mayanrocks » birthdays
58.
Monday, November 7, 2016

My mom flips bottles better than yours.
I hope I’m half this cool when I’m 58!

Lit.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016

sparklers in donut

Birthday Blue Star Donuts for Mary (@ Venice Canals)

This peanut butter powdered donut with habanero blackberry jam will change your life.

Sprinkles.
Monday, June 29, 2015

california donuts letters birthday

Happy birthday with sprinkles on top! (@ California Donuts)

These donuts were almost as cute as my favorite 4-year-old ♥

Puppies & Parolees.
Sunday, April 12, 2015

San Diego zoo

Alicia’s birthday with these party animals (@ San Diego Zoo)

Birthday Pie.
Monday, March 9, 2015

homemade strawberry rhubarb pie - smitten kitchen

Homemade strawberry rhubarb birthday pie for my favorite pie-lover, Jessie!

Recipe from Smitten Kitchen.

Weekend Getaway.
Sunday, January 25, 2015

Six of us were supposed to vacation in Portland, but new jobs, broken water heaters, half marathons and trips to Japan got in the way. Anthony and I obviously have nothing else going on in our lives, so the two of us spent our birthday weekend traveling the pacific northwest without those clowns!

One thing I love about Portland (and pretty much any other city besides LA) is the public transit system. You can get anywhere by light rail, street car, train or bus! The light rail took us straight from the airport to our hotel downtown for $2.50 (I’ve paid nearly $40 for a cab ride to LAX, and I only live 5 miles away!). What I also love about Portland is the food. OMG, the food. They are known for their food trucks, and our hotel was a couple blocks away from a group of like 20 or so of them at Alder Food Carts. I’ve been wanting to eat at Nong’s ever since I saw her on Chopped, and it was the first of many good meals we had that weekend.

nong's khao man gai food cart portland

Friday was Anthony’s birthday, and he wanted to go to McMenamins Kennedy School for drinks. It used to be an elementary school, but they converted it into a hotel/brewery. We had drinks in the boiler room, and I got sloppy hoping Jordan Catalano would show up to no avail.

mcmenamins kennedy school boiler room

Our friend Mark lives in Portland, and we met up with him for some late night eats at Biwa. He took us to some hipster bar called Bar Bar afterwards where we met some of his designer friends. Apparently, there’s a lot of job opportunities up there! Something to consider while I’m sitting in LA traffic…

bar bar portland

Saturday was for snoozing. We slept in and hit up the farmer’s market around noon. When we couldn’t find the Pine State Biscuits booth, we decided to have lunch at Lardo, but not before having some pre-meal crepes at C’est Si Bon. The crepes were a mistake. And so were the donuts that followed at Blue Star. We somehow rolled ourselves back to the hotel and were in a food coma for the rest of the rainy afternoon. Everyone in Portland was watching the Seahawks playoff game, and we slept through half of it.

lardo portland

blue star donuts portland

When we woke up, Anthony left to work out at the hotel gym, and I ventured out on my own to see the Portland Stag Sign without telling him. It’s no secret that I get lost easily, so he decided early on that he would navigate and I was to stay at his 8 o’clock at all times. I tried to take the bus by myself, got off at the wrong stop and found myself in BUMSVILLE. I eventually found my way back to the hotel, but not before Anthony returned from the gym. He was just coming to terms with the idea that I had been abducted when I walked through the door with a bag of hot cheetos and this photo. He was not amused.

portland stag sign

I passed by Voodoo Doughnut on my way back. This bum in front threw his half eaten donut on the ground and started following me! I barely escaped with my life.

voodoo doughnut portland

We had drinks at Whiskey Soda Lounge while we waited for our table at Pok Pok that night. FYI if you’re only going to Pok Pok for their famous wings, you can skip the wait and get them at Whiskey Soda Lounge instead. Or if Portland is too far, you can come visit me when they open a Pok Pok LA this spring ;) It definitely was everything the internet promised it would be.

whiskey soda lounge pdx

Sunday was probably my favorite day, and we didn’t even spend it in Portland! We took an impromptu trip to Seattle and did every touristy thing we could fit into five hours. We ate the best clam chowder at Pike Place Chowder (and pre-meal empanadas at El Mercado Latino), dodged fish at Pike Place Fish Market, visited the first Starbucks, tested our gag reflex at the Gum Wall in Post Alley, went to the top of the Space Needle, and rode the Great Wheel. And this is where I found out this foolio is afraid of heights. The proof is in the video.

pike place market - anthony rios

post alley gum wall

original starbucks seattle

seattle space needle

After spending six hours on the train that day, I showered back at the hotel before we met up with Mark and his friends for drinks at Dig a Pony. If I knew we were going to end up at a strip club later that night, I would have waited to shower afterwards! Ha. Apparently, Portland is the strip club capital of America, and no trip is complete without visiting one. Anyway, here are some dollars that Anthony let some girl pick up with her tits while we ate tater tots. No bigs!

sassy's portland

Monday was my birthday and our last day in Portland. We had a bloody mary brunch at Tasty ‘n’ Sons, beers at Hopworks Bike Bar, doughnuts at Voodoo Doughnut, and coffee at Stumptown. I was really sick that day (Was it all the public transportation or was it the strip club? Who really is to blame???). I’m still sick two weeks later, so it’s taken me a while to get my life together and update this thing.

tasty n sons portland

hopworks bike bar portland

stumptown coffee portland

keep portland weird

When we got back to Anthony’s house that night, Pammie and Christine came over with birthday burritos from Lolita’s! It was a great end to what Anthony refers to as “the time of my life.” He wishes!

Pickle Mary.
Monday, December 15, 2014

pickle mary great maple

Pammie’s birthday brunch (@ Great Maple)

When asked if I want a big ass pickle inside my bloody mary, the answer is always yes.

Waypoint Public.
Sunday, June 29, 2014

waypoint public, north park

waypoint public, north park

who wore it better?

Who wore it better? (@ Waypoint Public)

DIY Donut Balloons.
Sunday, June 29, 2014

diy donut balloons

diy donut balloons

DIY Donut Balloons for my favorite 3-year-old!

Salud.
Sunday, March 16, 2014

tajin margarita - james republic - long beach

Tajin margarita (@ James Republic, Long Beach). Happy birthday, Karey!

Disneyland.
Sunday, February 9, 2014

disneyland

Where the churros at???

Grow.
Sunday, February 2, 2014

grow where you are planted

Good advice from the birthday girl who gave me this print last Christmas ♥

Girls.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013

girls season 3 premiere

Looks like I’ve locked down my birthday plans for 2014! Just kidding. The Golden Globes are also on that night.

Happy birthday, Pammie!
Monday, December 16, 2013

someecard birthday

You celebrate your own birthday on someone else’s birthday one time, and no one ever lets you forget it! Ha.

Thunder From Down Under.
Thursday, November 7, 2013

thunder from down under mom chat

Happy 55th birthday to one crazy broad! At her birthday dinner last weekend, our waiter thought that my mom was my sister. He also didn’t card me when I ordered my vodka. #1 How dare you? (I have the face of a goddamn minor!) #2 I hope I look as young as my mom does when I’m in my fifties!

Birthday Brunch.
Sunday, October 20, 2013

birthday brunch lafayette hotel

Happy birthday to my favorite hipster ♥

U.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013

robert stojanowski

Happy Birthday, Baby!
Saturday, June 29, 2013

darien and anthony

Happy 2nd birthday to my favorite chumbawamba!

Uncle Anthony says that you color like how Auntie Mayan drives (how dare he!), but keep coloring outside the lines, kid… Life’s more interesting that way ♥

Sloppy.
Sunday, February 10, 2013

shirley tejidor birthday shots

Back to the scene of the crime! Birthday shots at Bub’s with the birthday girl last night. It felt good to be home ♥

Dirty One.
Sunday, January 13, 2013

whisknladle la jolla san diego

Dinner and drinks at Whisknladle with my loves last night! 31 feels a lot like 30.

Scroll.
Sunday, December 16, 2012

someecards birthday old

Happy birthday to the oldest 32-year-old I know! Love you, Pammie ♥

the mindy project josh caitlins iphone

Brunch.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012

prep kitchen little italy

Chel’s birthday brunch at Prepkitchen last Sunday!

(Photo courtesy of @instapammie—I was too busy getting served by Anthony to take any pictures! Ha.)

This is Krumping.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping

I have exactly one week to learn these dance moves before my grandma’s birthday party.

Just so you know.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012

today i thought of you and not much else

Old Poway Park.
Monday, July 16, 2012

kids birthday baseball theme

Chel‘s parties are always pinterest-worthy, and Darien’s first birthday was no exception! Old Poway Park is an awesome place to have a kid’s birthday party (preferably if your kid was born between the months of October and May—I was sweating like a whore in church!).

Batter Up.
Friday, July 13, 2012

vintage baseball theme invitation kids party

Here’s a baseball-themed birthday invitation I designed for my favorite little slugger ♥

More from my design portfolio here.

Happy Birthday, Baby!
Thursday, June 28, 2012

the office jim halpert face - karen dwight imitation

Happy 1st birthday to my favorite chumbawamba!
Your Jim Halpert impression is flawless, kid ♥

Old Whore.
Saturday, June 9, 2012

you just went from whore to old whore - bluntcard birthday

Happy 30th birthday to the dirtiest sanchez I know!

Welcome to the club, old whore ♥

The Rocket.
Saturday, April 21, 2012

rocket dual beer bong

My ex invited me to his birthday party next weekend where he plans to resurrect the infamous rocket. I’m pretty sure I left my beer bonging days where I left my ex-boyfriend… in 2005 where they belong!

May the odds be ever in your favor.
Saturday, March 24, 2012

happy hour - hunger games

Million dollar margaritas with Trace last night! Happy birthday and happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor :)

The Boot.
Saturday, March 10, 2012

christine and jessie - el camino little italy

Christine and the birthday girl before she got kicked out of El Camino last night! Happy birthday, Jessie!

29!
Thursday, March 8, 2012

new girl schmidt 29

Happy 29th birthday, Gus (that’s short for “Me gusta Jess!”). Enjoy your last year in your twenties! After this, it’s all darkness. Ha!

Welcome to your nightmare.
Sunday, January 15, 2012

dirty 30

Since I didn’t instantly turn into a little old troll under a cave when the clock struck midnight on my 30th birthday, I abandoned my original plan to hide under my bed all weekend and celebrated instead:

  • Pink champagne to toast my dirtieth at work, courtesy of my boss
  • Pammie’s CMYK balloons made my little design nerd heart race
  • European Cake Gallery cake with a message from Gloria from Modern Family! Ha. It was just as good as last year’s message from the cast of Saved by the Bell.
  • Pizza and beer at Blind Lady Ale House to celebrate Anthony’s, Christine’s, and my birthday week! The only sausage I had that night was the chorizo on my artisan pizza, Shirley May =P
  • Moscow mules at El Camino and a Seau sighting at Lucha Libre with Christine, Pammie and Jessie
  • I made a wish on my creme brulee and practiced my indoor voice at Donovan’s for Restaurant Week with Pammie, Chel and Shi.

I made it through my 30th birthday relatively unscathed with a little help from my friends and a lot of liquor ;) Thanks for a great weekend, loves ♥

“I hope you I made your bday wish come true.”
Monday, January 9, 2012

happy birthday antho

Dear Anthony,

Thank you for taking me out for beers on your birthday. I was one beer away from jocking you hard into a half mouth kiss. LOLOL. That’s so ugly. My stomach hurts from laughing all night. You really are a beacon for lost souls, if only my own. Happy birthday, friend!

Oh, cruel world.
Thursday, December 22, 2011

anthropologie birthday discount

Not only did I receive a reminder from Anthropologie that I’m turning thirty next month, but I also got stuck with a “family” frame (for the husband and kids I don’t have) at the white elephant gift exchange at my office today.

If only I had picked the booze that Jesse brought so I could drown my sorrows.

3:18 PM Jesse: so im going to the home depot parking lot in 15 minutes to buy nye tickets from dude off craigslist
  me: i hope you have your gat strapped
3:21 PM Jesse: if im not back in 30 minutes, call the police cuz ive likely been stabbed and robbed
  me: can i have your white elephant gift if you don’t come back?
3:22 PM Jesse: of course
Happy birthday, Pammie!
Friday, December 16, 2011

happy birthday gift tag craft paper twine diy

Awesome gifts come in awesomely designed packages ;)

Doomsday.
Monday, December 12, 2011

you only get 10 years to be in your twenties

I officially have one month left to make some bad decisions. Where did my life go???

Happy birthday, Jesse!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011

post it prank

Happy birthday to my BFF at work! I didn’t come in an hour early to post-it bomb just anyone’s desk ;) My appreciation for you runs deeper than your secret love for Hootie and the Blowfish. And I think we both know just how deep that is. Ha!

!!!
Sunday, October 23, 2011

young the giant - hometown holiday benefit show

My favorite band on my favorite sister’s birthday in my favorite sister’s city?!

excited gif

Roll Bounce.
Sunday, October 16, 2011

skateworld san diego

To celebrate Chel’s 30th birthday, we went to Skateworld to roll bounce the night away! Just kidding. We only skated for an hour, if that. My nearly 30-year-old body was winded after a few laps. Ha.

Just so you know.
Sunday, July 24, 2011

just so you know you made my day today

For one of the most refreshingest mothas on the planet…

31 is the new 21.
Sunday, July 24, 2011

jay poopin

Happy 31st birthday to Jay, a dear friend who was dirty long before he was thirty. He also thinks that 31 is the new 21. Please don’t encourage him…

Just a cake.
Thursday, June 9, 2011

bluntcard birthday rum cake

Happy birthday, Skokie!

Dignity.
Sunday, April 10, 2011

pleasantville reese witherspoon

At Alicia’s dirty thirty last night, I realized that A) I should just automatically assume that every guy who pursues me is in a relationship (as my ongoing track record suggests) and B) maybe I shouldn’t have worn leggings. I can’t even tell you how many people grabbed my ass! I went home alone last night and I’m not gonna lie, I feel pretty good about not having to take a shame shower. I don’t care how hot you are (or how drunk I am), some guys just aren’t worth the trouble… I may have woken up this morning with dollar bills in my bra and a serious hangover, but at least I still had my dignity!

This must be how Reese Witherspoon felt in Pleasantville when she started reading books and stopped being such a whore.

Blasphemy.
Thursday, April 7, 2011

chez nous san diego spicy chicken melt special salad

Going to Chez Nous and not getting a spicy chicken melt is like going to Outback and not getting steak. Today, I did both.

My coworker’s husband brought me a fruit salad for lunch instead of my usual spicy chicken melt, and for a delicious second, I thought that the nectarine strips were fries. After work, I went to Outback for Alicia’s birthday dinner and ate grilled fish while everyone (including the 7-year-old sitting next to me) ate steak.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

29.
Thursday, January 13, 2011

ra sushi and 30 seconds to mars

Things I loved about my birthday:

  • Sushi at Ra
  • 30 Seconds to Mars show with the girls
  • Celebrating my 29th with Christine’s 30th!
  • The 188.9 miles Pammie drove to spend my birthday with me
  • Jessie remembering that I don’t like buttercream frosting
  • The laptop desk that Shi and Chel gave me (and the way its microsuede cushion feels on my bare thighs)
  • The 1×2" MS Paint printout of my gelaskin that’s arriving in the mail
  • The lotto scratchers that Jay gave me and the whopping $14 I won off of them
  • The Amazon gift card that Jessie and Christine gave me and the four pounds of protein powder I bought with it
  • The dominant homeless woman on 5th Avenue
  • The voice mail from my favorite Mexicans singing me happy birthday
  • Shi singing “Viva Las Vegas”
  • Officer Dick

One year left in my twenties, ya’ll. Hope it’s a good one!

Picture of a bike.
Friday, December 17, 2010

Happy 31st birthday to my old friend Jed, the only person who replied to my Craigslist ad about my dining set:

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY — AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

I was interested in your dining set and was wondering if you were interested in trading for any of these items:

  • Box of Rubik’s cubes. Unopened box of 12. (Stolen)
  • 20 Lbs. of frozen chicken. (Not worth too much, can be combined with anything else.)
  • Picture of a bike. I had this bike last year and sold it. Comes in .jpg format.
  • Maxim magazine with Lindsay Lohan on the cover. I just don’t find her attractive.

I can also offer 80 bucks but it’s in confederate money. I don’t know if it’s still good.
E-mail me back here. I can pick up anytime today.

I’m still waiting for my picture of a bike. In .jpg format.

Happy Dirty Thirty, Pammie!
Thursday, December 16, 2010

welcome to your nightmare ha ha ha ha modern family halloween gloria witch

Happy birthday, Mom.
Sunday, November 7, 2010

mom birthday

You told me I was just like you the other day, and I can’t think of a better compliment ♥

Obey SB.
Saturday, October 9, 2010

obey phil tayag swaggerboy jabbawockeez

Happy birthday to Phil of @THE_WOCKEEZ and @KNGDMmusic! See you at MUS.I.C in November with @pammie1216, @itschristinebp and @Raepinky16! OBEY SB!

Happy birthday, Gerald.
Friday, September 3, 2010

Happy 30th birthday to my dear friend, Gerald. You once bought me these Paul Frank pajama pants I had been eyeballing for Christmas, and I’ve never been able to wear them, because you thought I was a size smaller than I was (which was a gift in and of itself). You were the only one brave enough to teach me how to drive a stick shift, and you were patient with me even after I burned your clutch. You trusted me to watch your fish while you were deployed, and you didn’t hate me when he died. You’re the coolest navy seal I know, and wherever you are in this world, I hope that you’re safe, drinking a Monster, eating some Mike & Ike’s, and reading this wondering why you’re still friends with a person who burned your clutch and killed your fish.

Happy birthday, Rocky.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010

He’s usually a riot when it’s not his birthday. Maybe he has something against party hats?

rocky birthday puppy

(Rocky’s 4th birthday, 2009)   (Rocky’s 5th birthday, 2010)
Pretty Kitty.
Sunday, August 1, 2010

I’ve made cupcakes for a few of Kristin’s parties, so she asked me to make a Hello Kitty cake for her niece’s birthday. I can make cupcakes in my sleep, but I’ve never actually baked and decorated an entire cake before. I decided to make a practice cake first, just in case I was in over my head.

hello kitty cake

Isn’t this a pretty kitty? (That’s what she said.) Too bad this cake won’t stay fresh till next weekend! I’ll have to make another one on Friday, and now I’m left with a Hello Kitty cake that I’m not going to eat… How weird would it be if I showed up at my uncle’s retirement party with this thing?

Notorious.
Monday, July 26, 2010

Jay has a tendency to turn his birthday into a month-long extravaganza, but this year he only subjected us to two outings (shocking!). The girls and I are notorious for disappearing during his birthday celebrations every year, and he’ll never let us forget the time we left in the middle of his party for frozen yogurt at Yogotango. Or dinner at Friday’s. Or dinner at The Spot. This year was no different.

irish angel cake

This Irish Angel (chocolate cake layered with Bailey’s creme brulee) was totally worth the shit Jay’s going to give us for leaving The Office again this year when he sees the pictures we took of us eating at Heaven Sent Desserts on his camera ;)

At some point.
Saturday, July 24, 2010

there isn't a day that goes by where i don't at some point think of you

Dirty Thirty.
Saturday, July 24, 2010

[showtime width=435 height=326 transition=fade rotationtime=2 transitiontime=1 transitionease=none autoplay=on fullscreen=off scale=noscale showcontrols=on showtext=off showalt=on shuffle=off bgcolor=#FFFFFF]

Things I love about Jay:

  • He was the first boy who asked me to a high school dance via AOL circa 1998 (there are so many things wrong with this sentence).
  • He dresses up as a girl every Halloween.
  • He’s more proud than embarrassed about the night that he sharted in public.
  • He knows all the lyrics to Debarge’s “Rhythm of the Night.”
  • Even though I’m horrible at returning his phone calls, he still considers me one of his dearest friends and treats me like one, too.

Happy birthday, love. See you tonight for your aptly titled “Dirty, Flirty, Hurt Me 30” party!

Birthday cake.
Friday, July 23, 2010

bacon chocolate cake riviera supper club and turquoise room

Jay’s bacon chocolate birthday cake at The Riviera Supper Club!

(App: Hipstamatic / Lens: Kaimal Mark II / Film: Ina’s 1969)

Happy birthday, Skokie.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010

skokie shocker

Happy birthday to my dear friend, Skokie! Five years later, and you haven’t changed much. You’ll always be my favorite Mexican. Love you, friend ♥

Today (and every day).
Tuesday, April 20, 2010

i curse the day you were born

¡Feliz cumpleaños, Alicia!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010

happy birthday alicia

I googled “happy birthday alicia” and these are the images that came up! Haha. Happy 29th birthday to my favorite Mexican. I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you today, but I hope these googled cakes will suffice until we meet again (soon, I hope). Love you mucho, cabrona ♥

Happy birthday, Trace.
Saturday, March 27, 2010

mayan and trace

Happy 25th birthday to my dear friend, Trace. No matter how long it has been since we’ve seen each other, we always pick up right where we left off ♥

The One Where Shi Turns 29.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Happy birthday to my heart twin, Shi. I love you like I love walking around in my chones. And when you come over, I love you enough to put on some pants.

(image via flickflickflicker)

Infectious.
Sunday, February 7, 2010

cups la jolla

Pammie, Chel, Shi, Anthony and I (the Choadorios!) hit up Pho Cali and Cups for Shi’s birthday. No matter where we are, we always end up being that table—the loudest one in the restaurant. Sorry if we’re just having more fun than you… Vietnamese noodles and cupcakes aren’t exactly fine dining, so learn to love our obnoxious infectious laughter and keep cool, my babies. My stomach hurts from all that laughing. Or maybe it was from those two cupcakes I ate. Or the breakfast burrito I had earlier… Get off me.

Pity party, table for one.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I know I have you guys, but—and really, I hate myself a little for saying this—but it felt really sad not to have a man in my life who cares about me. No special guy to wish me happy birthday. No goddamn soul mate. And I don’t even know if I believe in soul mates.

– Sex and The City

Up until four years ago, I had a boyfriend to wish me happy birthday every year for nearly a decade. I’ve had dates, relationships and what have you over the past few years, but no amount of smizing, hair flips or threats could make them stick around for my birthday. Maybe it’s those crazy wish lists I come up with, I don’t know. I hate how I let this one thing I don’t have affect all the things I do have. I’m so lucky to have such great friends and relatives. I received over fifty birthday greetings via text, Facebook and phone. But the truth is, everything could be going great in my life and none of it would matter if I didn’t have anyone to share it with.

This year was no different. Il Postino knew it was my birthday. He knew. He asked his sister where she was taking me for dinner that morning. I wish she wouldn’t mention me at all around him. I’m almost certain that if we didn’t have her to keep us connected, we would’ve let each other go a long time ago. I never ask for anything. All I wanted was to be acknowledged. He couldn’t even bring himself to—at the very least—leave me a Facebook message wishing me a happy birthday in the most informal way he possibly could. His complete disregard for me stings more than the leopard print body pillow his mom gave me for Christmas.

But in spite of all that, I saw him again last night. I didn’t bring up my birthday. I didn’t bring up the fact that we haven’t spoken since the meteor shower. Disappointment is an emotion I’ve gotten used to wearing around him. He never apologizes for anything, with the exception of that one time last summer—and even that felt like it was court-ordered. I live for these sort of movie moments. That’s all I have with him. Just moments. It’s the reason why I never argue with him. Because no matter how bad it gets, I always come back. So why ruin the moment? When I see him, it’s understood that we revert to the way things used to be between us… when everything was beautiful and nothing hurt, if only for one night. Or maybe I’ve misunderstood all along. Maybe these moments have been meaningless from the start.

I’ve realized that nothing will ever make him sure of me—not the fact that his family adores me, not the familiarity of my lips or the way my hand always fits perfectly in his, not the SpongeBob DVDs I gave him for Christmas that he didn’t bother to acknowledge just like my birthday, and especially not the fact that for reasons I can’t explain, I’ve always been so sure of him.

Birthday Recap.
Monday, January 18, 2010

mayan birthday

Thanks to everyone for a memorable birthday! I just wanted to keep it simple with no frills… I don’t need to celebrate my growing spinster status! Pammie, Shi and Chel treated me to Extraordinary Desserts last weekend. We tried the Chocolate Strudel, Lemon Bar, Strawberry Shortcake, Raspberry Linzer Danish, Strawberry Crumb Cake and Matcha Green Tea Lattes. Don’t judge us! The girls gave me a gift certificate for a massage at Chiropractique! I hadn’t even posted my birthday wish list yet, and they already knew what I wanted. I guess I talk about my love for massages that much! Maybe I should start talking about my love for bearded Mexicans who drink beer and watch football—oh wait, I already do ;) There’s always next year. Haha. We somehow rolled ourselves over to the theater to watch Leap Year after all that yummy dessert. I loved it, just like Il Postino told me I would. Le’sigh.

On Monday, I went to happy hour with Jay and some JCP folk. Always a good time and good laughs with these people! Jay gave me a gift certificate to Chef City so I could load up on restaurant supplies. I think that’s a hint for me to start looking for a new apartment so I can go back to hosting food nights at my place! Just like the time he gave me that cupcake cookbook… I’m sure it was more for his benefit than my own! Haha. I still love you, friend :) Anyway, I drowned myself in margaritas since I was off the next day. It was quite the nightcap—I was in bed by eleven. I’m getting so old!

I took the day off for my actual birthday. I always do, even if I have nothing planned. Having to work on your birthday is all kinds of unholy. Kind of like eating meat on Good Friday. Or going commando in another man’s fatigues. It’s just something you don’t do! Pammie had some fruit truffles delivered to my house from Edible Arrangements! Best sister EVER! The BFF, Ray and the kids took me out to dinner at Phil’s. They told one of the employees it was my birthday and she had the entire restaurant sing to me! Mortifying. At least I got a free t-shirt out of it. As if I wasn’t embarrassed enough, I sat in the front seat of Ray’s Green Machine while he bumped reggae music on the drive home. Haha… I’m kidding, Ray. I love reggae and your freakishly small car—I can’t speak for your family squished in the backseat, though. Il Postino’s mom left me a gift at the their house. She’s such a sweetheart. It was a tea collection complete with a jar of honey and an adorable beehive-shaped wooden honey-stick thing. Perfect for this gloomy weather we’ve been having!

I was in the middle of taking pictures of my favorite munchkin with my new camera when my dad texted me that I had a package at the house. Who would send me a package in the mail? And an even bigger question—since when does my dad know how to text message? I texted my sister and asked her if she sent me anything. She said she didn’t, but that I should go to the house and see what it is. I wondered if Skokie had sent me something since he asked me for my address the weekend before, but the last thing I remember him buying me was a Costco hot dog for my birthday six years ago. Haha. Not likely. I hadn’t seen the BFF since before Christmas, so I told myself I would just check it later.

Half an hour goes by and Shi texts me, “GO HOME.” The girls surprised me at my house with a “Nothing Bundt Drama” red velvet cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes! Are those bitches trying to tell me something? Haha. I love, love, love these girls.

No one attracts cholos the way I do.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Run Into Flowers:

To one of my best friends and cousins, Mayan, Happy Happy Birthday! No one else can foretell the future like you do, do graphic design like you do, attract cholos the way you do, or wear bathing suit bottoms like you do. I love you!

raechel tejidor

Slowly, But Shirley:

Heart twins…

bosom buddies

It’s just how we roll =)

sexified

No one knows my heart like you do, love! Happy Birthday Mayan! Love you!

Birthday Wish List.
Sunday, January 10, 2010

wish list 2010

Is it weird that Il Postino’s mom gave me a leopard print body pillow for Christmas? How does that woman know I’ve been sleeping alone? A boyfriend arm pillow would’ve been more obvious, but I’m picking up what she’s putting down!

Between the holidays and moving, I didn’t have time to make a Christmas wish list like I usually do. My birthday is in a few days, so I’m posting one anyway! As I was making my list, this 13-year-old asks me, “Do you REALLY think your friends are gonna buy you this stuff? Most of it costs over $200!” Shut it, kid! It’s called a “wish” list. Not a “things-I-can-afford-to-buy-myself” list. I mean, seriously… what do kids learn in junior high these days? I could really use more practical stuff like gift cards to Target, Walmart, Costco or Arco… but where’s the fun in that? On to the list…

Happy birthday, Kristin.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009

chocolate peanut butter cupcake

I made chocolate peanut butter cupcakes for Kristin’s birthday last night. It took me three trips to the grocery store—I don’t know where my head’s been lately. I had too much vodka fun at her birthday party. It’s a good thing my coworkers were too distracted by the leftover cupcakes I brought them to notice all that fun seeping through my pores this morning.

Happy birthday to my dear sister.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009

pammie birthday

Happy 29th birthday, Pammie! No one looks out for me like you do. If anyone ruined your birthday, I would ruin their life. I’m glad you loved our birthday surprise!

Happy birthday to my favorite kindergartener.
Saturday, November 28, 2009

She’s only the coolest 6-year-old I know. I had to make her some cool cupcakes:

hannah montana cupcakes

Happy birthday, Mama.
Saturday, November 7, 2009

mom

Happy 51st birthday to my beautiful mother!

Happy birthday, Chubbs.
Sunday, October 25, 2009

chubbs photo booth

Happy birthday to the sweetest 13-year-old I know.

Happy birthday, Chel.
Friday, October 16, 2009

chel birthday

Happy 28th birthday, Chel! How adorbs are you in your mustache ring? We’re glad you loved our gift!

Happy birthday, Daddy.
Thursday, October 8, 2009

old school dad

Happy 56th birthday to my pops. He’s been rockin’ the guitar since the 60s!

I always forget to forget you.
Monday, April 20, 2009

i always forget to forget you

Sara Bareilles – “Gravity”

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Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here ’til the moment I’m gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Happy birthday, Trace.
Friday, March 27, 2009

We always have way more fun than it makes sense for us to be having :)

Happy birthday, Shi.
Monday, February 9, 2009

shi cmyk

Happy 28th birthday to the craziest biatch I know! No one knows my heart like you do. Thanks for EVERYTHING.

Magical.
Monday, April 7, 2008

disneyland

I spent the weekend at Disneyland with my favorite Mexicans for Alicia’s 27th birthday. It was truly magical :) Happy birthday, babe!

Brazilian Birthday.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008

So my birthday kicks off this weekend followed by a week in Hawaii with the girls. In preparation, I’ve exercised twice a day drank several Coldbusters to make sure this cold I got over New Years doesn’t ruin my vacation. I’ve also made my pearly whites more pearly, gotten my eyebrows waxed, made an appointment for a pedicure… You know, normal girly things that girls do to make them feel nice (and make boys notice their niceness)… The rest of the girls I’m going to Hawaii with all 1up’d me and gave up carbs and exercised daily and oh, did I mention they all got motherfucking BRAZILIANS! What’s a brazilian, you ask? No, it’s not Tom Brady’s ladyfriend. Let me spell it out for you… It’s P-A-I-N. I popped a vicodin or two (or five) to ease the peroxide-induced pain of teeth whitening. I’m exaggerating zero percent. What would it take for me to numb the pain of waxing where the sun don’t shine? A fucking qualude? That’s a level of sexy I’m not ready for. Most (if not all) of my girl friends are in a relationship. Including my one lesbian friend. I’ve found that as a single girl you can go in one of two directions… You can either wax your nether regions, wear makeup just to get the mail outside and follow a strict diet to a better skinnier you. OR you can take advantage of the fact that nobody sees your legs anymore and let a day or two go by without shaving, eat all the carbs you want because sandwiches make you happier than any man ever could, and forgo the expensive perfume you used to wear for a cheaper bar of Ivory soap. I’ve elected to go the latter since my break up almost two years ago (has it really been that long?). Maybe I’ll reconsider becoming that hairless waif when I don’t enjoy having my bed all to myself anymore.

Christmas/Birthday Wish List 2007.
Saturday, December 1, 2007

Sam the Cooking Guy Class at the Red Kitchen
Because I ♥ Sam. And I can’t cook.
Price: $150
Available at samthecookingguy.com.

(Thanks, Pammie!)

Stella Im Hultberg "Heartbeats" Limited Edition Giclee Print
Because Stella is my favorite artist. Price: $200.00
Available at Thinkspace Gallery in Silverlake.

(Merry Christmas to myself!)

Capri Blue Red Jar Candle (Volcano)
Because I’m a candle snob. And Jay occasionally uses my bathroom.
Price: $28
Available at Anthropologie.
Super Malfi
Because he makes me happy.
Price: $23.98
Available at friendswithyou.com and Kidrobot.
Divide Social Club "The DSC for Life" Shirt (M)
Because in Dino DeMilio I trust.
Price: $20.00
Available at dividesocialclub.com.
Stella Im Hultberg "Never Mind" iPod Gelaskin
Because a sexy machine just got sexier.
Price: $14.95
Available at gelaskin.com.
Kurt Halsey 2008 Calendar
Because I can never remember what day it is. And KH saturates my soul ♥
Price: $24.00
Available at artstarphilly.com.
Kurt Halsey Cloud Bank
Because I need somewhere to put all those Sacajaweas I get from the vending machine at work.
Price: $20.00
Available at Urban Outfitters .
Dooney and Bourke Hayden Bag
Because everytime I buy a bag I ask myself, "Will my polaroid camera fit in here?"
And I might have a tiny girl crush on Hayden Panettiere.
Price: $500.00
Available at dooney.com.
The Beatles Complete Chord Songbook
Because I want to be as good as my dad.
Price: $19.95
Available at Guitar Center.
A Hard Days Write
Because I should’ve been alive in the 60s.
Price: $27.82
Available at amazon.com.
KitchenAid Artisan Series 5-Quart Mixer (Onyx Black)
Because I’m droppin’ cupcakes like Galileo dropped the orange.
Price:
$199.99
Capri Blue Fragrance Diffuser (Volcano)
Because sometimes I forget to blow the candle out.
Price: $25
Available at decoragora.com.
Luggage Tags with Attitude
Because someday I’m going to travel the world.
Price: $9.99
Available at pamelabarsky.com.
Parking Meter Alarm
Because I got three parking tickets this year.
Price: $9.99
Available at merlinsbox.com.
Buddha Bowl
Because I prefer to eat on the couch.
Price: $18.50
Available at flavourdesign.com.
Sun Jar
Price: $44.00
Available at charlesandmarie.com.
Lumen Oil Lamp
Price: $50.00
Available at Museum of Modern Art.
Boyfriend Arm Pillow
Because I hate sleeping alone. Just kidding (about wanting the pillow, not the sleeping alone part).
Price: $19.95
Available at whatonearthcatalog.com.

Sony W90 8.1MP Digital Camera

Because I take embarassing pictures of people and post them on their Myspace.
Price: $229.99
Available at Costco.
Pink Studio "Ira" Wedges (Size 8.5, Yellow)
Because they don’t match anything in my wardrobe. Price: $68.00
Available at emmapink.com and Mint in Hillcrest.
Dick Blick Gift Certificate
Because I buy more art supplies than college textbooks.
Price: $5.00+
Amazon Gift Certificate
Because the few college textbooks I do buy are ridiculously expensive!
Price: $5.00+

The Travel Book: A Journey Through Every Country in the World
By Roz Hopkins
Price: $31.50
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.

The Cities Book: A Journey Through the Best Cities In the World
By Roz Hopkins
Price: $31.50
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.
1,000 Places to See Before You Die: A Traveler’s Life List
By Patricia Schultz
Price: $13.57
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.
My Secret: A PostSecret Book
By Frank Warren
Price: $14.93
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.
A Lifetime of Secrets: A PostSecret Book
By Frank Warren
Price: $18.45
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.

Color: Messages & Meanings: A Pantone Color Resource
By Leatrice Eiseman
Price: $26.39
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.

D.I.Y.: Design It Yourself
By Ellen Lupton
Price: $14.93
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.
Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair
By Pablo Neruda
Price: $10.00
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.
The Twilight Collection
By Stephenie Meyer
Price: $34.65
Available at Amazon.com and all major bookstores.
Gilmore Girls – The Complete Series Collection
Because I’ve been into Milo Ventimiglia since Jess broke up Rory and Dean in 2002.
Price: $169.99
Friends – The Complete Series Collection
Because I can’t take my mom’s with me.
Price: $162.99
Sex and the City – The Complete Series
Because I am Charlotte. Pammie is Miranda. Chel is Samantha. And Shi is Carrie.
Price: $158.99

Alias – The Complete Collection
Because I’ve loved Jennifer Garner since she reminded us that Razzles are a candy. And a gum.
Price: $145.99

Juxtapoz Magazine – Art and culture
Price: $24.99

Venus Magazine – Women in music, art, film, fashion, DIY culture
Price: $19.95

Rolling Stone Magazine – Music
Price: $28

It’s a celebration, bitches.
Monday, July 23, 2007

Whenever I exchange E-mails with Pammie, Chel and Shi, our conversations always revolve around the same topics: bitches, assclowns and our love for frozen yogurt. Chel and Shi have been raving about this place in SD that rivals Pinkberry, so we finally got together on Thursday night and had ourselves some fro-yo (while talking about bitches and assclowns). A great start to a pretty fuckin’ awesome weekend, I must say. We hit up Riley’s for drinks afterwards where Chel’s boyfriend was spinning and met up with some friends I haven’t hung out with in forever. The boys and I caught up over late night munchies at Denny’s and headed back to the valley for a short hookah session at E’s house before passing out at home.

When I woke up the next morning afternoon, I found out that Dino DeMilio was using the illustration I made of him as his default image on his Myspace aaaaand he credited it to mayanrocks.com! A lot of members created dollar graphics in honor of Dino and the Divide Social Club, but I wanted to put my spin on it. I drew his head in Illustrator and morphed it into an Obey homage to The Godfather. Fitting, isn’t it? I thought so. I’m honored that he put it on his Myspace. You won’t have access to their pages since they’re private, so here’s a photo of Dino, Milo and Russ of the DSC. YOWZA.

Julz and Jay’s birthday bash at Heat Supper Club was the highlight of my weekend. I’m usually anti-downtown when it comes to partying. I’d much rather chill at a dive bar than anywhere on Fifth. HOWEVER, all that was forgotten once I was introduced to bottle service. And roped off VIP booths. And microsuede walls. I pretty much had the time of my life that night… and I’ve got 500 pictures to prove it (cut down to a little more than half that after I deleted all the drunken, blurry pictures of nothing). Too bad I’m not in any of them since I was the drunkie snapping away all paparazzi status. I guess you’re just gonna have to take my word for it.

We continued Julz’s birthday celebration at Morena Club on Saturday night. It was pretty low key… Just our group of friends celebrating on familiar territory. Julz threw up, of course, but he surprisingly wasn’t tied up this year! Not yet, anyway (maybe in Vegas this weekend). We ate breakfast at Tyler’s afterwards and went home to rest up for our softball game on Sunday. I wasn’t planning on playing, since I had work later that afternoon, but they needed a catcher. I was wearing a jean skirt and flips flops, so I was the obvious choice. I was just there to get my tan on before work! I told them I didn’t like balls flying at my face, but I ended up playing anyway. I always find myself in Eastlake on days that Chick-Fil-A is closed. It’s probably for the best.

So I can’t wait till this weekend. Having limited time with my friends lately has made me miss them.

I’ll probably be bitching about them when I come home from Vegas.

Don’t mistake the wasabi for green tea ice cream.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004

My birthday’s officially over. Thanks to everyone who called today and came out to celebrate with me over the weekend :) Today, I had dinner at Onami’s with my dad, sister, Edgar and Jed. We came back to my house afterwards and made smoothies with my new Smoothie Pro600 (thanks, Pammie!). Now I can make the defunct Pineappalooza smoothie from Jamba Juice (damn seasonal drink)!!! I need to start eating healthier and actually USE the 24-Hour Fitness membership (you can’t lose weight by just SIGNING UP, though I used to be convinced that you could). I want a smokin’ body by the time summer arrives and Pineappaloozas are back in season!

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