mayanrocks » quotes
Opposites Attract.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017

how i met your mother - the olive theory gif

new girl - the hike - raisins - the olive theory gif new girl - the hike - raisins - the olive theory gif

Bumble bio update: Must hate smoked BBQ beef ribs.

Casual.
Sunday, July 31, 2016

hulu - casual - magpie gif hulu - casual - magpie gif
hulu - casual - magpie gif hulu - casual - magpie gif

I just binge watched two seasons of Casual, and I can’t believe this lady is only supposed to be five years older than me.

In her defense, I get carded all the time. Also, some dude coaching youth track at the park during lunch last week asked me if I was in high school! Sir, if you’re trying to get me to join your track team, I’m in my thirties. And more importantly, I don’t run.

Hybrid Theory.
Monday, June 20, 2016

bones - the movie in the making - linkin park papa roach hoobastank gif

I’m pretty sure the victim in this episode stole my CD binder circa 2001.

Clutter.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015

criminal minds - till death do us part - clutter or the constant presence of a messy room is often a sign of depression

We were watching TV at my mom’s house over the holiday, and right after they showed this part, my aunt paused it, turned to me with a concerned look on her face, and was all like, “You know you can talk to me, right???” I meannnn.

#1 How dare you?
#2 This explains so much.

#previewpopcorn.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015

the mindy project #previewpopcorn

Further evidence that Mindy and I were separated at birth.

In the End.
Monday, November 30, 2015

lang leav - in the end

Spoiler Alert.
Monday, November 9, 2015

how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif

Preach!

I caught up on seven episodes of How to Get Away with Murder with Pammie over the weekend. I’m dying to know what happens next, but I never watch this show by myself because I get too scared. I can’t wait till I’m home for Thanksgiving to find out who shot Annalise, so someone please come over when the new episode airs this Thursday!

Spoiler Alert: There will be frozen salmon from Costco (it’s the only thing I keep stocked in my fridge because holiday weight) and me with no pants on.

Ice Cold.
Sunday, October 25, 2015

our beer is as cold as your ex's heart - wood handcrafted pizza

WARNING: This beer is cold af, you guys (@ Wood Handcrafted Pizza)

Bet.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015

the office kelly kapoor juice cleanse

…or me on a juice cleanse.

I’m doing it partly in preparation for all the BBQ and bad decisions I’ll be making in Austin next week, but mostly because I bet Anthony that I could lose twenty pounds by the time we went to ACL or I’d pay for his BBQ at Franklin. These last five pounds can’t be zumba’d off in a week, so I made a game-time decision to bring my juicer out of retirement yesterday.

I can’t wait to go on vacation! And also eat solid food again.

ACL.
Saturday, August 1, 2015

mindy kaling - austin - husband gif mindy kaling - austin - husband gif
mindy kaling - austin - husband gif mindy kaling - austin - husband gif
mindy kaling - austin - husband gif mindy kaling - austin - husband gif
mindy kaling - austin - husband gif

…or me in exactly two months. Austin City Limits, here I come!

What else should I add to my ACL to-do list???

Sometimes.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015

sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life

Penn.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015

orange is the new black - pennsatucky - i don't have rage. i'm just sad.

Same.

The Instagram Diet.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015

amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet
amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet

…or my belated attempt at getting that summer bods ready for Cabo.

10 more days!!!

Venn Diagram.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015

amindofmadness:

Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.

In the venn diagram of men I’ve been involved with, these two qualities never overlap! :p

modern family gays vs lesbians venn diagram schooled

Fact.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015

mistresses - emails don't paginate gif
mistresses - emails don't paginate gif

…or me when I get an email asking how I’m doing.

I either respond with 27 pages or I don’t respond at all. There is no in-between.

Also, my mom got me hooked on Mistresses, and Joss is my spirit animal, obviously.

You Belong Here.
Sunday, May 3, 2015

you belong here - mosaic - billboard

If you don’t belong, don’t be long (@ Hollywood Blvd & La Brea Ave)

Things Will Be Fine.
Monday, April 27, 2015

dinosaur coffee things will be fine

I like my coffee with a side of reassurance (@ Dinosaur Coffee)

Queue.
Sunday, March 15, 2015

I have a growing queue of things I know will make you laugh, and I don’t know where to put them.

A Working List of Things I Will Never Tell You
Truth.
Sunday, March 15, 2015

When the conversation is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else.

Ready.
Monday, March 9, 2015

i'm at that stage in my life where i'm ready to get a dog but i'm not sure who will take care of it

For So Long.
Monday, March 9, 2015

kurt halsey - for so long i have harbored all of this

Currently.
Saturday, February 14, 2015

ron swanson - there has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food - parks and rec gif

1,000,000,000/1,000,000.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015

the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif
the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif
the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif

Accurate.

Relationship Goals.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015

i would get onto the 405 at 5pm for you etsy card valentine's day

Character Flaw.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015

girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
I Loved You.
Sunday, October 26, 2014

i loved you then i googled you - adam mars

…then I googled you (@ Culver City Art District)

Death is Coming.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014

modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif

I usually enjoy being on my back, but this is getting ridic.

I’ve been living off muscle relaxers, pain killers and salon pas for the past three weeks. The cause is still unknown, but I’m pretty sure I went too hard at the Paul McCartney show! Ha.

I’ve been stressed out at work lately, and the doctor thinks I might be carrying the stress in my back. If only he could write me a doctor’s note forbidding me to work overtime. It’s the least he can do, since he won’t prescribe me more vicodin!

The Point.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014

new girl - dice - the whole point of going on dates is to fall in love and have a relationship
new girl - dice - the point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. it's like burning fossil fuels. or seeing a therapist.
Baby Got Back.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014

new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
LA.
Sunday, September 7, 2014

the thing i love most about la is the people. and the thing i hate most about la is the people. - wrdsmth

Needs.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014

real housewives of new jersey - a woman only needs two things: dunkin donuts and oral sex

LA opened its first Dunkin Donuts today, so I’m halfway there, you guys!

Currently.
Thursday, August 28, 2014

adventure time jake because i'm sick

I obviously went too hard this past weekend. Somebody soup me.

Stand Up.
Monday, July 28, 2014

The worst thing is watching someone drown and not being able to convince them that they can save themselves by just standing up

Quote of the Day.
Sunday, July 27, 2014

lana del rey - throat cut gif

If a man ever laid a finger on me like that, HE WOULD BE DEAD.

Let Go.
Sunday, July 27, 2014

let go or be dragged

Feeling.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant

The realest thing I’ve ever read.

Summer.
Saturday, June 21, 2014

what is going on? is it some kind of solstice? - marnie, girls hbo

Apartment Hunters.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014

broad city - apartment hunters - where's the bathroom? where isn't the bathroom?

The power went out in my apartment building again last week! I was already running late, and I had to go back upstairs in the dark to tell the maintenance guy to manually open the garage gate so I could get to fucking work already. This has happened three times in less than two months! And these are only the incidents that I know of, because I spend less than 50% of my time in this apartment (unless a burglar is reading this, in which case I’m home all the time. Plus I always keep my sharpest pair of fabric scissors within reach. And I’m not afraid to cut you.)

Once I get my new car situation settled, I’m moving out of this overpriced shit hole and torching it on yelp!

Binge.
Sunday, June 8, 2014

orange is the new black - you can’t blame the wolf. lamb’s delicious. that’s smart eating. gif

I may or may not have binge-watched the entire new season of Orange is the New Black this past weekend.

Wonder.
Sunday, June 8, 2014

wrdsmth los angeles graffiti

Chance.
Friday, May 23, 2014

if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, let it.

Don’t You Dare.
Thursday, May 22, 2014

new girl - don't tell me i wore my raw denim for nothing. don't you dare tell me that! dance gif

…or when your plans get canceled because the power went out in your apartment building, and your car is stuck in the sub garage. Again.

Risk.
Monday, May 19, 2014

if it's still in your mind, it is worth taking the risk

Currently.
Thursday, May 15, 2014

american horror story - bitchcraft - it's too hot. my frickin' vagina's sweating - madison

You.
Thursday, May 15, 2014

i can't stop thinking about you

Rack City.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014

victorious dirty boob joke victorious dirty boob joke

Same.

Daily Haiku on Love.
Friday, May 9, 2014

tylerknott:

I need more of you,
do you not need more of me?
Is just this enough?
When your coworker doesn’t even recognize you…
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

new girl - nick miller gif - i mean i'm not doing squats or anything. i'm just trying to eat less donuts.

Salvation.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

she imagines him imagining her. this is her salvation.

The Awful Truth.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

afadthatlastsforever:

“One day, whether you
are 14,
28
or 65

you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find—

is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.”

Fav.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014

There are a million ways to bleed. But you are by far my favorite.

– Iain S. Thomas, The Scars You Love
Monday.
Monday, May 5, 2014

kim richards - but i don't want to gif - real housewives of beverly hills

We will be a novel someday.
Saturday, May 3, 2014

merelyamadness:

“You are a sentence
and I am a semicolon
begging you to go on.”
Death’s Embrace.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014

the mindy project - mindy mixer - kitchen oven fire

Danny, you know my plan in an emergency is just to count to ten and wait for death’s embrace.

Further evidence that The Mindy Project is actually about my life!

Stay High.
Friday, April 25, 2014

Tove Lo – Habits (Hippie Sabotage Remix)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Can’t go home alone again
Need someone to numb the pain
You’re gone and I’ve got to stay high
All the time to keep you off my mind

The Perfect Date.
Friday, April 25, 2014

miss congeniality - describe the perfect date - all you need is a light jacket - april 25

Always reblog.

When your ex invites you to his baby shower…
Thursday, April 24, 2014

kanye west oh hell no gif

orange is the new black - alex vause - are you fucking kidding me gif

Seriously, dude???

Tuesday.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014

broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif
broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif

Accurate.

Futile.
Sunday, March 30, 2014

shadow-writer:

The act of trying to forget someone is a futile one. In order to do so, you are forced to remember. It’s like dieting. Like trying your hardest not to think about food, while weighing every ounce and counting every calorie.

I’m terrible at both.

WRDSMTH.
Saturday, March 29, 2014

wrdsmth - i know i don't need to say it, but i always have and forever will

<3 (@ Poinsettia & Melrose)

Filling the Gaps.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014

what are you filling the gaps of your heart with?

DIY furniture, vodka, and bread pudding.

Unsolicited facts about me.
Saturday, March 15, 2014

modern family - a kiss on the neck opens all kinds of doors

In the End.
Saturday, March 1, 2014

I suppose in the end it’s almost too easy to look back and say what you should have done, how you might have changed things. What’s harder—what’s much, much harder—is to accept what you actually did do.

Get Through.
Friday, February 28, 2014

At home, at weekends or whatever, it wells up and I can’t handle it. But most of the time I can just about handle it, you sort of have to get through the day.

– Paul McCartney
Part of Me.
Thursday, February 27, 2014

katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand
katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand
Alcove.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014

alcove cafe and bakery secret drawer

I wanted to tell you all my secrets, but you became one of them instead.

There’s a cafe in Los Feliz that has a table with drawers full of secrets inside. I didn’t leave one of my own tonight, partly because neither of us had a pen, but mostly because I was afraid someone I knew would find my note and recognize my impeccable penmanship.

The Definition of True Love.
Monday, February 24, 2014

oitnb - i threw my pie for you - crazy eyes

But would you throw your donut for me, be honest.

Regret.
Monday, February 17, 2014

You can't change what's done, you can't go back in time, you can't try to change the hurt feelings or mend the broken hearts. All you can do is learn from your mistakes, and hope you will never regret anything as much as you do now.

Toxic.
Monday, February 17, 2014

not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring - daniell koepke

Twisted Logic.
Monday, February 17, 2014

twisted logic

Everyday.
Monday, February 17, 2014

i think about you everyday. asshole.

Random.
Thursday, February 13, 2014

glee - gwyneth sexy everybody's got a random

One of my randoms who I haven’t seen or responded to in five years hit me up late last night. Who does that??? Please just forget about me, just like you seem to have forgotten that you have a girlfriend and babies at home.

I’m so sick of these fucks.

Paralysis.
Saturday, February 8, 2014

young the giant at the hollywood palladium

Young the Giant – Paralysis

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

And lately I’ve been thinking
I’m not feeling anything at all
Will I survive in the dead of night?
And now the lights are fading faster
Save me from my disaster

Soft Spot.
Monday, February 3, 2014

soft spot in my heart

Perhaps.
Sunday, February 2, 2014

Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again.

– Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
In the end.
Sunday, February 2, 2014

in the end only three things matter

Grow.
Sunday, February 2, 2014

grow where you are planted

Good advice from the birthday girl who gave me this print last Christmas ♥

Forget.
Sunday, February 2, 2014

I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget.

– Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot
Don’t.
Saturday, February 1, 2014

don't promise when you're happy. don't reply when you're angry. don't decide when you're sad.

Gravity.
Thursday, January 30, 2014

Every morning, I wake up and forget just for a second that it happened. But once my eyes open, it buries me like a landslide of sharp, sad rocks. Once my eyes open, I’m heavy, like there’s too much gravity on my heart.

– Sarah Ockler, Twenty Boy Summer
Still.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

i still love the people i've loved, even if i cross the street to avoid them. - uma thurman, w magazine

Crumb.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Why don't you place just one crumb of basic human compassion on this fat-free muffin of sociopathic detachment? See how it tastes. - Girls Quote

The First Time.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.

– Maya Angelou
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