Tuesday, February 14, 2017
We had a serious puzzle competition at work today.
Unlike that one time I won the dirty diaper baby shower game by identifying 10 out of 10 melted candy bars (some without even having to smell them), my intimate relationship with candy did not give me the edge in this competition.
We placed #9 out of 10 (but still #1 in your hearts!). Who needs a $2K grand prize when you get to go home with this guy???
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
NOTE TO SELF: Don’t get blitzed on bottomless mimosas on the bus before you ride every 3-D ride at Universal Studios.
Friday, November 18, 2016
Hardly working (@ Skechers Corporate)
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Hardly working (@ The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas)
Our advertising department was in Vegas for less than 48 hours, and it took me longer than that to recover.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
File under: Questions I ask myself on the regular
There’s this tall drink of water at my work, and every time I run into him, I’m either wearing no makeup or holding a loaf of bread.
I woke up late one Monday, rolled right out of bed and into an elevator with him inside. I’ve never looked uglier than I did that morning, and he’s in there asking me how my weekend was, and all I kept thinking was PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES. Another time, I was changing the iPads at work when I look over and see him looking at me, so I froze and dropped my screwdriver. Today, I was in the elevator with him on my way to get coffee, and I just had to be holding that freaking loaf of bread that I keep in my desk drawer. Ugh!
He doesn’t even know how cool I am.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Happy birthday and an even happier retirement to my pops! (@ Bonita USPS)
Unfortunate circumstances kept me in town this week, but I’m glad I was able to be there on my dad’s last day at work where no fucks were given and retirement cake was served.
I don’t know what’s sadder—is it that part of my job as a web designer at Skechers involves creating e-blasts for the cafe inside our office building (how else would you know that tomorrow’s special is chicken tikka masala?!), or that while googling BBQ photos to use for their 4th of July special, I immediately recognized this spread from Smoke City Market???
If you’re looking for the key to my heart, a platter of smoked BBQ beef ribs will unlock all the mysteries.
…or my least favorite time of year.
Pretty sure there’s a direct correlation between the duration of my cold and the amount of overtime I’ve been working these past few weeks. 14-hour work days is not the cure.
Much needed sick day after working overtime every day this week with a cold! Somebody please bring me more donuts and be the big spoon.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
OMG, my mom and her emoticons.
My sister just accepted a job offer back home in SD, and I couldn’t be happier for her (or sadder for me!). The best part about living in LA is that it’s only an hour away from my sister’s condo in the OC and a few hours away from home. With my sister and brother-in-law moving back to SD, I won’t be able to just drop by whenever I’m feeling homesick anymore. I’ll also have to find someone else’s husband to cook me breakfast on Sunday mornings! Ha.
Congrats, Pammie!!! I miss you already ♥
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
I usually enjoy being on my back, but this is getting ridic.
I’ve been living off muscle relaxers, pain killers and salon pas for the past three weeks. The cause is still unknown, but I’m pretty sure I went too hard at the Paul McCartney show! Ha.
I’ve been stressed out at work lately, and the doctor thinks I might be carrying the stress in my back. If only he could write me a doctor’s note forbidding me to work overtime. It’s the least he can do, since he won’t prescribe me more vicodin!
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
My 3-day weekend can’t come soon enough.
Bathroom break (@ Skechers)
My work conference started off with an inspirational speech by President Bill Clinton and ended with half naked dancers and one too many tequila shots with the VPs.
So… just another day at the office.
I caught Meb checking me out at work today!
Oh, wait. It’s just some creep.
This week’s edition of Who Wore It Better? (@ Skechers)
BEARD MAGIC HEALS EVERYTHING.
This is only the best e-card anyone has ever made me.
Thanks, Zack (and Levi!) ♥
So the cafe inside my work has an instagram account, and all the employees who follow it have a chance to win a $25 gift card every week. I was pretty excited when I won last month. I was less excited about the photo they chose of me, but my instagram is devoid of selfies, so I forgive them.
Anyway, I was talking to my coworker who runs the instagram account, and he was saying how they make a big deal at the cafe when you get your gift card. And I was like, “Yeah, they even take your picture!” And he was like, “Wait, what… They don’t do that.” And then I realized that the guy who sells me my $9 pressed juice every morning took a picture of me on his cell phone for his own personal collection!
||Deane: when do they start serving pancakes? i get here like at 8am anyway
||Zack: WHY DO YOU GET HERE AT 8AM. I’m not even awake at that point.
||Deane: my equinox class starts at 6/6:15am errryday, son. i like waking up early. makes me feel good about myself. then i eat birthday cake pancakes and $1 french toast.
||me: i woke up at 8:30 today
||Zack: Marion you own the internet. Seriously. Its so impressive.
Friday, February 14, 2014
I’m eating my feelings, and they taste delicious.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
…or me after my annual review this week!
A generous raise plus a bonus big enough to pay off my credit card debt? YES, PLEASE. Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy that $500 bedding set I’ve been eyeballing at Anthropologie. And sometimes that’s enough to keep me warm at night.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Happy hour followed by open bar at my company holiday party last night! Someone please bring me a breakfast burrito and gatorade. I’ll be in bed under the covers.
Monday, November 25, 2013
28 pounds lighter and $175 richer!
This was me winning second place at my work’s weight-loss challenge last Friday. It’s a good thing I didn’t win first, because you wouldn’t be able to handle those dance moves!
I lost to some corporate lawyer who donated his winnings to a children’s hospital. Way to make me feel like an asshole! Ha. I already spent my share on Young the Giant tickets!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Not gonna lie, I peed a little when I saw Lorenzo at work today.
Partly to fund my Amazon addiction, but mostly because I hate myself, I picked up some freelance work designing eblasts for a cooking website during the holidays. I can feel my stomach eating itself looking at all this food porn right now…
Unusually heavy traffic made my commute home from work today a whopping 7 minutes. Life’s rough sometimes.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Just came back from my low fat, low carb, gluten-free lunch to this email from the cafe at work. HOW DARE YOU, SKECHERS.
Sometimes I think about how much I love cronuts, and I cry a little.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
My work is hosting its third weight loss challenge this year, and I’m joining for the third time! It ends the week before Thanksgiving… just in time to
gain some holiday weight go shopping with my winnings ;) I’ve also decided to go gluten-free during the contest! Yikes. Thank yeezus for gluten-free vodka! I’m gonna need it…
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
On gorgeous days like today, my coworker and I like to eat our lunch outside on a bench like homeless people.
Either they haven’t cleaned my desk out since I left my last job (almost a year ago!), or some squatter has taken up residence underneath my old desk…
The highlight of my work conference was the free food trucks at lunch, obvi.
I start making bad choices around hour 13.
Finally starting my weekend after working 17 hours of overtime! Super bummed I missed cicLAvia and Anthony being in town. If there’s a silver lining in this, it’s that I can drown my sorrows in the beer he left at my apartment…
…or how I wake up my coworker when we have to work on a Saturday.
They recently let go of all three of our web freelancers at work (a.k.a. my lunch buddies!).
One of them said that she misses hearing my laugh from across the office. She is the second person who has told me that. Today.
Sound must really travel in the advertising department! Yeah, that must be it…
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Damn, it feels good to a) be a gangsta and b) have your boss give you an iPad mini!
I only had to work on a Saturday. And sell my soul. No bigs!
Trying to stay awake while looking through hot model pics on my new iMac for this microsite I’m designing at work.
My life is so hard sometimes.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
9:30 in the morning might seem a bit early to chalk this day up as a loss, but I’m going to do it anyway. This does not bode well for my weekly weigh-in tomorrow.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
After putting in 20 hours of overtime this weekend, I don’t know what’s sadder—is it that I had vending machine pop tarts for dinner, or that I know from experience that the lights automatically shut off at my work at midnight?
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
…and maybe have some coffee, too ;)
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
My art director asked if I needed any supplies like pens, post-its, a bladeless Dyson fan… no bigs!
Monday, September 3, 2012
After waking up every day at an unholy hour, driving upwards of 2 hours each way, putting 550 miles on my car, and paying $46 in toll fees to commute back and forth between my sister’s place in the OC and my job in Manhattan Beach, I’ve finally moved into my new place in Redondo Beach! I couldn’t be happier that I’m only 2 streets away from my work now.
When I found this steal on Craigslist and submitted my rental application, the landlord who lives upstairs mentioned that he loves Filipino food and has never met a Filipino he didn’t like. I mean… if he only leased the bottom floor of his townhouse to me because he thinks I know how to cook Filipino food, then he’s in for 3 months of disappointment!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Everything happened so fast with the move that I didn’t have time to think about it. I’m so much happier at my new job, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my dog. Le’sigh.
If heaven is a 6×8 glass-enclosed cubicle, then this is it.
This post has been sitting in my drafts for the past year or two (or five), and today I finally get to publish this shiznittle bam snip snap sack!
||me: ugh i’m sooo over this fifty shades ppt
||they keep making changes!
||Jesse: sup with the wack ppt presentation sup
Chatting with you is the only thing I’m going to miss about work! It puts a smile on my face when you send me nick@nite texts and pictures of your 22″ hot dog, so try not to forget about me after I blow this popsicle stand!
I’m officially the new Web Designer for Skechers! LA, here I come… Yikes!
I guess it’s time for my annual car wash.
I was roped into participating in an office juice cleanse. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and it kind of feels like the first day of school. Minus the fact that you get to eat solid foods that day. I’m pretty sure we’re all going to hate each other by EOD.
I went outside to grab something from my car when some creeper who works a few warehouses down tried to hit on me. He said that he has seen me around and has been meaning to introduce himself, all while staring at my chest! I hadn’t had any coffee yet, and I was not in the mood to be ogled. I told him I needed to get back to work, and he told my chest to come visit him anytime. Ugh. I truly wonder if he felt that went well.
I’m going to file this encounter under ‘reasons I need a new job,’ along with having to buy dental groupons because my work doesn’t provide basic dental insurance.
I baked these cookie dough brownies for my boss’ baby shower at work today. I don’t plan on eating any of them, but I’m sure I gained 3 pounds just thinking about it.
Also, I’m skipping the gym tonight. This has nothing and everything to do with brownies, but I mostly just wanted to get that off my chest.
…although it’s questionable how publicly acceptable I look when I’m not at home!
Apparently, while I’m at work gchatting with my friends (which is frequently—unless my boss is reading this, in which case it’s occasionally and only on nights and weekends), they’re at home wearing mascara while I’m out in public without a stitch of makeup on.
God forbid I run into the love of my life at Starbucks while wearing my yoga pants that, if we’re being honest, have never been worn to yoga.
||Jenni: we need someone to reenact the titanic pose for our facebook contest but no one wants to!
|| why dont you and jesse do it? :)
||me: absolutely not
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I instantly regret wearing jeans instead of leggings to work today. How can I stuff my face with Phil’s BBQ when my clothes are so binding?
Is it 5 o’clock yet?
||Jesse: this friday is lasting foreverrrr
||me: i’m just gonna watch this zebra doing the running man for the rest of the day
Oh, sweet jesus… there’s a video.
||me: what happened by the water cooler?
||it looks like somebody’s water broke over there
||Jesse: c’mon man!!!
Sometimes I feel bad for Jesse because he’s one of the only dudes in the office… but then I remember that he gets to work with me, and I don’t feel bad for him anymore! Ha ;)
Or… Belle, Jesse and me at happy hour last night.
||Jesse: i wonder what they were saying about her
||me: idk dude, prob talking madddd shit
||Jesse: obvi nothing as clever or funny as what we say
||me: well, obvi!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Another Saturday night in working on my design portfolio and eating enough takeout from Domo Sushi to feed a small village.
My Saturday nights have been pretty wild lately.
I picked the luckiest red envelope at work today! In other news, I’ve forgiven the white elephant gods for my booby prize.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Not only did I receive a reminder from Anthropologie that I’m turning thirty next month, but I also got stuck with a “family” frame (for the husband and kids I don’t have) at the white elephant gift exchange at my office today.
If only I had picked the booze that Jesse brought so I could drown my sorrows.
||Jesse: so im going to the home depot parking lot in 15 minutes to buy nye tickets from dude off craigslist
||me: i hope you have your gat strapped
||Jesse: if im not back in 30 minutes, call the police cuz ive likely been stabbed and robbed
||me: can i have your white elephant gift if you don’t come back?
||Jesse: of course
Thursday, December 22, 2011
I’m pretty sure this is Jesse’s way of saying that he no longer appreciates hearing me blast Young the Giant in my shitty earbuds all the livelong day.
Merry Christmas to us both!
My co-worker Jesse just sent me this right now. Apparently, he couldn’t help but notice that my soul died a little more than usual at work today.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
I think it’s safe to assume that no one watered my plant while I was out of the office.
(It probably didn’t help that I never watered it while I was here, either.)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Not only do I teach my interns how to polish a turd in photoshop, but I also encourage them to forego their grad school scholarships and follow their dreams.
Somewhere, right now, Angela’s grandma is giving me the stink eye.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
I find that my feelings toward work this week are best expressed through animated gifs. In addition, I really picked the most inopportune time to lay off the booze.
No lunch break at work, an hour of unpaid overtime, and a Chargers loss. Is my pet’s head gonna fall off next???
You said it, Rivers…
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Happy birthday to my BFF at work! I didn’t come in an hour early to post-it bomb just anyone’s desk ;) My appreciation for you runs deeper than your secret love for Hootie and the Blowfish. And I think we both know just how deep that is. Ha!
There’s an indirect correlation between the amount of work I get done and the number of gchats I have going at any given time. Today is Friday so… you do the math.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
||Christian: AIGA Survey of Design Salaries
||me: i have this bookmarked at home
||i look at it every time i need a good cry
Saturday, October 8, 2011
This was me after the recent layoffs at work these past few weeks.
Jesse said it was so quiet in the office yesterday that you could hear a mouse fart. My boss let go of half of our marketing team (including the two interns I wasted six months of my life training), and I’ve been given all of their marketing responsibilities. If I have to google how to do one more fucking Excel formula, I might have to cut a bitch. And since no one else is left, it might have to be Jesse. Or that farting mouse.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
||Jesse: what the hell is this weather
||me: someone turned the a/c off again!
||Jesse: heads will roll
||me: that shit should always be on
||beezies can always put on a jacket
||we can’t strip down
||not w/o being paid anyways
Shit is about to get real up in here. I’m either going to cut a bitch or take my pants off.
Yesterday, I brought my lunch and gym clothes to work.
My untouched ground turkey is still sitting in the fridge because Mary and I had 25¢ wings at JT’s instead, and my unused gym clothes are still neatly folded in the trunk of my car because Christian wanted to go to happy hour.
My work’s proximity to the bar is clearly foiling my plans to eat better and work out.
Should I consider it a warning sign that my manager sent me this coupon? I still haven’t decided whether I’m offended or secretly grateful! Ha. In her defense, she met her boyfriend on Match.com.
As much as I hate having to charm my way into free drinks at bars, I just can’t bring myself to meet a guy in a place where 15% off coupons are accepted.
I went to work yesterday morning, had happy hour (and a $200 tab according to my bank account!) at JT’s with my coworkers afterward, never made it home or to The Casbah as planned with Jessie last night, and woke up this morning in my coworker’s apartment.
Contrary to the last time I went out with all my work friends (AKA my manager’s drunken birthday disaster of 2008), I’m pretty sure we’ll all still be speaking to each other on Monday! Ha.
||Jesse: that rape van has been parked outside for like two weeks
||me: is there someone inside who needs our help?
||like in running scared… wait you’ve seen that right
||Jesse: mmm i dont remember that part
||me: were you distracted by paul walker’s piercing blue eyes?
||i’m sure that was it
||Jesse: you know i must have been
||speaking of which
||i rewatched casino royale and quantum of solace with daniel craig
||dude his eyes are like the color of windex
||me: omg there’s this movie i want to see
||with the transponder and clive owen
||Jesse: you mean the transporter? jason statham?
||me: wait wait wait
||are you talking about daniel craig’s eyes right now lolol
||you know i was gonna say transporter, and then i was like no, it’s transponder… is that even a word
Yes, I got Jason Statham confused with Chandler Bing. And yes, this pretty much sums up what the rest of my day at work looked like.