mayanrocks » chat
Feed a Cold, Wear Some Pants.
Sunday, January 8, 2017

pajamas chat

I’m sick and I have to wear pants to bed??? Ugh.

Ouch.
Monday, November 14, 2016

inflatable tube people gif

We had a sub in cardio hip hop yesterday, and now I’m wondering whether to apply ice or heat (@ Culture Shock Dance Center)

New Phone Send Nudes.
Saturday, October 29, 2016

new phone who dis

Committed.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016

My dear friend, Christine, is officially engaged! Just a year ago, we were livin’ la vida loca in Cabo, and now she’s got a baby and a fiancé! Time moves so quickly around here. It seems like only yesterday, Christine, Jessie and I were at Blind Lady talking about the crapshoot that was the three of us, and now I’m the last one standing! The only time I’ve ever felt bad about being single is when I got into a car accident this year and had to be rescued by someone else’s husband. I was standing there at the auto shop watching them lift my car up, and my best friend’s husband was there talking to the mechanic for me, and my heart sank. Partly because they told me how much it would cost to fix my alignment, but mostly because I forgot how nice it was to have someone there to help me.

he's just not that into you - organically

The few single friends that I have are serial daters. Tinder, Bumble, OK Cupid… If there’s an app for it, they’re on it. And although I pretty much pioneered online dating 20 years ago with my first AOL boyfriend (LoL), I would still prefer to meet someone IRL. Even though most of the guys I meet in real life are assholes. My problem is that I like assholes. If Christine and that rock on her finger taught me anything, it’s that you don’t always end up with the kind of guy you’re used to being with. I definitely have a type. If they’re bearded, witty and/or an asshole, all the boxes are checked. Maybe if I go for a nice guy with a babyface who tells mediocre jokes, the outcome will be different. I guess I’ll never know since the guys my friends want to set me up with have girlfriends already! Ha.

committed chat

Tubular.
Monday, June 20, 2016

inflatable tube people gif

Unsolicited fact about me: Inflatable tube dudes are one of my favorite things in the world.

BBQ Week.
Friday, June 17, 2016

maple block meat co

When Doves Cry.
Thursday, April 21, 2016

prince text

This was like the time Paul Walker died, and everyone was texting me to make sure I wasn’t hanging from my shower rod (with the exception of Shi, of course, who was texting me corgi vids instead).

Rest in paradise, Prince! May you purify your soul in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

Early Bird.
Sunday, April 3, 2016

suds and duds

Going to a rap show and staying out till 2am on a Tuesday reminded me that I’m no spring chicken anymore. I used to be able to hang on a weeknight, but now I just get hungover! So this weekend, I was happy to do lowkey adult things like apartment hunting, grocery shopping and laundry. I even woke up at an ungodly hour to shop the early bird sales. Now I can’t wait to go to sleep on my new Vera Wang sheets and mattress topper (it’ll change your life, I swear). This old lady’s ready for bed!

Food Baby.
Friday, April 1, 2016

that's so raven - say no more gif

It took me 4 hours to drive down to San Diego for Christine’s baby shower, and I arrived with less than an hour left to partake in the taco cart. After stuffing myself with 5 tacos (the 5th one was a mistake!), I was told that the taco guy was staying an extra hour, and I didn’t need to eat all those tacos in record time.

At least the taco vendor didn’t mistake me and my food baby for the pregnant celebrant (sorry, Jessie! LOL).

3, 2, Swag.
Monday, November 23, 2015

chat rubiks cube justin bieber

Touché. I’ve always loved Justin Bieber a man with Rubik’s cube solving skillz. Add a Costco membership and I’ll likely have his babies.

Big Sur Bound.
Friday, November 13, 2015

trash bags text

I did more cleaning in the hour before Shi came over than I’ve done in the six months since she was last here! Off to Big Sur…

Transitory.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015

transitory app chat

I downloaded the transitory app partly because of craigslist killers, but mostly because my friends go on sketchy tinder dates.

Gag.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015


chat gag gif

chat gag gif
chat gag gif
chat gag gif

If I’ve ever slept over at your house, you’ve probably heard me gag while brushing my teeth and I’ve probably thrown up in your sink. It’s part of my charm.

Screenshot.
Thursday, July 30, 2015

win bbq group text

Wii.
Sunday, July 12, 2015

chat wii

Morning Wood.
Monday, June 29, 2015

morning wood text

…or one of the few things I wake up early on a Saturday for! ;)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Friday, June 5, 2015

chat shrug

FOMO.
Sunday, May 31, 2015

fomo chat

Halfway.
Thursday, May 7, 2015

donut chat

You bring a donut to one marathon and no one ever lets you forget it.

(But still bring those donuts though.)

Countdown to Cabo.
Monday, April 20, 2015
the mindy project - carry on - plane gif
the mindy project - carry on - plane gif
the mindy project - carry on - plane gif

I apologize to anyone who’s had the misfortune of traveling with me!

Countdown to Cabo:

  • Flight and hotel booked ✓
  • Passport renewed ✓
  • Summer bods (pending)
Gif Game on Fleek.
Monday, April 13, 2015

mechanical bull fail gif chat
mechanical bull fail gif chat
mechanical bull fail gif chat
mechanical bull fail gif chat
mechanical bull fail gif chat

Late.
Sunday, March 15, 2015

late chat

You’re late to everything you’ve ever attended in life, and no one ever lets you forget it.

Beignets.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015

cardio barre text

Even my phone is trying to tell me that I need cardio in my life.

#VOR.
Friday, February 13, 2015

is this a sign

The voice of reason strikes again.

Morning Ritual.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014

paris nicole clapping gif

Ooh Kill Em.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014

chipset fantasy football

ray rice fantasy football

If my sister and I share a love of anything, it’s the dulcet tones of Sam Smith, and winning. She is next level when it comes to fantasy football and being the only girl in her league!

Labor Day.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014

wood between legs

…or the only day Anthony gets to have his wood between my legs and his meat in my mouth! Not gonna lie, he smokes some damn good BBQ…

Fella.
Monday, August 18, 2014

fella texts

Bangkok.
Saturday, August 2, 2014

thaitanic

I hope Bangkok doesn’t have him now (@ LAX)

Regret Forever.
Sunday, July 27, 2014

sir paul mccarts chat

The last time Paul McCartney played a show in San Diego, I wasn’t even born yet. But I grew up listening to the Beatles because my dad would blast their records and play along with his guitar when I was a kid. I always thought he was their biggest fan, but Anthony might be giving him a run for his money.

Since none of our friends are going to the show with us, I’ll probably have to be Anthony’s emergency contact for when he faints like a fangirl at a Michael Jackson concert! Ha. When I asked my dad if he wanted tickets for his birthday, he said that he already bought tickets for himself, my mom and their friends before I even got mine. My bad, presale! Maybe someone else can be Anthony’s emergency contact after all.

michael jackson fans fainting crying screaming concerts

EuroTrip.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014

spain is on my fucket list

New.
Friday, May 30, 2014

accident text

I need new friends. And a new car :( It’s officially totaled!

Naked.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014

minnie mouse lady gaga glasses

She knows me too well.

Churros.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014

churros text

FILE UNDER: Reasons I can’t talk to you rn.

Boobs & Burns.
Thursday, April 17, 2014

boobs chat with anthony

The hideousness of my hand will haunt my dreams forever!

(But at least my boobs look great.)

Home Depot.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014

HOME DEPOT DUDE: So you want these cut at 22.5 inches?

ME: (showing him my measuring tape) Can you add one of these little guys?

HOME DEPOT DUDE: You mean 1/16th of an inch?

ME: Oh, is that what you call it…?

homer simpson hiding in bush gif

I never feel as stupid as I do when I’m at Home Deeps. I promise I’m, like, way smarter outside of the store (ignore my contradictory burnt toast post below).

I Woke Up Like This.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014

4:22 PM Deane: when do they start serving pancakes? i get here like at 8am anyway
  Zack: WHY DO YOU GET HERE AT 8AM. I’m not even awake at that point.
4:23 PM Deane: my equinox class starts at 6/6:15am errryday, son. i like waking up early. makes me feel good about myself. then i eat birthday cake pancakes and $1 french toast.
4:25 PM me: i woke up at 8:30 today
  went to sleep cute woke up cute gif - bad girls club
4:26 PM Zack: Marion you own the internet. Seriously. Its so impressive.
Pants Off.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014

TRADER JOE’S CASHIER: You just get out of work?

ME: Yeah, these heels are coming off as soon as I get home.

TRADER JOE’S CASHIER: I like to take my pants off right when I get home. I’m not even through the door yet, and I’m already unbuckling my belt.

You guys, I think I found the one <3

Crumb.
Monday, February 24, 2014

donut chat

FILE UNDER: Reasons why we’re single.

The Worst.
Monday, February 24, 2014

ME ON FRIDAY:
Have fun in SF, Deane! I won’t go to Glazed Donut Bistro without you.

ME ON SATURDAY:

glazed donut bistro - west hollywood

Braised Short Ribs.
Monday, February 17, 2014

croce's braised short ribs

new girl jess removed from the internet

Currently.
Saturday, December 7, 2013

idntfd edgar sarmiento chat

Condolences.
Sunday, December 1, 2013

paul walker dead text

When my sister woke me up from my food coma to break the news of Paul Walker‘s untimely death yesterday, I thought I was dreaming. But then it became Facebook official, and everyone started texting me to make sure I wasn’t hanging from my shower rod.

On a scale of 1 to Dawson, how ugly is my cry face right now???

dawson ugly crying gif

Thunder From Down Under.
Thursday, November 7, 2013

thunder from down under mom chat

Happy 55th birthday to one crazy broad! At her birthday dinner last weekend, our waiter thought that my mom was my sister. He also didn’t card me when I ordered my vodka. #1 How dare you? (I have the face of a goddamn minor!) #2 I hope I look as young as my mom does when I’m in my fifties!

CAPS LOCK OMG.
Monday, October 21, 2013

text butt dial
the biggest loser challenge caps lock omg michael

I love that Anthony answers my butt dials while he’s out protecting our homeland, even though I don’t answer his intended calls while I’m having a netflix marathon working! Ha.

Note to (Younger) Self.
Thursday, October 17, 2013

chat note to younger self

Speak On It.
Friday, October 11, 2013

fucking chat

If Anthony thought I was sleeping with someone every time I deliberately missed his calls, I would have screwed all of Manhattan Beach by now.

Secret Shame.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013

text trash

Either they haven’t cleaned my desk out since I left my last job (almost a year ago!), or some squatter has taken up residence underneath my old desk…

Mixed Up Kid.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013

alicia real text

I told the bestie to tell my favorite third grader that it’s easy to get confused… sometimes I have a little bit of both in me ;) Ha! Just kidding (I’ve never have Chinese in me).

UNACCEPTABLE!
Saturday, June 22, 2013

earl of lemongrab adventure time sexy lingerie

…or how I wake up my coworker when we have to work on a Saturday.

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