mayanrocks » work
Puzzle Shootout.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017

We had a serious puzzle competition at work today.

Unlike that one time I won the dirty diaper baby shower game by identifying 10 out of 10 melted candy bars (some without even having to smell them), my intimate relationship with candy did not give me the edge in this competition.

candy puzzle

We placed #9 out of 10 (but still #1 in your hearts!). Who needs a $2K grand prize when you get to go home with this guy???

valentine's day office

Ditch Day.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017

workmode squad

Workmode Squad (@ Universal Studios Hollywood)

VIP Experience.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017

NOTE TO SELF: Don’t get blitzed on bottomless mimosas on the bus before you ride every 3-D ride at Universal Studios.

Mannequin Challenge.
Friday, November 18, 2016

Hardly working (@ Skechers Corporate)

Magic.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016

airplane

cosmopolitan bamboo pool

Hardly working (@ The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas)

Our advertising department was in Vegas for less than 48 hours, and it took me longer than that to recover.

Tall.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016

do i like him or is he just tall

File under: Questions I ask myself on the regular

There’s this tall drink of water at my work, and every time I run into him, I’m either wearing no makeup or holding a loaf of bread.

I woke up late one Monday, rolled right out of bed and into an elevator with him inside. I’ve never looked uglier than I did that morning, and he’s in there asking me how my weekend was, and all I kept thinking was PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES. Another time, I was changing the iPads at work when I look over and see him looking at me, so I froze and dropped my screwdriver. Today, I was in the elevator with him on my way to get coffee, and I just had to be holding that freaking loaf of bread that I keep in my desk drawer. Ugh!

He doesn’t even know how cool I am.

Last Clock Out.
Thursday, October 8, 2015

dad last clock out

Happy birthday and an even happier retirement to my pops! (@ Bonita USPS)

Unfortunate circumstances kept me in town this week, but I’m glad I was able to be there on my dad’s last day at work where no fucks were given and retirement cake was served.

Key to My Heart.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015

google bbq platter

I don’t know what’s sadder—is it that part of my job as a web designer at Skechers involves creating e-blasts for the cafe inside our office building (how else would you know that tomorrow’s special is chicken tikka masala?!), or that while googling BBQ photos to use for their 4th of July special, I immediately recognized this spread from Smoke City Market???

If you’re looking for the key to my heart, a platter of smoked BBQ beef ribs will unlock all the mysteries.

Conference Season.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015

overtime

…or my least favorite time of year.

Pretty sure there’s a direct correlation between the duration of my cold and the amount of overtime I’ve been working these past few weeks. 14-hour work days is not the cure.

Namast’ay in Bed.
Friday, May 29, 2015

namast'ay in bed - california donuts - breakfast in bed

Much needed sick day after working overtime every day this week with a cold! Somebody please bring me more donuts and be the big spoon.

Day Ruined.
Friday, April 17, 2015

stuck vending machine

Sugar Crush!
Sunday, November 30, 2014

mom text

OMG, my mom and her emoticons.

My sister just accepted a job offer back home in SD, and I couldn’t be happier for her (or sadder for me!). The best part about living in LA is that it’s only an hour away from my sister’s condo in the OC and a few hours away from home. With my sister and brother-in-law moving back to SD, I won’t be able to just drop by whenever I’m feeling homesick anymore. I’ll also have to find someone else’s husband to cook me breakfast on Sunday mornings! Ha.

Congrats, Pammie!!! I miss you already ♥

Death is Coming.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014

modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif

I usually enjoy being on my back, but this is getting ridic.

I’ve been living off muscle relaxers, pain killers and salon pas for the past three weeks. The cause is still unknown, but I’m pretty sure I went too hard at the Paul McCartney show! Ha.

I’ve been stressed out at work lately, and the doctor thinks I might be carrying the stress in my back. If only he could write me a doctor’s note forbidding me to work overtime. It’s the least he can do, since he won’t prescribe me more vicodin!

Currently.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014

requiem for a dream - screaming in the bathtub gif
requiem for a dream - screaming in the bathtub gif

My 3-day weekend can’t come soon enough.

Score.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014

bathroom tv

Bathroom break (@ Skechers)

Global Sales Conference.
Sunday, June 29, 2014

work conference

My work conference started off with an inspirational speech by President Bill Clinton and ended with half naked dancers and one too many tequila shots with the VPs.

So… just another day at the office.

Creep.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014

zack

I caught Meb checking me out at work today!

zack

Oh, wait. It’s just some creep.

Who Wore It Better?
Friday, May 2, 2014

who wore it better?

This week’s edition of Who Wore It Better? (@ Skechers)

Beard Magic.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014

levi get well soon

BEARD MAGIC HEALS EVERYTHING.
This is only the best e-card anyone has ever made me.
Thanks, Zack (and Levi!) ♥

Tuesday.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014

broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif
broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif

Accurate.

EW!
Thursday, March 27, 2014

ig winner

So the cafe inside my work has an instagram account, and all the employees who follow it have a chance to win a $25 gift card every week. I was pretty excited when I won last month. I was less excited about the photo they chose of me, but my instagram is devoid of selfies, so I forgive them.

Anyway, I was talking to my coworker who runs the instagram account, and he was saying how they make a big deal at the cafe when you get your gift card. And I was like, “Yeah, they even take your picture!” And he was like, “Wait, what… They don’t do that.” And then I realized that the guy who sells me my $9 pressed juice every morning took a picture of me on his cell phone for his own personal collection!

sara jimmy fallon ew gif

I Woke Up Like This.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014

4:22 PM Deane: when do they start serving pancakes? i get here like at 8am anyway
  Zack: WHY DO YOU GET HERE AT 8AM. I’m not even awake at that point.
4:23 PM Deane: my equinox class starts at 6/6:15am errryday, son. i like waking up early. makes me feel good about myself. then i eat birthday cake pancakes and $1 french toast.
4:25 PM me: i woke up at 8:30 today
  went to sleep cute woke up cute gif - bad girls club
4:26 PM Zack: Marion you own the internet. Seriously. Its so impressive.
Free Donuts.
Friday, February 14, 2014

heart-shaped donuts

I’m eating my feelings, and they taste delicious.

Bonus.
Saturday, February 8, 2014

wednesday addams family dancing gif

…or me after my annual review this week!

A generous raise plus a bonus big enough to pay off my credit card debt? YES, PLEASE. Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy that $500 bedding set I’ve been eyeballing at Anthropologie. And sometimes that’s enough to keep me warm at night.

Holiday Party.
Saturday, December 14, 2013

company holiday party

Happy hour followed by open bar at my company holiday party last night! Someone please bring me a breakfast burrito and gatorade. I’ll be in bed under the covers.

Happy Dance.
Monday, November 25, 2013

celebrate reaction gif dancing

28 pounds lighter and $175 richer!

This was me winning second place at my work’s weight-loss challenge last Friday. It’s a good thing I didn’t win first, because you wouldn’t be able to handle those dance moves!

I lost to some corporate lawyer who donated his winnings to a children’s hospital. Way to make me feel like an asshole! Ha. I already spent my share on Young the Giant tickets!

Walker.
Thursday, October 31, 2013

zombie costume

Not gonna lie, I peed a little when I saw Lorenzo at work today.

Food Porn.
Sunday, October 13, 2013

freelance work

Partly to fund my Amazon addiction, but mostly because I hate myself, I picked up some freelance work designing eblasts for a cooking website during the holidays. I can feel my stomach eating itself looking at all this food porn right now…

Commute.
Friday, October 11, 2013

iphone traffic

Unusually heavy traffic made my commute home from work today a whopping 7 minutes. Life’s rough sometimes.

Sweet Sabotage.
Monday, September 23, 2013

cronuts

Just came back from my low fat, low carb, gluten-free lunch to this email from the cafe at work. HOW DARE YOU, SKECHERS.

Sometimes I think about how much I love cronuts, and I cry a little.

Holiday Weight.
Sunday, September 22, 2013

friends - joey ross - holiday weight friends - joey ross - holiday weight

My work is hosting its third weight loss challenge this year, and I’m joining for the third time! It ends the week before Thanksgiving… just in time to gain some holiday weight go shopping with my winnings ;) I’ve also decided to go gluten-free during the contest! Yikes. Thank yeezus for gluten-free vodka! I’m gonna need it…

Al Fresco.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013

manhattan beach pier

On gorgeous days like today, my coworker and I like to eat our lunch outside on a bench like homeless people.

Secret Shame.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013

text trash

Either they haven’t cleaned my desk out since I left my last job (almost a year ago!), or some squatter has taken up residence underneath my old desk…

GSC.
Thursday, June 27, 2013

work conference

The highlight of my work conference was the free food trucks at lunch, obvi.

Coke Habit.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013

work phone + coke

I start making bad choices around hour 13.

Drown.
Sunday, June 23, 2013

ballast point manzanita brewing co craft beer

Finally starting my weekend after working 17 hours of overtime! Super bummed I missed cicLAvia and Anthony being in town. If there’s a silver lining in this, it’s that I can drown my sorrows in the beer he left at my apartment…

UNACCEPTABLE!
Saturday, June 22, 2013

earl of lemongrab adventure time sexy lingerie

…or how I wake up my coworker when we have to work on a Saturday.

Currently.
Monday, June 17, 2013

mean girls eating lunch alone bathroom

They recently let go of all three of our web freelancers at work (a.k.a. my lunch buddies!).

One of them said that she misses hearing my laugh from across the office. She is the second person who has told me that. Today.

Sound must really travel in the advertising department! Yeah, that must be it…

Office Space.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013

ipad mini gift

Damn, it feels good to a) be a gangsta and b) have your boss give you an iPad mini!

I only had to work on a Saturday. And sell my soul. No bigs!

Monday Mornings.
Monday, April 8, 2013

not hating life

Trying to stay awake while looking through hot model pics on my new iMac for this microsite I’m designing at work.

My life is so hard sometimes.

Loss.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013

modern family - cam - these feelings would go good with pie

9:30 in the morning might seem a bit early to chalk this day up as a loss, but I’m going to do it anyway. This does not bode well for my weekly weigh-in tomorrow.

Challenge Accepted.
Thursday, January 10, 2013

weight loss challenge

kevin hart - it's about to go down

Overtime.
Monday, January 7, 2013

working overtime

After putting in 20 hours of overtime this weekend, I don’t know what’s sadder—is it that I had vending machine pop tarts for dinner, or that I know from experience that the lights automatically shut off at my work at midnight?

man jump out of window dead suicide gif

Rise & Grind.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012

instagram coffee

…and maybe have some coffee, too ;)

Thursday.
Thursday, November 1, 2012

work someecards fuck this shit friday thursday i still need these

Cool.
Thursday, September 13, 2012

bladeless dyson fan

My art director asked if I needed any supplies like pens, post-its, a bladeless Dyson fan… no bigs!

The Landlord.
Monday, September 3, 2012
new girl stranger i met on the internet new girl stranger i met on the internet

After waking up every day at an unholy hour, driving upwards of 2 hours each way, putting 550 miles on my car, and paying $46 in toll fees to commute back and forth between my sister’s place in the OC and my job in Manhattan Beach, I’ve finally moved into my new place in Redondo Beach! I couldn’t be happier that I’m only 2 streets away from my work now.

When I found this steal on Craigslist and submitted my rental application, the landlord who lives upstairs mentioned that he loves Filipino food and has never met a Filipino he didn’t like. I mean… if he only leased the bottom floor of his townhouse to me because he thinks I know how to cook Filipino food, then he’s in for 3 months of disappointment!

GPOY.
Thursday, August 30, 2012

himym robin crying under desk

Everything happened so fast with the move that I didn’t have time to think about it. I’m so much happier at my new job, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my dog. Le’sigh.

Two, Please!
Monday, August 27, 2012

office

If heaven is a 6×8 glass-enclosed cubicle, then this is it.

I’m Out!
Friday, August 24, 2012

fuck you you're cool half baked

This post has been sitting in my drafts for the past year or two (or five), and today I finally get to publish this shiznittle bam snip snap sack!

‘Sup.
Friday, August 17, 2012

the one with monica's thunder joey acting young sup

12:48 PM me: ugh i’m sooo over this fifty shades ppt
they keep making changes!
12:49 PM Jesse: sup with the wack ppt presentation sup
me: lolol

Chatting with you is the only thing I’m going to miss about work! It puts a smile on my face when you send me nick@nite texts and pictures of your 22″ hot dog, so try not to forget about me after I blow this popsicle stand!

New Position.
Sunday, August 12, 2012

will and grace and vince and nadine - Last night, I accepted a new position. Then, after my date left, I got a call about a new job. - Karen Walker

I’m officially the new Web Designer for Skechers! LA, here I come… Yikes!

Dirty.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012

annual carwash

I guess it’s time for my annual car wash.

Cleanse.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012

happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide
happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide

I was roped into participating in an office juice cleanse. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and it kind of feels like the first day of school. Minus the fact that you get to eat solid foods that day. I’m pretty sure we’re all going to hate each other by EOD.

Some days I’d rather be homeless.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012

i like this job only marginally more than i like being homeless - someecard

I went outside to grab something from my car when some creeper who works a few warehouses down tried to hit on me. He said that he has seen me around and has been meaning to introduce himself, all while staring at my chest! I hadn’t had any coffee yet, and I was not in the mood to be ogled. I told him I needed to get back to work, and he told my chest to come visit him anytime. Ugh. I truly wonder if he felt that went well.

I’m going to file this encounter under ‘reasons I need a new job,’ along with having to buy dental groupons because my work doesn’t provide basic dental insurance.

Cookie Dough Brownies.
Friday, April 27, 2012

cookie dough brownies

I baked these cookie dough brownies for my boss’ baby shower at work today. I don’t plan on eating any of them, but I’m sure I gained 3 pounds just thinking about it.

Also, I’m skipping the gym tonight. This has nothing and everything to do with brownies, but I mostly just wanted to get that off my chest.

Unacceptable.
Friday, April 13, 2012

someecard publicly unacceptable work

…although it’s questionable how publicly acceptable I look when I’m not at home!

Apparently, while I’m at work gchatting with my friends (which is frequently—unless my boss is reading this, in which case it’s occasionally and only on nights and weekends), they’re at home wearing mascara while I’m out in public without a stitch of makeup on.

God forbid I run into the love of my life at Starbucks while wearing my yoga pants that, if we’re being honest, have never been worn to yoga.

Titanic.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012

thaitanic

2:28 PM Jenni: we need someone to reenact the titanic pose for our facebook contest but no one wants to!
  why dont you and jesse do it? :)
2:30 PM me: absolutely not
Regret.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012

phils bbq office lunch

I instantly regret wearing jeans instead of leggings to work today. How can I stuff my face with Phil’s BBQ when my clothes are so binding?

Wake up, slut.
Monday, March 26, 2012

happy endings - wake up slut

Is it 5 o’clock yet?

Friday.
Friday, March 23, 2012

zebra running man animated gif

3:14 PM Jesse: this friday is lasting foreverrrr
3:15 PM me: i’m just gonna watch this zebra doing the running man for the rest of the day

Oh, sweet jesus… there’s a video.

The Big Spill.
Monday, March 19, 2012

water broke

4:42 PM me: what happened by the water cooler?
  it looks like somebody’s water broke over there
4:43 PM Jesse: c’mon man!!!

Sometimes I feel bad for Jesse because he’s one of the only dudes in the office… but then I remember that he gets to work with me, and I don’t feel bad for him anymore! Ha ;)

Coworkers.
Thursday, March 8, 2012

let's go shit on coworkers in a more informal setting - someecard

Or… Belle, Jesse and me at happy hour last night.

4:06 PM Jesse: i wonder what they were saying about her
  me: idk dude, prob talking madddd shit
4:07 PM Jesse: obvi nothing as clever or funny as what we say
  me: well, obvi!
Wild.
Saturday, February 4, 2012

macbook pro and domo sushi

Another Saturday night in working on my design portfolio and eating enough takeout from Domo Sushi to feed a small village.

My Saturday nights have been pretty wild lately.

Moving forward.
Sunday, January 29, 2012

it's not who you are that holds you back. it's who you think you're not

Lucky.
Monday, January 23, 2012

chinese new year red envelope

I picked the luckiest red envelope at work today! In other news, I’ve forgiven the white elephant gods for my booby prize.

Oh, cruel world.
Thursday, December 22, 2011

anthropologie birthday discount

Not only did I receive a reminder from Anthropologie that I’m turning thirty next month, but I also got stuck with a “family” frame (for the husband and kids I don’t have) at the white elephant gift exchange at my office today.

If only I had picked the booze that Jesse brought so I could drown my sorrows.

3:18 PM Jesse: so im going to the home depot parking lot in 15 minutes to buy nye tickets from dude off craigslist
  me: i hope you have your gat strapped
3:21 PM Jesse: if im not back in 30 minutes, call the police cuz ive likely been stabbed and robbed
  me: can i have your white elephant gift if you don’t come back?
3:22 PM Jesse: of course
All the livelong day.
Thursday, December 22, 2011

sony earbuds christmas gift

I’m pretty sure this is Jesse’s way of saying that he no longer appreciates hearing me blast Young the Giant in my shitty earbuds all the livelong day.

Merry Christmas to us both!

Rampage.
Friday, December 9, 2011

workplace rampage somee card

My co-worker Jesse just sent me this right now. Apparently, he couldn’t help but notice that my soul died a little more than usual at work today.

Parched.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011

dead plant

I think it’s safe to assume that no one watered my plant while I was out of the office.

(It probably didn’t help that I never watered it while I was here, either.)

Teach.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011

angela viens fb post

Not only do I teach my interns how to polish a turd in photoshop, but I also encourage them to forego their grad school scholarships and follow their dreams.

Somewhere, right now, Angela’s grandma is giving me the stink eye.

Feelings.
Thursday, November 3, 2011

bridesmaids - are you fucking kidding me?

I find that my feelings toward work this week are best expressed through animated gifs. In addition, I really picked the most inopportune time to lay off the booze.

Worst. Day. Ever.
Monday, October 31, 2011

philip rivers - worst day ever - chargers chiefs

No lunch break at work, an hour of unpaid overtime, and a Chargers loss. Is my pet’s head gonna fall off next???

You said it, Rivers…

Happy birthday, Jesse!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011

post it prank

Happy birthday to my BFF at work! I didn’t come in an hour early to post-it bomb just anyone’s desk ;) My appreciation for you runs deeper than your secret love for Hootie and the Blowfish. And I think we both know just how deep that is. Ha!

Chat.
Friday, October 14, 2011

gchats

There’s an indirect correlation between the amount of work I get done and the number of gchats I have going at any given time. Today is Friday so… you do the math.

Something more.
Thursday, October 13, 2011

there must be something more

Survey says.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011

aiga survey of design salaries

4:51 PM Christian: AIGA Survey of Design Salaries
4:52 PM me: i have this bookmarked at home
  i look at it every time i need a good cry
4:53 PM Christian: lol
Double Dipped.
Saturday, October 8, 2011

i'm double dipped in three shades of fuck - weeds

This was me after the recent layoffs at work these past few weeks.

Jesse said it was so quiet in the office yesterday that you could hear a mouse fart. My boss let go of half of our marketing team (including the two interns I wasted six months of my life training), and I’ve been given all of their marketing responsibilities. If I have to google how to do one more fucking Excel formula, I might have to cut a bitch. And since no one else is left, it might have to be Jesse. Or that farting mouse.

Heat wave.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011

odometer

2:09 PM Jesse: what the hell is this weather
  me: someone turned the a/c off again!
2:10 PM Jesse: heads will roll
  me: that shit should always be on
  Jesse: seriously
  beezies can always put on a jacket
2:11 PM we can’t strip down
  not w/o being paid anyways

Shit is about to get real up in here. I’m either going to cut a bitch or take my pants off.

Untouched & Unused.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011

jesse jt's

Yesterday, I brought my lunch and gym clothes to work.

My untouched ground turkey is still sitting in the fridge because Mary and I had 25¢ wings at JT’s instead, and my unused gym clothes are still neatly folded in the trunk of my car because Christian wanted to go to happy hour.

My work’s proximity to the bar is clearly foiling my plans to eat better and work out.

Match.
Monday, July 18, 2011

Match.com coupon

Should I consider it a warning sign that my manager sent me this coupon? I still haven’t decided whether I’m offended or secretly grateful! Ha. In her defense, she met her boyfriend on Match.com.

As much as I hate having to charm my way into free drinks at bars, I just can’t bring myself to meet a guy in a place where 15% off coupons are accepted.

Extended Happy Hour.
Saturday, July 9, 2011

i'm glad you're not dead in a ditch somewhere

craziness and amazingness

I went to work yesterday morning, had happy hour (and a $200 tab according to my bank account!) at JT’s with my coworkers afterward, never made it home or to The Casbah as planned with Jessie last night, and woke up this morning in my coworker’s apartment.

Contrary to the last time I went out with all my work friends (AKA my manager’s drunken birthday disaster of 2008), I’m pretty sure we’ll all still be speaking to each other on Monday! Ha.

Chanandler Bong.
Thursday, July 7, 2011

paul walker running scared

9:06 AM Jesse: that rape van has been parked outside for like two weeks
  me: is there someone inside who needs our help?
  like in running scared… wait you’ve seen that right
9:07 AM Jesse: mmm i dont remember that part
  me: were you distracted by paul walker’s piercing blue eyes?
  i’m sure that was it
  Jesse: you know i must have been
  speaking of which
9:08 AM i rewatched casino royale and quantum of solace with daniel craig
  dude his eyes are like the color of windex
  me: omg there’s this movie i want to see
  with the transponder and clive owen
9:09 AM Jesse: you mean the transporter? jason statham?
  me: wait wait wait
  are you talking about daniel craig’s eyes right now lolol
  you know i was gonna say transporter, and then i was like no, it’s transponder… is that even a word

Yes, I got Jason Statham confused with Chandler Bing. And yes, this pretty much sums up what the rest of my day at work looked like.

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