a hotel room? I’ll take it…

Nashville.
Thursday, March 14, 2024

SAN → LAS

Nashville, we out here ✌🏼

My sister’s been here for work all week, and Donna is meeting us from North Carolina, so I flew solo. My family was really worried about me traveling by myself, since it’s my first time since the stroke. It’s like when I moved to LA, and my grandma wanted to come with me so she could teach me how to cook LOL. Maybe I should’ve taken her up on her offer, because she’s no longer with us and I still can only cook like five things 😅

I had a whole plan to enjoy a farmhouse breakfast sandwich from Einstein’s, but I had a different gate and had to get a stupid bagel and schmear from Peet’s instead. At least their ice machines were working this time, so I was able to get an iced latte.

the mindy project - santa fe - luggage gif the mindy project - santa fe - luggage gif
the mindy project - santa fe - luggage gif   the mindy project - santa fe - luggage gif
the mindy project - santa fe - luggage gif   the mindy project - santa fe - luggage gif

I checked my bags since I checked in so late (on my last flights, they ran out of bin space by the time the C group boarded) and because I didn’t have anyone to help me lift my carry-on into the bin LOL.

Double Stuf.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024

cedriklorenzen

Partly here for foodwithmichel’s comments, mostly here for… other reasons.

C.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024

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I’m always C-group status when I’m traveling by myself 😅 Oh, well. Now I don’t have to worry about my luggage and boarding early. I’ll just make friends at the airport bar while I wait.

Paradise.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Kolohe Kai’s gonna be at the Del Mar Fair this summer. Does anyone want to go??? I used to not like Hawaiian music, but I had such a good time in Kauai, and my paradise playlist has been on rotation ever since. Plus, my friend would always listen to Hawaiian radio when I worked in the office, and every time I’d go to her office, a Hawaiian version of Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” would be playing, and I’d be like, “Is this our song?!” 🤣

Tickets.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
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Welp, I guess none of us won 😅

Cowboy Carter.
Tuesday, March 12, 2024

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I still regret not buying those thigh high silver boots for Beyoncé’s last tour.

This fringe cape is from Nasty Gal and these boots are from Forever 21 (yes, I know I’m 42). I just googled “disco cowgirl” for this lewk 🪩🤠

Gross.
Tuesday, March 12, 2024

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Hello, old friend (@ Grossmont Center)

I went here today to get my eyebrows threaded, and Super Brows is still here, but Rosie (who used to thread my brows 20 years ago) isn’t 😅 I also used to work here with my ex’s sister Sheryll at Afterthoughts in our twenties. Our coworker pierced our cartilage one night with the piercing gun, and mine was fine, but Sheryll’s got infected. She ended up getting this huge growth that had to be surgically removed. I remember she named him “Wilbur” 🤢 Ahh, memories…

Plan.
Tuesday, March 12, 2024

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Donna is a planner, while I’m more of a “let’s keep the day open so whatever happens happens” kinda girl. She has planned our itinerary down to the minute so we can do everything we wanna do and maximize our time there. Including 7am plank challenges 😅 I tried to tell her that that’s 5am pacific time (4am with daylight savings!), but she’s really gonna make us work for that Nashville hot chicken…

planking giif

The Reason.
Monday, March 11, 2024

And the reason es tú

I was listening to Hoobastank on Spotify LOL and came across this Latin version of The Reason! I used to think the mark of a good zumba class was if they played Pitbull or Marc Anthony, but I would lose my fucking mind if they played this song 🤪

Blame.
Monday, March 11, 2024

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When in doubt, blame daylight savings…

BBQ & Corgi Butts.
Sunday, March 10, 2024

(via @grubwithgreg)

A few people sent me this reel of this new BBQ spot in OC. It looks so good, but I haven’t had BBQ since it made me sick in NYC my birthday weekend 😅 I wanted to check Peg Leg Porker off my BBQ Bucket List in Nashville next weekend, but I don’t want to ruin the trip by getting sick again…

A few people also sent me this reel of this Corgi Cafe in the Philippines. Do my friends know me or what??? Also, I need that corgi butt bread.

Rack City.
Sunday, March 10, 2024

michael myers shirt

let's watch horror movies shirt

As I was getting ready to go out today, I was like, “Michael Myers or Horror Movies?” Pammie’s like, “Are those my only options?” 😆

IDK why I’m single when I have such a great rack t-shirt collection.

Gua Sha.
Sunday, March 10, 2024

draya and jalen green

Pammie was telling me about some up and coming young NBA player who knocked up some video vixen from Basketball Wives LA twice his age who already has two kids with two different baby daddies, and her oldest son is the same age as her current boyfriend.

I googled her, and was like, “She looks puffy. She should get a lymphatic massage.” And Pammie was like, “She needs to do some gua sha.” LOL we’re haters 😆

When we were in Arizona, Pammie was doing her gua sha routine at the hotel, and I was telling her about this video I watched of Dove Cameron’s skincare routine where she does gua sha, but I was so high, I forgot why I was talking about Dove Cameron’s skincare routine halfway through my story, so I stopped and was like, “Why am I talking about Dove Cameron again?” 🤣

Phoenix TSA confiscated her rosehip oil that she does gua sha with, because they said it was over the liquid limit. They even tested my mucuna powder, because they thought I was trying to sneak some cocaine on the plane. I’m like uhhh, don’t check the rest of my luggage, that’s where the real drugs are 😅

Fund.
Sunday, March 10, 2024

fundraisers

Lately, I’ve been inundated with people asking for help for their kids’ fundraisers. Jog-a-thons? Gift wrap?? Cookie dough??? I’m about to create a gofundme so these same people can help fund my upcoming vacations for all I’ve donated 😅

Spring Forward.
Sunday, March 10, 2024

daylight savings

Joke’s on you—I’m off this Friday 😜

Extreme.
Saturday, March 9, 2024

I can’t even look at Jack Black without thinking of my friend, Jay 🤣

Extreme is playing the Ryman in Nashville next weekend when I’ll be there LOL. I’d rather see Jack Black doing covers…

Primavera Sound.
Saturday, March 9, 2024

primavera sound 2024

Deftones are playing a music festival in Spain when I’ll be there, but I’ll be 8 hours away from Barcelona that day. I don’t think I’ll be able to swing it, but I love going to concerts when I’m traveling 🖤

Afterlife.
Saturday, March 9, 2024

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Donna was a bad influence on me when we were kids, and it looks like she’ll still be a bad influence in the afterlife! Ha. If my sister and I were running late to class in high school, we’d skip first period and hang out at Donna’s apartment instead (I have never once gone to lockout. I guess this is why when I was late for work when I used to work in the office, I would text Nori, “What do you want from Coffee Bean?” 😅 What’s a few more minutes if I’m already late…). Donna dared me to jump off a cliff into the kids’ pool at the resort we were staying at a few years ago in Hawaii. She jumped first, but she’s also a foot shorter than me! I’m pretty sure my tailbone is still at the bottom of the keiki pool, you guys.

When I die, I just need someone to clear my browser history and play Young the Giant at my funeral.

Luck.
Saturday, March 9, 2024

st. patrick's day goodie bag

Who needs luck with all this charm? Just kidding (give me all the luck!).

Since I know Donna loves chocolate (so much so that she had ‘HERSHEY’ emblazoned on the back of her dance sweater in middle school, while my sister had ‘BABY LONELINESS’ LOL. I wasn’t in dance—I was still traumatized from the time I played the glow-worm in our class production of James and the Giant Peach in the second grade and had to wear a turquoise leotard in front of the whole school and pretend light was coming out of my butt), and I’m seeing her next weekend (she’s meeting us in Nashville), I made a St. Patrick’s Day goodie bag for her 💚

PAWG.
Friday, March 8, 2024

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…in case anyone else didn’t know what ‘PAWG’ stood for.

True Story.
Friday, March 8, 2024

mimosa bar

mimosa cheers

charcuterie board - salami rose

This tracks. I used to drive down from LA to SD, and every time I’d fill up at the gas station before heading down, I’d pick up a Ham and Swiss Lunchable (plus a bag of Hot Fries and an Arizona Green Tea. And if I had any cash on me, a Powerball lottery ticket). I hate pumping gas (I always wait till the fuel gauge hits “0 miles” before filling up), but I love gas station food LOL. We stopped at the gas station to fill up before going to my sister’s house from my parents’ house, and I was like, “Do we need snacks?” and she was like, “This ain’t a road trip! It’s a 10-minute drive.” 😅

Poppin’ Bottles.
Friday, March 8, 2024

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Last year, we we’re poppin’ bottles, and this year Jessie is poppin’ baby bottles. But I sent her some champagne, so she could still pop some adult bottles.

When Jessie was still looking for a surrogate, I was like, “I’ll carry your baby. You can live in the casita, and my pregnant ass will stay in the main house with your husband.” Needless to say, she went with a surrogate in Bakersfield instead 🤣

Happy Birthday, Jessie!
Friday, March 8, 2024
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Happiest birthday, bb! Also, please don’t talk to me till I’ve had my morning coffee ☕

Since they’re not bringing people around the baby till he’s had all his vaccines, we instacarted her some champagne, sent her balloons from Party City, and are gonna doordash her some lunch later. Last year, we were celebrating her 40th birthday downtown and I was throwing up in the bathroom (it was the first time I drank after the strokes). How quickly things change around here…

Only Love Can Hurt Like This.
Friday, March 8, 2024

I tell myself you don’t mean a thing
And what we got, got no hold on me
But when you’re not there, I just crumble

When I worked in the office, my office was next to my boss’ office. She would hear all the sad music I’d listen to through our shared wall and be like, “Is everything okay?” LOL. Occasionally, she’d pop in to make sure I wasn’t hanging from my mouse cord (just kidding, my mouse was wireless). Since she knew I loved depressing music, she introduced me to this song years ago, and it recently came up on my spotify 🖤

Smart.
Thursday, March 7, 2024

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My sister is the smartest person I know, but I had to explain to her what happened in Waco and who Groucho Marx was (not Richard Marx’s brother LMAO).

Chicken Skin.
Thursday, March 7, 2024
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File under: Shit I will never google.

Batteries.
Thursday, March 7, 2024

hella batteries

IDK why my dad has so many batteries. When I need one, I just take it out of my smoke detector 😅 Considering I’ve almost burned down my apartment, I should probably take some of these batteries home…

Sweater Weather.
Thursday, March 7, 2024

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Feeling under the weather on this rainy day 🌧️

Gasoline.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024
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Please don’t put gasoline on your baby’s private parts after he gets circumcised 😅

Neon Pill.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024

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OK, I can start my day now 😅

Familiar World.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024

crosses

crosses

Crosses played the Van Buren last night, so I’ve just been watching videos all morning ✌🏼

Pronouns.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024

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This is like when I first started at my job, and my boss was like, “Show it to Loren, the art director.” And I was like, “Where does she sit?” and she was like, “Loren’s a guy.” And another time, she was like, “Ask Jamie.” And I was like, “Where does she sit?” and she was like, “Jamie’s a guy, too.” And then another time, she was like, “Give it to Deane.” And I was like, “Where does he sit?” and she was like, “Deane’s a girl.” When she told me to show it to Christina, another art director, I was like, “Is Christina a man?!” 😆 God forbid I use the wrong pronoun when addressing you 😅

Free Show.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024

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I have a flight to Nashville from SD the next morning, so a concert the night before in LA isn’t ideal, but I will rally if I win ✊🏼 Christine will be my +1, partly because she’s the biggest JT fan I know (she had a JT-themed birthday party when she turned 30 LOL), but mostly because she can drive my ass to LA (my sister will be out of town for work that week).

No Ordinary Love.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024

What in the Indecent Proposal? 🫠

Effort.
Tuesday, March 5, 2024
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homer hiding bush gif

I was hoping Christine’s husband wouldn’t notice my text talking about how much effort it takes to put a bra on 😅

Risk.
Tuesday, March 5, 2024

Deftones are gonna be at Coachella this year, but as much as I love live music, I think I would hate going to that festival. I remember a group of girls from my work went the year Tame Impala headlined, and I asked how Tame Impala was when they came back, and they were like, “Who???” 🙄 People just go to this festival to be seen and wear cute outfits…

TMI.
Monday, March 4, 2024

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My friends’ husbands know entirely too much information about me 😅

Ducks.
Monday, March 4, 2024
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I promised I wouldn’t blog about the rest of our gchat, so I’m just gonna leave this here 😆

Clear.
Monday, March 4, 2024

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I ask all the important questions!

Two.
Monday, March 4, 2024

catalogs

I got assigned two catalogs this conference season.

BRB crying.

wine under desk crying gif

Right.
Monday, March 4, 2024

france abortion

OK, France is forgiven for this moment 🇫🇷 🤣

Diamond Eyes.
Monday, March 4, 2024

🖤

New to the Crew.
Sunday, March 3, 2024

baby isaac cuevas

Say hello to my new best friend 😭

I’d be this happy, too, if I was doing skin-to-skin with Jessie’s husband LOL.

Luckily, we live in a state where IVF is still protected instead of backwards-ass Alabama where the practice is threatened after a recent court ruling (and abortion is also banned!). After Jessie survived breast cancer, her surrogate got pregnant with her and Abe’s very last embryo, so Isaac is truly a miracle baby 🥹

Congrats to the new parents!

Turbo.
Sunday, March 3, 2024

cedrik lorenzen

Jesus 😳

Domestic.
Sunday, March 3, 2024

rain

This rainy weather is domesticating the fuck out of me.

chicken sotanghon

banana bread

I made some chicken soup, banana nut bread, and even walked on the treadmill while watching the Game Show Network. I don’t even know who I am right now. My mother? Yikes 😬 Someone get me this Rifle Paper Co. x Hedley & Bennett Apron from Anthro to complete the look.

Old School.
Saturday, March 2, 2024

Things I found in my old room at my parents’ house:

old shit

My Girl Scouts vest. I would always forget who was hosting the meeting every week, and would have my dad drive me to the wrong house 😅 (Was it Amanda D., Amanda E., or Amanda W.’s house?! JK, my sister’s troop was the one with all the Amandas). I don’t remember how I got any of these patches, or that chili pepper pin, and I def don’t remember being a junior aide. Is this my sister’s vest? LOL.

old shit

My P.E. shirt from high school. I think I was wearing this the last time I did the sit and reach.

old shit

Old uniforms. I had a lot of jobs before I became a graphic designer! My dad made me get a job when I was 15, and I’ve been working ever since.

old shit

My Hoobastank shirt LOL. I wish I found this before I went to their 20th anniversary show a few months ago!

old shit

A magazine from June 2000 with *NSYNC on the cover. I just posted about Justin Timberlake last month. I haven’t changed.

old shit

An old checkbook from 2005.

A bar on a weeknight and jello shot accoutrements??? I used to be fun…

notifications

Update: I posted my Hoobastank shirt to my IG stories, and Hoobastank liked and reposted it 🤩

Little Freak.
Saturday, March 2, 2024

I’m not worried about where you areOr who you go home to
I’m just thinkin’ about you

I had tickets to see Harry Styles, but they rescheduled his tour because of covid, and I opted for a refund instead. He played 15 sold-out shows in LA, and I didn’t go to a single one of them. It has been my #4 regret in life ever since (#3 is running into Milo Ventimiglia at an otherwise empty NYC subway station in 2005 and not asking him to father my children. Don’t ask me what the first two are—I’m taking them to my grave!). It’s raining today, so it’s a good time to bust out this album and ruminate over all of my life regrets.

Boarding.
Saturday, March 2, 2024

(via @tinydicebuddies)

I’ve tried snowboarding thrice now and each time I somehow did worse than the last 😅 And this was before the stroke, so my balance is way worse now. I’ll just stick to charcuterie boarding, thank yew.

Stage 5 Clinger.
Friday, March 1, 2024

ace

My parents are dogsitting this stage 5 clinger this weekend.

Common Theory.
Friday, March 1, 2024

common theory

They’re opening a Common Theory within walking distance to my sister’s house. I was wondering what they were gonna put in this space, because we saw them wheeling in commercial stainless steel tanks one day on our walk. It’s right next to David’s condo (David is this asshole dog that barks at me whenever I walk by his balcony. IDK his real name, but I call him “David” after David Bogdanov, a convicted murderer I watched a docu of on ID who fled to Ukraine after he killed someone (the dog’s pawrents had a Ukrainian flag on their balcony LOL). Anyway, now I can get my steps in before drinking my weight in beer 🍻

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Update: My sister walked by Common Theory to see if it was open and David was on his balcony wearing a pink ass collar. He might be a she! My whole life is a lie.

Steps.
Friday, March 1, 2024

the mindy project pedometer gif

I hate exercising, but I’m competitive as fuck. I once won a Survivor pool without watching a single episode and almost won a March Madness pool at my work (I had the #1 bracket up until I lost the final game) even though the boys had to explain to me what a seed was 😆 I’ve also joined and won several biggest loser challenges (the only thing I lose is pounds!). Anyway, when Chel suggested we keep ourselves accountable by tracking each other’s daily steps using the Nike Run Club App, I was wary at first. My mom and sister already follow my blood glucose monitor readings (they granted themselves access while I was sick, I would never allow such an invasion of privacy otherwise), so they get notified if it’s too high and hassle me about what I’m eating. I’m just like, this ain’t social media. Stop following me! Let me eat this Crumbl cookie in peace 😅

Squirrel Watch.
Friday, March 1, 2024

squirrel

My sister and her husband are in Vegas, so I’m at my parents’ house on squirrel watch 👀

Neon Pill.
Thursday, February 29, 2024

neon pill tour

Cage the Elephant, Young the Giant and Bakar??? Yes, please.

Thoughtful.
Wednesday, February 28, 2024

pizza

I doordashed a pizza for dinner, and I got it with no mushrooms (even though I love mushrooms), because it flares up my sister’s husband’s gout and I’m thoughtful as fuck.

I’m reminded of the time one of my ex’s and I broke up, but we still had mutual friends and he was dating someone new. We were at dinner and he was sitting across from me with his new girlfriend, and as if it wasn’t awkward enough, he proceeded to eat mushrooms off of my plate without even asking while his new girlfriend and I looked on in horror. They’re both married now (to other people!), but I still think about that mushroom moment every now and again. He wasn’t thoughtful as fuck like I am 😅

Jokes.
Wednesday, February 28, 2024
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We could never be friends if you don’t laugh at my jokes 😅

Dash.
Wednesday, February 28, 2024

(via @heyshantaq)

My friend dm’d me this today, and this is me as fuck. The effort it takes to put on a bra, walk down four flights of stairs to the garage, and then wait half an hour in the drive-thru line is well worth the additional $84.61.

Monetarily.
Wednesday, February 28, 2024

email

Our design director was checking in on presentations, and my coworker (whose name has been redacted in case he ever stumbles upon this blog) said he was sending his “monetarily” and I’ve been laughing for a million years. Is he sending money with his comps? 💸

I don’t know him like that, so I didn’t say anything snarky to him, but I forwarded it to my other coworker and was like, “Did you see this shit?!” 🤣

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