For my sad bears, drunk bears, and #whyareweevenhere bears…
The right person won’t need convincing.
At last, an MTV show I can get behind.
Silver Linings Playbook. Loved, loved, loved.
My future is as clear as the shots of vodka my grandmas were doing on Christmas.
Can we just take a second to talk about my parking situation??? Okay so #1 I don’t have a designated parking spot. My garage is only big enough for my landlord’s BMW, his Mini Cooper and his diamond shoes. #2 I live on a one way street. If I can’t find parking (which is always), I have to go around the block and onto one of the busiest streets in Redondo before getting back on my street. Don’t even get me started on the street sweeping that happens twice a week. Sometimes, some asshole parks in the middle of two driveways and doesn’t leave enough room to park in front or behind them. And sometimes that asshole is me. But I digress.
It was already late, and I had to park two blocks away last night, so I considered staying off the grid till morning. Plus I had already taken my bra off, so I was in for the night. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to wake up for work without all the alarms I have set on my phone, so I grabbed my sharpest pair of fabric scissors (in case some beach bum tried to get crazy) and sprinted to my car. Okay so maybe it was more of a light jog. Get off me. Not only was I running with (fabric) scissors, but I was also running with no bra on, and that’s a dangerous situation in itself, amirite?
Apparently, by the time a woman hits 30, she loses about 90% of her eggs.
This may be the red devil in my belly speaking, but who wants to go halfsies on a
baby two-pack of First Response fertility tests???
|33 Facts You Learn About Mindy Kaling by Hanging Around Her
15. Right now, Kaling is single “and enjoying-slash-tolerating it,” she says. “It seems like when I have a serious relationship with someone, despite my schedule and everything else, they find a time to pursue me and date me. So I have this maybe naïve thing of, like, ‘Well, they’ll just find me.’ You know? ‘They will figure it out and find me and we will work it out.’”
16. It’s a belief that comes from how her parents met: In Nigeria, where her father was the architect designing the wing of the hospital her mother was working in. “She didn’t plan it, it just happened,” says Kaling. “She moved to Nigeria to be a doctor and was just living there and my dad met her and he pursued her. And as my grandmother always said, the best relationships are the ones where the guy likes the girl a little bit more than the girl likes the guy. So great, I’m busy. I’m doing something I love. And if someone really likes me, they will come and find me. I don’t mean that like, ‘Oh come find me.’ Like I’m this little daisy and I’m not a strong woman. I mean that if someone is willing, and they see what my schedule is, and they are really that interested, we’ll find a way. I don’t have to change that much.”
Evidence that The Mindy Project is actually about my life.
Honey Boo Boo‘s mama is only 2 years older than me! I have so much to look forward to.
Everything happened so fast with the move that I didn’t have time to think about it. I’m so much happier at my new job, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my dog. Le’sigh.
If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
No time! There’s never any time!
The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.
But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. That’s life, isn’t it?
I’m officially the new Web Designer for Skechers! LA, here I come… Yikes!
You are a souvenir shop, where he goes to remember how much people miss him when he is gone.
Today, I found out that my BFF is pregnant with her third kid. It’s almost like I’m having a baby, too, but without the weight gain or the big boobs. Oh, wait…
a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.
All or nothing was bullshit. It never worked out that way. Life was all about taking what you could get when you could get it and surviving when it wasn’t enough.
It’ll change your life, I swear.
Barnito Supreme speaks the truth.
New prints are up in my Etsy shop!
You can’t save a damsel if she loves her distress…
Is it just me, or does everyone else’s room get a little dusty whenever they watch google chrome commercials?
A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. It’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper—it’s you. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.
Mr. Hightower speaks an insane amount of truth.
I have found my new spiritual leader. Teach me your ways, oh wise one.
…although it’s questionable how publicly acceptable I look when I’m not at home!
Apparently, while I’m at work gchatting with my friends (which is frequently—unless my boss is reading this, in which case it’s occasionally and only on nights and weekends), they’re at home wearing mascara while I’m out in public without a stitch of makeup on.
God forbid I run into the love of my life at Starbucks while wearing my yoga pants that, if we’re being honest, have never been worn to yoga.
Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.
Via Slowly, But Shirley:
There’s usually a scene in all my favorite shows that never fails to get me all choked up… like this scene from The Office where they explain how Jim’s feelings about Pam is what caused Pam’s dad to decide to leave her mom. Sometimes getting a taste of how things should be makes you realize you’re in the wrong place…
DAVE: You might not meet not somebody tonight, but you will meet someone.
PENNY: You promise?
DAVE: Yes… as long as you promise to stop slobbering all over the champagne.
PENNY: I can’t promise that.
ROBIN: I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn’t exist. It just… ended. And, no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened. Don and I will always be a loose end. We will always be—
TED: Unfinished. Gaudí, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. But that’s not usually how it goes. Most of the time it’s just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. It’s only once you’ve stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it’s always there. And until you finish it, it will always be…
HAL: Well, let’s say that since you were little, you always dreamed of getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait but the lion doesn’t come. And along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe.
OLIVER: I’d wait for the lion.
HAL: That’s why I worry about you.
This past week, I received an email from an old high school friend I lost touch with, two of my old coworkers from two different jobs both texted me out of the blue wanting to hang out, and I just happened to cross paths with someone I haven’t seen in ten years. What’s next? The return of Crystal Pepsi?
Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse…
- Find a new home. A new apartment, a new house, maybe a new city… No one is keeping me here but myself.
- Pay off my credit cards. I just paid off my car, but my credit card debt is seriously cramping my style.
- Find a new job. It’s been over four years since I took this internship as a “stepping stone” towards my dream job. Two promotions and seven interns later, I know I’ve reached my full potential here and exhausted my stay.
- Learn how to cook. According to Skokie, it looks like I’m getting better at not burning things, so I must be halfway there! I’ve pinned a ton of recipes to try here.
- Conquer the elusive French macaron. I’m going to bake a perfect salted caramel macaron, and it will be glorious.
- Try new things. The same old is getting old. I can’t remember the last time I did something for the first time.
- Travel more. Go somewhere I’ve never been before for more than just a weekend.
- Appreciate what I have. I’ll try not to lose any sleep over the nine couples I know getting married this year. Yes, I said nine.
- Procrastinate less. If being stuck with no gas at Anthony’s during The Great Blackout of 2011 taught me anything, it’s that Anthony uses Aveeno Skin Brightening Daily Scrub. And that I shouldn’t wait until my gas light is on for two days before filling up.
- Take better care of myself. Eat better, exercise more, get regular checkups. Losing my aunt to lung cancer last year coupled with my mom’s painful battle with pancreatitis def put my health in perspective.
- Be more organized. My dad once told me that guys like girls who are more organized. I used to think it was just something that he said to get me to take the half empty bottled waters out of my car, but now I’m not so sure.
- Go to more music festivals. Outside Lands in SF last year was amazeballs. There are so many other festivals… Coachella in Indio, Lollapalooza in Chicago, Bonnaroo in Tennessee, SXSW in Austin… Where should I go next? Who’s coming with me? And most importantly, which festivals will Young the Giant be at???
I don’t know what’s sadder—that I spent my last weekend in my twenties at yet another baby shower, or that I won the dirty diaper game by identifying 10 out of 10 melted candy bars (some without even having to smell them).
It’s all downhill from here.