mayanrocks » quotes
Opposites Attract.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017

how i met your mother - the olive theory gif

new girl - the hike - raisins - the olive theory gif new girl - the hike - raisins - the olive theory gif

Bumble bio update: Must hate smoked BBQ beef ribs.

Casual.
Sunday, July 31, 2016

hulu - casual - magpie gif hulu - casual - magpie gif
hulu - casual - magpie gif hulu - casual - magpie gif

I just binge watched two seasons of Casual, and I can’t believe this lady is only supposed to be five years older than me.

In her defense, I get carded all the time. Also, some dude coaching youth track at the park during lunch last week asked me if I was in high school! Sir, if you’re trying to get me to join your track team, I’m in my thirties. And more importantly, I don’t run.

Hybrid Theory.
Monday, June 20, 2016

bones - the movie in the making - linkin park papa roach hoobastank gif

I’m pretty sure the victim in this episode stole my CD binder circa 2001.

Clutter.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015

criminal minds - till death do us part - clutter or the constant presence of a messy room is often a sign of depression

We were watching TV at my mom’s house over the holiday, and right after they showed this part, my aunt paused it, turned to me with a concerned look on her face, and was all like, “You know you can talk to me, right???” I meannnn.

#1 How dare you?
#2 This explains so much.

#previewpopcorn.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015

the mindy project #previewpopcorn

Further evidence that Mindy and I were separated at birth.

In the End.
Monday, November 30, 2015

lang leav - in the end

Spoiler Alert.
Monday, November 9, 2015

how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif

Preach!

I caught up on seven episodes of How to Get Away with Murder with Pammie over the weekend. I’m dying to know what happens next, but I never watch this show by myself because I get too scared. I can’t wait till I’m home for Thanksgiving to find out who shot Annalise, so someone please come over when the new episode airs this Thursday!

Spoiler Alert: There will be frozen salmon from Costco (it’s the only thing I keep stocked in my fridge because holiday weight) and me with no pants on.

Ice Cold.
Sunday, October 25, 2015

our beer is as cold as your ex's heart - wood handcrafted pizza

WARNING: This beer is cold af, you guys (@ Wood Handcrafted Pizza)

Bet.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015

the office kelly kapoor juice cleanse

…or me on a juice cleanse.

I’m doing it partly in preparation for all the BBQ and bad decisions I’ll be making in Austin next week, but mostly because I bet Anthony that I could lose twenty pounds by the time we went to ACL or I’d pay for his BBQ at Franklin. These last five pounds can’t be zumba’d off in a week, so I made a game-time decision to bring my juicer out of retirement yesterday.

I can’t wait to go on vacation! And also eat solid food again.

ACL.
Saturday, August 1, 2015

mindy kaling - austin - husband gif mindy kaling - austin - husband gif
mindy kaling - austin - husband gif mindy kaling - austin - husband gif
mindy kaling - austin - husband gif mindy kaling - austin - husband gif
mindy kaling - austin - husband gif

…or me in exactly two months. Austin City Limits, here I come!

What else should I add to my ACL to-do list???

Sometimes.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015

sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life

Penn.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015

orange is the new black - pennsatucky - i don't have rage. i'm just sad.

Same.

The Instagram Diet.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015

amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet
amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet

…or my belated attempt at getting that summer bods ready for Cabo.

10 more days!!!

Venn Diagram.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015

amindofmadness:

Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.

In the venn diagram of men I’ve been involved with, these two qualities never overlap! :p

modern family gays vs lesbians venn diagram schooled

Fact.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015

mistresses - emails don't paginate gif
mistresses - emails don't paginate gif

…or me when I get an email asking how I’m doing.

I either respond with 27 pages or I don’t respond at all. There is no in-between.

Also, my mom got me hooked on Mistresses, and Joss is my spirit animal, obviously.

You Belong Here.
Sunday, May 3, 2015

you belong here - mosaic - billboard

If you don’t belong, don’t be long (@ Hollywood Blvd & La Brea Ave)

Things Will Be Fine.
Monday, April 27, 2015

dinosaur coffee things will be fine

I like my coffee with a side of reassurance (@ Dinosaur Coffee)

Queue.
Sunday, March 15, 2015

I have a growing queue of things I know will make you laugh, and I don’t know where to put them.

A Working List of Things I Will Never Tell You
Truth.
Sunday, March 15, 2015

When the conversation is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else.

Ready.
Monday, March 9, 2015

i'm at that stage in my life where i'm ready to get a dog but i'm not sure who will take care of it

For So Long.
Monday, March 9, 2015

kurt halsey - for so long i have harbored all of this

Currently.
Saturday, February 14, 2015

ron swanson - there has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food - parks and rec gif

1,000,000,000/1,000,000.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015

the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif
the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif
the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif

Accurate.

Relationship Goals.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015

i would get onto the 405 at 5pm for you etsy card valentine's day

Character Flaw.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015

girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
I Loved You.
Sunday, October 26, 2014

i loved you then i googled you - adam mars

…then I googled you (@ Culver City Art District)

Death is Coming.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014

modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif

I usually enjoy being on my back, but this is getting ridic.

I’ve been living off muscle relaxers, pain killers and salon pas for the past three weeks. The cause is still unknown, but I’m pretty sure I went too hard at the Paul McCartney show! Ha.

I’ve been stressed out at work lately, and the doctor thinks I might be carrying the stress in my back. If only he could write me a doctor’s note forbidding me to work overtime. It’s the least he can do, since he won’t prescribe me more vicodin!

The Point.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014

new girl - dice - the whole point of going on dates is to fall in love and have a relationship
new girl - dice - the point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. it's like burning fossil fuels. or seeing a therapist.
Baby Got Back.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014

new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
LA.
Sunday, September 7, 2014

the thing i love most about la is the people. and the thing i hate most about la is the people. - wrdsmth

Needs.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014

real housewives of new jersey - a woman only needs two things: dunkin donuts and oral sex

LA opened its first Dunkin Donuts today, so I’m halfway there, you guys!

Currently.
Thursday, August 28, 2014

adventure time jake because i'm sick

I obviously went too hard this past weekend. Somebody soup me.

Stand Up.
Monday, July 28, 2014

The worst thing is watching someone drown and not being able to convince them that they can save themselves by just standing up

Quote of the Day.
Sunday, July 27, 2014

lana del rey - throat cut gif

If a man ever laid a finger on me like that, HE WOULD BE DEAD.

Let Go.
Sunday, July 27, 2014

let go or be dragged

Feeling.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant

The realest thing I’ve ever read.

Summer.
Saturday, June 21, 2014

what is going on? is it some kind of solstice? - marnie, girls hbo

Apartment Hunters.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014

broad city - apartment hunters - where's the bathroom? where isn't the bathroom?

The power went out in my apartment building again last week! I was already running late, and I had to go back upstairs in the dark to tell the maintenance guy to manually open the garage gate so I could get to fucking work already. This has happened three times in less than two months! And these are only the incidents that I know of, because I spend less than 50% of my time in this apartment (unless a burglar is reading this, in which case I’m home all the time. Plus I always keep my sharpest pair of fabric scissors within reach. And I’m not afraid to cut you.)

Once I get my new car situation settled, I’m moving out of this overpriced shit hole and torching it on yelp!

Binge.
Sunday, June 8, 2014

orange is the new black - you can’t blame the wolf. lamb’s delicious. that’s smart eating. gif

I may or may not have binge-watched the entire new season of Orange is the New Black this past weekend.

Wonder.
Sunday, June 8, 2014

wrdsmth los angeles graffiti

Chance.
Friday, May 23, 2014

if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, let it.

Don’t You Dare.
Thursday, May 22, 2014

new girl - don't tell me i wore my raw denim for nothing. don't you dare tell me that! dance gif

…or when your plans get canceled because the power went out in your apartment building, and your car is stuck in the sub garage. Again.

Risk.
Monday, May 19, 2014

if it's still in your mind, it is worth taking the risk

Currently.
Thursday, May 15, 2014

american horror story - bitchcraft - it's too hot. my frickin' vagina's sweating - madison

You.
Thursday, May 15, 2014

i can't stop thinking about you

Rack City.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014

victorious dirty boob joke victorious dirty boob joke

Same.

Daily Haiku on Love.
Friday, May 9, 2014

tylerknott:

I need more of you,
do you not need more of me?
Is just this enough?
When your coworker doesn’t even recognize you…
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

new girl - nick miller gif - i mean i'm not doing squats or anything. i'm just trying to eat less donuts.

Salvation.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

she imagines him imagining her. this is her salvation.

The Awful Truth.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

afadthatlastsforever:

“One day, whether you
are 14,
28
or 65

you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find—

is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.”

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