BEARD MAGIC HEALS EVERYTHING.
This is only the best e-card anyone has ever made me.
Thanks, Zack (and Levi!) ♥
Oh my Milo. Mob City has arrived.
Just Adam Levine being the light of my life as usual.
I literally cannot even. I am unable to even. I have lost my ability to even.
Fuck, Marlon Brando was such a babe ♥
My mom just texted me a screenshot of this puzzle she’s been doing on her iPad.
You guys, this is my future.
I would eat this up in the morning. And then have him cook me breakfast afterwards ;)
Holy pelvic thrust, Robin!
Did anyone else spend their Saturday night in their bra and underwear watching JGL on SNL???
Yeah, me either.
Spring Valley: Where Paul Walker gets his fabulous $10 hair cuts (but only on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays).
The net worth of that pin just went up. A lot.
|4:06 PM||Jesse: Team USA: White Collar Is Your One-Way Ticket to Bomer Town|
|did i just hear a sigh as soon as you saw matt bomer?|
|4:07 PM||me: lol can you hear me smiling, too? :)|
Fuck, can I get pregnant from this???
I. CAN’T. EVEN.
More photos here.
I read Fifty Shades of Grey almost immediately after I heard that Ian Somerhalder—a permanent resident in my freebie five—might play the lead in the film adaptation. Also, the mention of a ‘sex chamber’ may or may not have swayed my decision.
Clearly, I have a type!
I finished reading it in less than 24 hours. Never has a book left me so satiated… It’s so jaw-droppingly sexy that I’m not sure how they’re going to make it a movie without it being illegal in some small countries!
I wish my friends would read it already so I could have someone to discuss it with. This must be how those b’s felt about me and Breaking Dawn—I’ve been trying to finish the last book of the Twilight saga since 2008, but all my attempts to read it end with me throwing it across the room in hysterics.
On to Fifty Shades Darker! Laters, baby ;)
Adam Levine’s supermodel girlfriend dumped him and his delicious beard ten days ago, and I’m just finding out about it now???
Clearly, I’m following the wrong people on Twitter.
Fuck, I love me some Seneca Crane. Any chance those were non-toxic berries at the end of the movie?
I went home sick from work today. Besides drinking my weight in orange juice, I’ve been staring at this picture of Adam Levine for the past twenty minutes… and probably for another ten.
|3:12 PM||me: he’s a beautiful man|
|Jesse: he looks like mario lopez here|
|3:13 PM||me: how dare you!|
And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love
Mexicans 24 year olds Mark Sanchez.
The only thing better than Ryan Gosling in a suit is Ryan Gosling eating pizza in a suit. That slice from Sbarro bumps this animated gif up from a 10 to an 11!
Now who do I have to sleep with around here for someone to seed this Crazy Stupid Love torrent that’s been stuck at 56% for the past three hours???
|9:06 AM||Jesse: that rape van has been parked outside for like two weeks|
|me: is there someone inside who needs our help?|
|like in running scared… wait you’ve seen that right|
|9:07 AM||Jesse: mmm i dont remember that part|
|me: were you distracted by paul walker’s piercing blue eyes?|
|i’m sure that was it|
|Jesse: you know i must have been|
|speaking of which|
|9:08 AM||i rewatched casino royale and quantum of solace with daniel craig|
|dude his eyes are like the color of windex|
|me: omg there’s this movie i want to see|
|with the transponder and clive owen|
|9:09 AM||Jesse: you mean the transporter? jason statham?|
|me: wait wait wait|
|are you talking about daniel craig’s eyes right now lolol|
|you know i was gonna say transporter, and then i was like no, it’s transponder… is that even a word|
I’m still sick, so I’m lying in bed with tissues lodged up my left nostril, coughing up my insides and watching this video of Paul Walker on repeat.
Boys, try not to fall in love with me.
The girls and I went to Hawaii a few years ago, and Chris, the parasailing instructor from Seabreeze Water Sports, was the highlight of my trip! Christine vacationed in Hawaii this past weekend and Chris was still there. And still hot. And still half naked. He literally charmed her panties off. Just kidding. (It was a bathing suit bottom!)
When are we going back?!
Ellen: [About him and Michelle Williams] I like you individually, I like you as a couple, I don’t know if you guys are a couple, you’re being cagey about it, I know that. If you’re a couple I’m all for it. Wait, you’re pedaling faster, what’s happening?
Ryan: I’m trying to get away from this conversation.
Shirley: You don’t have a bag?
Jeff: I could never deprive the world of the portion of my chest the strap would cover.
Fuck, I love me some Joel McHale ♥