mayanrocks » heartbreak
Homesick.
Monday, February 4, 2013

the avett brothers homesick

Scandal.
Thursday, January 17, 2013

scandal rose garden scandal rose garden
scandal rose garden scandal rose garden

OLIVIA: I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you. I can’t breathe because I’m waiting for you. You own me, you control me, I belong to you…

FITZ: You own me! You control me. I belong to you. You think I don’t want to be a better man? You think that I don’t want to dedicate myself to my marriage? You don’t think I want to be honorable? To be the man you voted for? I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the love of my life. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep without you. I wait for you, I watch for you. I exist for you. If I could escape all of this and run away with you? There’s no Sally and Thomas here. You’re nobody’s victim, Liv. I belong to you. We’re in this together.

I stayed home from work for a couple of days this week… partly because I have the flu, but mostly because I wanted to catch up on Scandal!

I may be a little late to this party, but how awesome is this show???

The Splash.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012

tyler knott gregson typewriter series

Absence.
Friday, September 28, 2012

tyler knott typewriter series #181 absence

I Will Wait.
Monday, August 27, 2012

Mumford & Sons – I Will Wait

And I will wait
I will wait for you

Elsewhere.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012

But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. That’s life, isn’t it?

– Gabrielle Zevin, Elsewhere
Celeste and Jesse Forever.
Sunday, August 12, 2012

kristen bell crying gif so many feels

Souvenir Shop.
Monday, August 6, 2012

everything is illuminated movie - the collector

You are a souvenir shop, where he goes to remember how much people miss him when he is gone.

R.I.P. Robsten.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012

kristen stewart cheated on rob pattinson

At least we still have Kimye.

Alive and Unfinished.
Thursday, July 19, 2012

heartworm, n.
a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

Happiness.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012

don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose - c.s. lewis

I’m doing it wrong.

Almost.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012

you and me and never us; a complicated series of almost interactions

Surviving.
Monday, July 9, 2012

All or nothing was bullshit. It never worked out that way. Life was all about taking what you could get when you could get it and surviving when it wasn’t enough.

– Maya Banks
Spill.
Friday, June 29, 2012

tyler knott typewriter series

Hooked.
Monday, June 18, 2012

himym hooked i just can't be with you right now

ROBIN: She’s got you on the hook.
TED: What? I’m not on the hook.
ROBIN: Ted, “right now” is the classic on-the-hook catchphrase.
MARSHALL: Yup. “Right now” paints a picture of some sort of magical future time when everything will work out, but the truth is, that will never happen.
ROBIN: You like having Henrietta around for the same reason that Tiffany likes having you around—it’s a nice little ego boost. She’s stringing you along. She’s not committing to you, but she’s keeping you around just in case, like an old can of chili in the pantry.

Um, who’s buying canned chili and not eating it immediately???

Dream.
Friday, June 15, 2012

you were in my dream last night and i kissed you right on your goddamn face

Tough.
Monday, June 11, 2012

how i met your mother - the rebound girl - it gets pretty tough

Barnito Supreme speaks the truth.

Desire.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012

i desire the things which will destroy me in the end - sylvia plath
You can’t save a damsel if she loves her distress…

White Fang.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012

new girl white fang new girl white fang
new girl white fang new girl white fang
Passion.
Friday, May 4, 2012

new girl passion

RUSSELL: Look, Jess, I’ve already done the crazy, explosive passion thing. When I was with Ouli, it was like edging closer and closer to a wood chipper… I’m not looking for that anymore.
JESS: I understand. But I am. And I want passion. Even if it’s harder and hurts more.

Fingers Crossed.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Is it just me, or does everyone else’s room get a little dusty whenever they watch google chrome commercials?

Open Flame.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012

we're all drawn to the warmth of a true connection, but don't stand too close to an open flame; someone will surely get burned. - revenge

The Wrong Place.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

Via Slowly, But Shirley:

the office stress relief pam

He said that you told him how much you love me.

About how you feel when I walk in a room.

About how you’ve never doubted for a second that I’m the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.

And I guess he had never felt that way with my mom, even at their best.

There’s usually a scene in all my favorite shows that never fails to get me all choked up… like this scene from The Office where they explain how Jim’s feelings about Pam is what caused Pam’s dad to decide to leave her mom. Sometimes getting a taste of how things should be makes you realize you’re in the wrong place…

Unfinished.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012

unfinished himym

ROBIN: I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn’t exist. It just… ended. And, no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened. Don and I will always be a loose end. We will always be—

TED: Unfinished. Gaudí, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. But that’s not usually how it goes. Most of the time it’s just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. It’s only once you’ve stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it’s always there. And until you finish it, it will always be…

Charlotte Sometimes.
Monday, February 20, 2012

Charlotte Sometimes is on The Voice! Waves & The Both Of Us got me through some shit with Il Postino years ago! So excited to see her on the show. Now I have a reason to watch besides Adam Levine’s beard (as if that wasn’t reason enough).

Charlotte Sometimes – Pilot
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Charlotte Sometimes – Pilot.mp3]

And when I say that you should stay
Remember what I’m drinking’s cheap
And I’m a pilot and I am steering deep

The problem is…
Wednesday, November 16, 2011

the problem is you're never all that far - ache in my heart

Let’s rewind.
Monday, October 17, 2011

goldspot - let's rewind - how i met your mother - asking you to stay the words are finally here

Goldspot – Rewind
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/GoldSpot – Rewind.mp3]

Edge of desire.
Thursday, September 8, 2011

john mayer - edge of desire - there i just said it i'm scared you'll forget about me

Drama Club.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011

hello september

Quote of the day:

If they will do it with you, they will do it to you.

Dinner with friends turned into an emergency girl boy session at Station Tavern last night. Afterward, I polished off an entire bottle of wine by myself like I was the one hurting! Or… like it was just another Tuesday. Ha.

August was a tough month for love! Hello, September. I hope you’re amazeballs.

Amas Veritas.
Saturday, August 27, 2011

amas veritas practical magic spell

The universe is obvi confused about what we want, judging by the excessive amount of emergency girl sessions, tears and vino consumed this past month. So the girls and I wrote our own letters to the universe last night and lit that shit on fire.

We were enjoying some sangria afterward when the man at the neighboring fire pit offered us some brisket. Was the universe answering my letter already? Maybe I should have been more specific when I said I wanted more meat in my life!

The hitch.
Thursday, August 4, 2011

Ubiquitous, adj.

When it’s going well, the fact of it is everywhere. It’s there in the song that shuffles into your ears. It’s there in the book you’re reading. It’s there on the shelves of the store as you reach for a towel and forget about the towel. It’s there as you open the door. As you stare off into the subway, it’s what you’re looking at. You wear it on the inside of your hat. It lines your pockets. It’s the temperature.

The hitch, of course, is that when it’s going badly, it’s in all the same places.

– David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary
Nostalgia.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011

nostalgia

Mistake.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011

‘It was a mistake,’ you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.

– David Levithan
Re: Stacks.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Bon Iver – Re: Stacks
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Bon Iver – Re Stacks.mp3]

Everything that happens from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed

You were having a shitty day at work today, so I shared my favorite Bon Iver song with you to make you feel better. And then I found out what you did. Now every time I hear this song, I’ll be reminded of the exact moment you lost me as a friend.

Friends.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011

friends - i'm sorry did my back hurt your knife?

Nothing a bottle of sauv blanc can’t fix… especially when you’re drinking it with your REAL girlfriends.

Risk.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011

the risk i took was calculated, but man am i bad at math

488.
Saturday, July 16, 2011

500 days of summer

TOM: Why’d you dance with me?
SUMMER: ‘Cause I wanted to.
TOM: You just do what you want, don’t you?

Bottled away.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011

the past

The Limit to your Love.
Saturday, June 25, 2011

Feist – The Limit to your Love
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Feist – The Limit To Your Love.mp3]

Clouds part
Just to give us a little sun
There’s a limit to your love

What if.
Friday, June 24, 2011

you will always be my biggest what if

Ashes & Wine.
Friday, June 24, 2011

A Fine Frenzy – Ashes & Wine
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/A Fine Frenzy – Ashes And Wine.mp3]

Is there a chance
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel
A reason to fight

Laugh, cry and everything in between.
Monday, May 9, 2011

I’ve read your entire blog from beginning to end and it made me laugh, cry and everything in between. When I was reading I kept thinking, you’re so honest and you’re not afraid to say what you feel. If I ever bump into you on the streets of SD I would totally give you a big hug and say, Thank you!

Cat T.

Holy balls! Beginning to end??? When I started this blog in 2003, all I talked about was concerts, food and my boyfriend. 8 years later, I’m still blogging about concerts, food and my (now ex) boyfriends! Some things never change…

I feel like I lead a different life on the interwebs, because IRL I’m not this candid. Here, I’m not afraid to admit that I still think about you without feeling like a total idiot… Maybe you’ll read it, but most likely you won’t. It’s easier to say these things when you think that no one is listening.

If you were able to identify with anything I’ve written these past 8 years, then I’m glad you found my blog :)

Somewhere only we know.
Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Warblers – Somewhere Only We Know (Keane Cover)
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Glee – Somewhere Only We Know.mp3]

And if you have a minute why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go somewhere only we know

The Lover’s Dictionary.
Friday, May 6, 2011

the lover's dictionary david levithan

dispel, v.
It was the way you said, “I have something to tell you.” I could feel the magic drain from the room.

The Lover’s Dictionary, David Levithan
Fantasy.
Monday, March 28, 2011

ugly betty - grin and bear it - 2x04 - henry and betty

HENRY: I didn’t want to tell you, because as long as you didn’t know, there was still… I don’t know… some fantasy where you and I could be together.
BETTY: Sometimes we want things to be different. We think maybe if we pretend that they are… fool people… that’s enough. But it never is.

I have a habit of getting addicted to shows after they’ve already been canceled. And I hate when they say, “To be continued…” at the end of an episode, because even when it’s past my bedtime, I have to continue.

Someone Like You.
Sunday, February 13, 2011

Adele – Someone Like You (Live Acoustic)
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Adele – Someone Like You (Live Acoustic).mp3]

I heard that you’re settled down
That you found a girl and you’re married now
I heard that your dreams came true
Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you

Absurd.
Monday, January 24, 2011

The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd; the longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.

– Fernando Pessoa
Blue Valentine.
Friday, January 7, 2011

Can’t wait to watch Blue Valentine tonight with the girls!

The Only Exception.
Monday, September 27, 2010

Glee Cast – The Only Exception (Paramore Cover)
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Glee Cast – The Only Exception.mp3]

I’ve got a tight grip on reality
But I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here
I know you’re leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream

One of my favorite songs covered by one of my favorite TV shows ♥

The only thing.
Monday, August 23, 2010

the only thing that makes it a part of your life is that you keep thinking about it

(image via plastic-sfoonss)

At some point.
Saturday, July 24, 2010

there isn't a day that goes by where i don't at some point think of you

A brief moment of insanity.
Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sometimes when you look back on a situation, you realize it wasn’t all you thought it was. Someone walked into your life, you fell in love, or did you? Maybe it was only a childish infatuation, or maybe it was a brief moment of insanity.

The BFF told me about Il Postino’s new girlfriend today, and I felt nothing. It’s funny how I always used to find myself running back to him, for some reason, thinking it would work out differently the second third fourth fifth time. And now, I can’t think of a single reason why I’d ever want him back.

No matter what.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010

when the past comes knocking

As it was.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010

lipstick stained coffee

Since the first day you reached out to me, I kept searching for hints of the relationship you kept from me. I couldn’t see it in the description of your morning routine or your weekend recaps, but I could feel it in your absent admission to the contrary. I planned to keep quiet and let this fade out, as I do with everything else I feel isn’t worth fighting for. But this was you. And to me, you have always been worth it. So I finally got up the nerve to say,

Are you seeing anyone?

I knew the answer before I even asked the question. I should have asked you this in the beginning, but I convinced myself that you wouldn’t hide something like that from me. Except you did. And while you justified it by not doing anything more than correspond back and forth, the line was already crossed when you first contacted me, and you’ve been on the other side of it ever since.

At least I know that you didn’t just dismiss me as some reckless fling you had when we were younger. I can’t be mad at you for wanting to talk to me, but what was the point of this, other than resurrecting all these memories I haven’t thought about in years? It’s like you just came back to remind me that you still can’t do this. Even if you didn’t know what you were looking to get out of this in the beginning, you made the choice not to tell me about her for months. What did you want from me?

You and I will always have some unfinished business, but eventually, it’ll be as it was. You’ll forget about me. I’ll forget about you.

Absence.
Monday, April 26, 2010

absence polaroid

You’ve been out of my life for years, but somehow your absence is more tangible now than it ever was. How can I miss something I never had?

Nostalgia.
Sunday, April 25, 2010

and suddenly i felt nothing fight club

Well, I’d say I’ve successfully fulfilled my nostalgia quota for the week year.

This trip down memory lane ended at my old friend/ex-love’s 30th birthday party last night. It’s strange to see someone you’ve spent so much of your life with and feel nothing… And to think of someone else you didn’t spend nearly enough time with and feel everything.

Everything changed.
Saturday, April 24, 2010

everything changed nothing is different

(image via thewordsalloverme)

Time machine.
Friday, April 23, 2010

you make me wish i had a time machine

(image via the beholder)

Screwed.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010

what you don't know can't hurt you. it's what you suspect that screws everything up.

Looks like rain tonight.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010

it looks like rain tonight

Yesterday, there was an unexpected venti iced sugar-free vanilla soy latte waiting for me at my desk when I got to work in the morning. Christine treated me out to pizza and beer at Pizza Port for dinner. And then I ended the night at an amazing $10 Temper Trap show with my girls.

Today was nothing like yesterday.

(image via thresca)

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