mayanrocks » tv
Baby Got Back.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014

new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
Needs.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014

real housewives of new jersey - a woman only needs two things: dunkin donuts and oral sex

LA opened its first Dunkin Donuts today, so I’m halfway there, you guys!

Currently.
Thursday, August 28, 2014

adventure time jake because i'm sick

I obviously went too hard this past weekend. Somebody soup me.

Brown Lightning.
Thursday, July 17, 2014

If anyone can convince me to join Tinder, it’s Djengus Roundstone.

I hope the D’s not silent…

Praise.
Monday, July 7, 2014

baby pennsatucky jesus

Darien waiting for a birthday surprise or channeling his inner Pennsatucky? You decide.

Game of Thrones Warrior Name.
Saturday, July 5, 2014

game of thrones name generator

Accurate.

Summer.
Saturday, June 21, 2014

what is going on? is it some kind of solstice? - marnie, girls hbo

Apartment Hunters.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014

broad city - apartment hunters - where's the bathroom? where isn't the bathroom?

The power went out in my apartment building again last week! I was already running late, and I had to go back upstairs in the dark to tell the maintenance guy to manually open the garage gate so I could get to fucking work already. This has happened three times in less than two months! And these are only the incidents that I know of, because I spend less than 50% of my time in this apartment (unless a burglar is reading this, in which case I’m home all the time. Plus I always keep my sharpest pair of fabric scissors within reach. And I’m not afraid to cut you.)

Once I get my new car situation settled, I’m moving out of this overpriced shit hole and torching it on yelp!

Binge.
Sunday, June 8, 2014

orange is the new black - you can’t blame the wolf. lamb’s delicious. that’s smart eating. gif

I may or may not have binge-watched the entire new season of Orange is the New Black this past weekend.

Don’t You Dare.
Thursday, May 22, 2014

new girl - don't tell me i wore my raw denim for nothing. don't you dare tell me that! dance gif

…or when your plans get canceled because the power went out in your apartment building, and your car is stuck in the sub garage. Again.

Currently.
Thursday, May 15, 2014

american horror story - bitchcraft - it's too hot. my frickin' vagina's sweating - madison

Rack City.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014

victorious dirty boob joke victorious dirty boob joke

Same.

When your coworker doesn’t even recognize you…
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

new girl - nick miller gif - i mean i'm not doing squats or anything. i'm just trying to eat less donuts.

Monday.
Monday, May 5, 2014

kim richards - but i don't want to gif - real housewives of beverly hills

Death’s Embrace.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014

the mindy project - mindy mixer - kitchen oven fire

Danny, you know my plan in an emergency is just to count to ten and wait for death’s embrace.

Further evidence that The Mindy Project is actually about my life!

Sunday Morning.
Sunday, April 27, 2014

sunday morning macarons tea adventure time ipad

Macarons, tea and my beansss!

Say Adventure.
Friday, April 4, 2014

adventure time -  say adventure - gallery 1988

OH MY GLOB <3 (@ Gallery 1988)

Tuesday.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014

broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif
broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif

Accurate.

Unsolicited facts about me.
Saturday, March 15, 2014

modern family - a kiss on the neck opens all kinds of doors

The Definition of True Love.
Monday, February 24, 2014

oitnb - i threw my pie for you - crazy eyes

But would you throw your donut for me, be honest.

Braised Short Ribs.
Monday, February 17, 2014

croce's braised short ribs

new girl jess removed from the internet

Random.
Thursday, February 13, 2014

glee - gwyneth sexy everybody's got a random

One of my randoms who I haven’t seen or responded to in five years hit me up late last night. Who does that??? Please just forget about me, just like you seem to have forgotten that you have a girlfriend and babies at home.

I’m so sick of these fucks.

Crumb.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Why don't you place just one crumb of basic human compassion on this fat-free muffin of sociopathic detachment? See how it tastes. - Girls Quote

Sandbox.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

You know, he should be here for you right now. But when the great seesaw of life throws your cunt in a sandbox, he's a ghost, nowhere to be found. This is what he does.

Serious.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014

the mindy project - danny castellano is my trainer the mindy project - danny castellano is my trainer the mindy project - danny castellano is my trainer
Girls.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013

girls season 3 premiere

Looks like I’ve locked down my birthday plans for 2014! Just kidding. The Golden Globes are also on that night.

Mob City.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013

milo ventimiglia - mob city

Oh my Milo. Mob City has arrived.

Permanent Press.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013

new girl - thanksgiving - turkey in dryer - permanent press
new girl - thanksgiving - turkey in dryer - permanent press

My Epicurious Thanksgiving Feast pinterest board won first place and an All-Clad Stainless Roasting Set just in time for the holidays!

Now if only I could figure out how to roast a turkey…

You Say Potato.
Sunday, October 13, 2013

the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted
the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted
the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted
True Partner.
Saturday, October 12, 2013

Hart of Dixie - It's just so important to have a true partner in life. You know, it's just it's something that I realized yesterday having almost died, choking on a donut. Hart of Dixie - It's just so important to have a true partner in life. You know, it's just it's something that I realized yesterday having almost died, choking on a donut.

Donuts help you realize what’s important in life.

Constantly.
Friday, October 11, 2013

the mindy project - chemical attraction yoga pants constantly the mindy project - chemical attraction yoga pants constantly

Morgan Tookers is every guy I’ve ever been with.

Fast Forward.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013

the mindy project - photo me - skank the mindy project - photo me - skank
the mindy project - photo me - skank the mindy project - photo me - skank
the mindy project - photo me - skank the mindy project - photo me - skank
Kiss of Death.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013

the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif
the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif
the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif

I fear for Rick’s life.

GPOY.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013

mindy god i want a donut gif

My coworker brought in Randy’s Donuts this morning because she wants to ruin my life, obviously.

Fan Letter.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013

bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien
bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien
bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien

Bryan Cranston got my fan letter attracts the crazies.

Diesenberg.
Sunday, September 29, 2013

breaking bad hiesenberg drawing

Even though I just started watching Breaking Bad last month, I still feel like I’ve lost a friend. A brilliant, sociopathic, meth-cooking friend.

Shots-Off.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013

the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco
the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco
the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco

Same.

The Voice.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013

adam levine the voice shy cardigan gif

Just Adam Levine being the light of my life as usual.

Holiday Weight.
Sunday, September 22, 2013

friends - joey ross - holiday weight friends - joey ross - holiday weight

My work is hosting its third weight loss challenge this year, and I’m joining for the third time! It ends the week before Thanksgiving… just in time to gain some holiday weight go shopping with my winnings ;) I’ve also decided to go gluten-free during the contest! Yikes. Thank yeezus for gluten-free vodka! I’m gonna need it…

Temporary.
Monday, September 9, 2013

orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote
orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote

You should be watching Orange is the New Black, if only for sound advice from Yoga Jones. (She was the voice of Patti Mayonnaise if that helps sway your decision at all.)

Meet me in Montauk.
Friday, September 6, 2013

orange is the new black - chemical thing - montauk
orange is the new black - chemical thing - montauk
Twerk.
Monday, August 26, 2013

hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance
hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance
hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance
hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance
hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance hank and marie schrader react to miley cyrus mtv vma performance

Jesus Christ, Marie. It’s called twerking!

Thank you, Miley Cyrus, for reminding me why I canceled my cable. I regret nothing! Also, after binge-watching all five seasons of Breaking Bad on Netflix over the past two weeks, I can now get back to my regularly scheduled life, yo!

Wolf.
Friday, July 26, 2013

castle - the heart wants what the heart wants castle - the heart wants what the heart wants
castle - the heart wants what the heart wants castle - the heart wants what the heart wants
Privacy.
Friday, July 19, 2013

modern family - privacy is dead - flip flop
modern family - privacy is dead - flip flop

I love that my new Apple TV allows me to stream episodes of Modern Family from my iPad mini to my HDTV while freeing up my macbook pro for some light internet stalking.

UNACCEPTABLE!
Saturday, June 22, 2013

earl of lemongrab adventure time sexy lingerie

…or how I wake up my coworker when we have to work on a Saturday.

31.
Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Mindy Project - I am 31 right now. I can't do this kind of thing anymore. I need to give myself a chance. And if that doesn't work out, we can maybe resume this in my 40s, 50s and 60s.
The Mindy Project - I am 31 right now. I can't do this kind of thing anymore. I need to give myself a chance. And if that doesn't work out, we can maybe resume this in my 40s, 50s and 60s.
Aware.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013

being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things - grey's anatomy - the notebook doodles

Farewell Season.
Monday, May 27, 2013

the office michael scott crying gif

…or me watching the final episodes of The Office. I CAN’T EVEN.

OneRepublic – I Lived

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

The Good Old Days.
Monday, May 27, 2013

the office finale quote - andy bernard - i wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them the office finale quote - andy bernard - i wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them

Me, too, ‘Nard Dog.

Act Fast.
Monday, May 27, 2013

the office pam beesly finale

It took me so long to do so many important things. It’s hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could’ve been. Jim was five feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. It’d be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I’m a tragic person, I’m really happy now. But it would just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself, ‘Be strong. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast! Because life just isn’t that long!’

- Pam Halpert, The Office
Inside Amy Schumer.
Sunday, May 26, 2013

inside amy schumer - i used to sleep with mostly hispanic guys, but now i just prefer consensual
inside amy schumer - i used to sleep with mostly hispanic guys, but now i just prefer consensual
Split.
Friday, May 24, 2013

vampire diaries ian somerhalder nina dobrev break up twilight kristen stewart robert pattinson break up

All my favorite vampire couples are breaking up. Nothing lasts forever. Not even the love between immortals. Why even bother setting up an OKCupid profile???

All Elbows and Penis.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013

the mindy project casey penis glasses the mindy project casey penis glasses
the mindy project casey penis glasses the mindy project casey penis glasses

Not gonna lie, I wouldn’t be mad if this happened on the regs.

Caught.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013

friends monica i'm breezy

tessism:

I do try. I’m the one that never calls too often and acts like it’s no sweat. I’m the one that stays busy, a blip here and then there. You won’t find me anywhere too long beyond what is welcome. Right?

Truth is that I am uncool. Goofy when it’s harmless. Frightening when I lose footing. I’m terrified of being seen with my love hanging out.

I know. I’m fooling no one but myself. Everybody knows. Now. I got caught loving, longing, dancing well after the music stopped.

When I google someone and see their baby registry…
Friday, May 3, 2013

girls - he hasn't returned a text of mine in two weeks and i was just coming to terms with the fact that he was dead - hannah

Oh, so that’s where you’ve been.

The Mayan Project.
Thursday, May 2, 2013

vampire diaries - madly in love vampire diaries - madly in love
vampire diaries - madly in love vampire diaries - madly in love
vampire diaries - madly in love vampire diaries - madly in love

It’s like watching myself on TV.

On My Own.
Monday, April 29, 2013

adventure time LSP can of beans on my own

LSP is my spirit animal. BUMPS ♥

Benefits.
Saturday, April 27, 2013

big bang theory - friends with benefits

All I want in life.

Madly.
Sunday, April 21, 2013

vampire diaries - madly in love vampire diaries - madly in love

STEFAN: How does anyone ever seem to move on?
CAROLINE: I think that someday, you’ll meet someone new, and you’ll fall madly in love, and you’ll have moved on without even realizing it.

Sweet Spot.
Friday, April 5, 2013

drinking to forget? that's my sweet spot - nick miller - new girl
drinking to forget? that's my sweet spot - nick miller - new girl

Same.

Shitty.
Saturday, March 23, 2013

girls - hannah horvath - i just want somoene who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks i'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me. you're charming. i really care about you. and i don't want to anymore because it feels too shitty for me. so i'm gonna leave.
girls - hannah horvath - i just want somoene who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks i'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me. you're charming. i really care about you. and i don't want to anymore because it feels too shitty for me. so i'm gonna leave.

Girls = new obsession.

Microwave Cooking For One.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013

the mindy project - mindy's birthday - microwave cooking for one the mindy project - mindy's birthday - microwave cooking for one
the mindy project - mindy's birthday - microwave cooking for one the mindy project - mindy's birthday - microwave cooking for one

This show is depressingly relatable. Also, you can get this book on Amazon.
(Don’t ask me how I know.)

Sandwiches.
Saturday, February 23, 2013

the taste anthony bourdain sandwich gif

File under ‘reasons I can’t go out this weekend’.

Truth.
Friday, February 22, 2013

scandal stolen moments olivia pope

You have nothing. You have a pile of secrets and lies, and you’re calling it love. And in the meantime, you’re letting your whole life pass you by while they raise children, and celebrate anniversaries, and grow old together. You’re frozen in time. You’re holding your breath. You’re a statue waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Living for stolen moments… you keep telling yourself they all add up to something real, because in your mind they have to, but they don’t. They won’t. They never will, because stolen moments aren’t a life. So you have nothing. You have no one.

- Olivia Pope, Scandal
Valentine’s Day.
Thursday, February 14, 2013

verizon fios order date

I regrettably opted for self-installation.

I don’t want normal and easy and simple.
Friday, February 8, 2013

scandal olivia fitz olitz edison - I don’t want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. scandal olivia fitz olitz edison - I don’t want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love.
scandal olivia fitz olitz edison - I don’t want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. scandal olivia fitz olitz edison - I don’t want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love.

#thisiswhyimsingle

Waiting.
Friday, February 8, 2013

scandal - olivia be like waiting for fitz - olitz

BRB dying.

Loss.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013

modern family - cam - these feelings would go good with pie

9:30 in the morning might seem a bit early to chalk this day up as a loss, but I’m going to do it anyway. This does not bode well for my weekly weigh-in tomorrow.

Impulsive.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013

new girl impulsive cece nick new girl impulsive cece nick
new girl impulsive cece nick new girl impulsive cece nick
I meant something like that.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013

new girl kiss nick jess

The sound that came out of my mouth was not human.

True Life.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013

mtv true life i hate wearing pants

At last, an MTV show I can get behind.

My Mistake.
Friday, February 1, 2013
new girl - nick and jess going down new girl - nick and jess going down
Party of One.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013

scandal party

This makes me miss home.

Scandal.
Thursday, January 17, 2013

scandal rose garden scandal rose garden
scandal rose garden scandal rose garden

OLIVIA: I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you. I can’t breathe because I’m waiting for you. You own me, you control me, I belong to you…

FITZ: You own me! You control me. I belong to you. You think I don’t want to be a better man? You think that I don’t want to dedicate myself to my marriage? You don’t think I want to be honorable? To be the man you voted for? I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the love of my life. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep without you. I wait for you, I watch for you. I exist for you. If I could escape all of this and run away with you? There’s no Sally and Thomas here. You’re nobody’s victim, Liv. I belong to you. We’re in this together.

I stayed home from work for a couple of days this week… partly because I have the flu, but mostly because I wanted to catch up on Scandal!

I may be a little late to this party, but how awesome is this show???

Christmas Wrapping.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012

the mindy project pact gif the mindy project pact gif
the mindy project pact gif the mindy project pact gif

The Waitresses – Christmas Wrapping

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Scroll.
Sunday, December 16, 2012

someecards birthday old

Happy birthday to the oldest 32-year-old I know! Love you, Pammie ♥

the mindy project josh caitlins iphone

Unexplainable.
Friday, December 14, 2012

maury povich

…and I thought I was having a shitty week. Seriously, whose tooth is it, Michael???

Pact.
Thursday, December 13, 2012

the mindy project pact gif the mindy project pact gif
the mindy project pact gif the mindy project pact gif
Chocolate Babka.
Monday, December 10, 2012

seinfeld the dinner party jewish chocolate babka

I baked this chocolate babka over the weekend, and it tasted exactly like the chocolate strudel from Extraordinary Desserts! Even with my new stand mixer, food processor, and Pammie’s forearms, it took hours to make. I’m pretty sure time started moving backwards as I waited for this shit to rise (twice!). I literally pulled them out of the oven at 2am and was too tired to have my way with it till morning.

Here’s Martha Stewart’s recipe if you have two pounds of chocolate and five sticks of butter laying around. This recipe yields three loaves, so I think you should make some and share it with your neighbors. Especially if you live near me.

Fertilize Me, Los Angeles!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012

new girl eggs new girl eggs new girl eggs

Apparently, by the time a woman hits 30, she loses about 90% of her eggs.

This may be the red devil in my belly speaking, but who wants to go halfsies on a baby two-pack of First Response fertility tests???

Big Girl.
Monday, October 15, 2012

new girl big girl walking dead gif
new girl big girl walking dead gif

When I went to my sister’s house in the OC to watch The Walking Dead premiere, I didn’t really think about having to drive an hour back home by myself. Or going home to an empty house past midnight… Yikes!

Fluffer.
Thursday, October 4, 2012

new girl - fluffer - are you happy now? now i have to get to know the guy i'm sleeping with - nick jess sam

I hate when that happens.

Type.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012

the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif
the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif

Sarcastic asshole? Check.
Man’s man? Check.
Danny Castellano is clearly my type.

The Mindy Project.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012

the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif
the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif

Evidence that The Mindy Project is actually about my life.

Carmageddon 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012

This pretty much sums up every conversation I’ve had in LA.

Lucky for me, I’ll be escaping Carmageddon II this weekend to be in SD for Pammie’s bridal shower! Can’t wait to see you clowns :)

Happy Monday.
Monday, September 24, 2012

jgl on snl magic mike
jgl on snl magic mike

Holy pelvic thrust, Robin!

Did anyone else spend their Saturday night in their bra and underwear watching JGL on SNL???

Yeah, me either.

Here comes the Future.
Monday, September 3, 2012

honey boo boo child mama

Honey Boo Boo‘s mama is only 2 years older than me! I have so much to look forward to.

The Landlord.
Monday, September 3, 2012
new girl stranger i met on the internet new girl stranger i met on the internet

After waking up every day at an unholy hour, driving upwards of 2 hours each way, putting 550 miles on my car, and paying $46 in toll fees to commute back and forth between my sister’s place in the OC and my job in Manhattan Beach, I’ve finally moved into my new place in Redondo Beach! I couldn’t be happier that I’m only 2 streets away from my work now.

When I found this steal on Craigslist and submitted my rental application, the landlord who lives upstairs mentioned that he loves Filipino food and has never met a Filipino he didn’t like. I mean… if he only leased the bottom floor of his townhouse to me because he thinks I know how to cook Filipino food, then he’s in for 3 months of disappointment!

GPOY.
Sunday, September 2, 2012

happy endings - brad and jane - destroy myself at the bar

GPOY.
Thursday, August 30, 2012

himym robin crying under desk

Everything happened so fast with the move that I didn’t have time to think about it. I’m so much happier at my new job, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my dog. Le’sigh.

Too Short.
Thursday, August 23, 2012

john burroughs quote

No time! There’s never any time!

‘Sup.
Friday, August 17, 2012

the one with monica's thunder joey acting young sup

12:48 PM me: ugh i’m sooo over this fifty shades ppt
they keep making changes!
12:49 PM Jesse: sup with the wack ppt presentation sup
me: lolol

Chatting with you is the only thing I’m going to miss about work! It puts a smile on my face when you send me nick@nite texts and pictures of your 22″ hot dog, so try not to forget about me after I blow this popsicle stand!

New Position.
Sunday, August 12, 2012

will and grace and vince and nadine - Last night, I accepted a new position. Then, after my date left, I got a call about a new job. - Karen Walker

I’m officially the new Web Designer for Skechers! LA, here I come… Yikes!

True Story.
Thursday, August 2, 2012

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I’m just getting more awesome. Barney HIMYM

Recommendations.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012

amazon suggestions

Clearly, some galactigeek has been using my Amazon Prime account…
(I’m talking to you, Shirley May!)

star trek picard face palm meme

This is Krumping.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping

I have exactly one week to learn these dance moves before my grandma’s birthday party.

Bomer Town.
Friday, July 13, 2012

matt bomer white collar

4:06 PM Jesse: Team USA: White Collar Is Your One-Way Ticket to Bomer Town
  did i just hear a sigh as soon as you saw matt bomer?
4:07 PM me: lol can you hear me smiling, too? :)
Hooked.
Monday, June 18, 2012

himym hooked i just can't be with you right now

ROBIN: She’s got you on the hook.
TED: What? I’m not on the hook.
ROBIN: Ted, “right now” is the classic on-the-hook catchphrase.
MARSHALL: Yup. “Right now” paints a picture of some sort of magical future time when everything will work out, but the truth is, that will never happen.
ROBIN: You like having Henrietta around for the same reason that Tiffany likes having you around—it’s a nice little ego boost. She’s stringing you along. She’s not committing to you, but she’s keeping you around just in case, like an old can of chili in the pantry.

Um, who’s buying canned chili and not eating it immediately???

Rejection.
Saturday, June 16, 2012

happy endings - it's a farmer's v

I can barely move my arms after working out with Jesse. I have blisters on my feet from yesterday’s hike with Shi. And while I wore pants, a long-sleeved shirt and a hat to protect my skin, the small area of my chest that was exposed got sunburned.

I think my body is rejecting me.

Guess what, you guys?
Friday, June 15, 2012

new girl - guess what you guys my shoes are filled with blood

That 4-hour hike up Mount Woodson was brutal, but I somehow made it to the top and back down again with a little determination and a lot of blood in my shoes.

L.A. Noir.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012

milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit
milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit

Milo Ventimiglia—a founding member of my freebie five—is suiting up as a mob lawyer in Frank Darabont’s new TNT drama, L.A. Noir.

snow white apple dead gif

Tough.
Monday, June 11, 2012

how i met your mother - the rebound girl - it gets pretty tough

Barnito Supreme speaks the truth.

Cleanse.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012

happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide
happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide

I was roped into participating in an office juice cleanse. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and it kind of feels like the first day of school. Minus the fact that you get to eat solid foods that day. I’m pretty sure we’re all going to hate each other by EOD.

The Injury.
Sunday, May 13, 2012

the office the injury

Most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me, it’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill, and it clamped down on my foot… that’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.

When I woke up to the smell of bacon this morning, I was thrilled—until I realized it was the smell of my thigh burning.

I fell asleep with my laptop on my bed last night, and Macbook Pros are notorious for running ridiculously hot. But since I’m a heavy sleeper who needs three alarms to wake up, I didn’t even flinch when the power adapter came in contact with my bare thigh and gave me a crazy second-degree burn! It’s pretty gnarly, and I can’t wear pants for the next week or so.

Oh, well. I don’t like wearing pants anyway.

Asian Jess.
Thursday, May 10, 2012

new girl asian jess new girl asian jess

I get that a lot.

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