mayanrocks » quotes
Waiting.
Friday, February 8, 2013

scandal - olivia be like waiting for fitz - olitz

BRB dying.

Impulsive.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013

new girl impulsive cece nick new girl impulsive cece nick
new girl impulsive cece nick new girl impulsive cece nick
Homesick.
Monday, February 4, 2013

the avett brothers homesick

Empty.
Sunday, February 3, 2013

silver linings playbook empty

Silver Linings Playbook. Loved, loved, loved.

My Mistake.
Friday, February 1, 2013
new girl - nick and jess going down new girl - nick and jess going down
Scandal.
Thursday, January 17, 2013

scandal rose garden scandal rose garden
scandal rose garden scandal rose garden

OLIVIA: I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you. I can’t breathe because I’m waiting for you. You own me, you control me, I belong to you…

FITZ: You own me! You control me. I belong to you. You think I don’t want to be a better man? You think that I don’t want to dedicate myself to my marriage? You don’t think I want to be honorable? To be the man you voted for? I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the love of my life. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep without you. I wait for you, I watch for you. I exist for you. If I could escape all of this and run away with you? There’s no Sally and Thomas here. You’re nobody’s victim, Liv. I belong to you. We’re in this together.

I stayed home from work for a couple of days this week… partly because I have the flu, but mostly because I wanted to catch up on Scandal!

I may be a little late to this party, but how awesome is this show???

Layers.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012

i will properly name my psd layers - photoshop - quotes

I’m going to file this under ‘lies I tell myself’.

Pact.
Thursday, December 13, 2012

the mindy project pact gif the mindy project pact gif
the mindy project pact gif the mindy project pact gif
Fertilize Me, Los Angeles!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012

new girl eggs new girl eggs new girl eggs

Apparently, by the time a woman hits 30, she loses about 90% of her eggs.

This may be the red devil in my belly speaking, but who wants to go halfsies on a baby two-pack of First Response fertility tests???

Sleep Alone.
Sunday, December 2, 2012

Two Door Cinema Club – Sleep Alone

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And I don’t know
If in the morning I will be here and if so
Let it be known
That I was worthy
I was worthy
I was worthy
I was…

Big Girl.
Monday, October 15, 2012

new girl big girl walking dead gif
new girl big girl walking dead gif

When I went to my sister’s house in the OC to watch The Walking Dead premiere, I didn’t really think about having to drive an hour back home by myself. Or going home to an empty house past midnight… Yikes!

Fluffer.
Thursday, October 4, 2012

new girl - fluffer - are you happy now? now i have to get to know the guy i'm sleeping with - nick jess sam

I hate when that happens.

Enjoying-Slash-Tolerating It.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012

via vulture.com:

  33 Facts You Learn About Mindy Kaling by Hanging Around Her

15. Right now, Kaling is single “and enjoying-slash-tolerating it,” she says. “It seems like when I have a serious relationship with someone, despite my schedule and everything else, they find a time to pursue me and date me. So I have this maybe naïve thing of, like, ‘Well, they’ll just find me.’ You know? ‘They will figure it out and find me and we will work it out.’”

16. It’s a belief that comes from how her parents met: In Nigeria, where her father was the architect designing the wing of the hospital her mother was working in. “She didn’t plan it, it just happened,” says Kaling. “She moved to Nigeria to be a doctor and was just living there and my dad met her and he pursued her. And as my grandmother always said, the best relationships are the ones where the guy likes the girl a little bit more than the girl likes the guy. So great, I’m busy. I’m doing something I love. And if someone really likes me, they will come and find me. I don’t mean that like, ‘Oh come find me.’ Like I’m this little daisy and I’m not a strong woman. I mean that if someone is willing, and they see what my schedule is, and they are really that interested, we’ll find a way. I don’t have to change that much.”

Absence.
Friday, September 28, 2012

tyler knott typewriter series #181 absence

The Mindy Project.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012

the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif
the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif

Evidence that The Mindy Project is actually about my life.

GPOY.
Sunday, September 2, 2012

happy endings - brad and jane - destroy myself at the bar

I Will Wait.
Monday, August 27, 2012

Mumford & Sons – I Will Wait

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And I will wait
I will wait for you

Hello.
Sunday, August 26, 2012

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

- Paulo Coelho
I’m Out!
Friday, August 24, 2012

fuck you you're cool half baked

This post has been sitting in my drafts for the past year or two (or five), and today I finally get to publish this shiznittle bam snip snap sack!

Too Short.
Thursday, August 23, 2012

john burroughs quote

No time! There’s never any time!

Decide.
Thursday, August 23, 2012

The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

- J. Pierpont Morgan
Second Row, Far Left.
Friday, August 17, 2012

celeste and jesse forever movie

Mr. Little Jeans – Rescue Song (RAC Remix)

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Dessert and drinks at D Bar followed by an encore of Celeste and Jesse Forever with the original Celeste and Jesse Chel and Anthony last night!

When Anthony texted that he was waiting for us in the second row, far left, he meant in the theater that was actually showing the movie, and not the one that Chel and I were sitting in for five minutes before we realized that what we were in the wrong theater! Ha. We always seem to get lost when we’re together…

‘Sup.
Friday, August 17, 2012

the one with monica's thunder joey acting young sup

12:48 PM me: ugh i’m sooo over this fifty shades ppt
they keep making changes!
12:49 PM Jesse: sup with the wack ppt presentation sup
me: lolol

Chatting with you is the only thing I’m going to miss about work! It puts a smile on my face when you send me nick@nite texts and pictures of your 22″ hot dog, so try not to forget about me after I blow this popsicle stand!

Elsewhere.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012

But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. That’s life, isn’t it?

- Gabrielle Zevin, Elsewhere
The End.
Sunday, August 12, 2012

life begins at the end of your comfort zone

New Position.
Sunday, August 12, 2012

will and grace and vince and nadine - Last night, I accepted a new position. Then, after my date left, I got a call about a new job. - Karen Walker

I’m officially the new Web Designer for Skechers! LA, here I come… Yikes!

Souvenir Shop.
Monday, August 6, 2012

everything is illuminated movie - the collector

You are a souvenir shop, where he goes to remember how much people miss him when he is gone.

Seat’s Taken.
Thursday, August 2, 2012

bluntcard bitch

Surely, our bitchy exclusivity will transcend death.

True Story.
Thursday, August 2, 2012

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I’m just getting more awesome. Barney HIMYM

Laws of Modern Man.
Thursday, August 2, 2012

laws of modern man tumblr blog

I’m almost exclusively attracted to these men.

Cough Syrup.
Sunday, July 29, 2012

I had my camera in one hand and my Texas-sized maple bacon donut in the other! Um, best day evs. More videos of Young the Giant at the OC Fair here.

This is Krumping.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping

I have exactly one week to learn these dance moves before my grandma’s birthday party.

Just so you know.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012

robert stojanowski

Alive and Unfinished.
Thursday, July 19, 2012

heartworm, n.
a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

Happiness.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012

don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose - c.s. lewis

I’m doing it wrong.

Balance.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012

exercise jar

If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.

I stole this idea from Pinterest to put a dollar in a jar every time you go to the gym as an incentive to work out more. I picked one up from Ikea a week and a half ago, and it’s still empty! Although now that I think about it, I should really put $5 in it for every hour I was hiking that god awful mountain last Sunday.

I feel like I’m always losing the same ten pounds, because I do really well for a good chunk of time (usually around 8 weeks and when $407 is at stake—I’m just throwing random numbers out there). But soon after I remember how much I love food and hate exercising. I have yet to find a balance between the two.

A friend once told me, “I don’t live to eat. I eat to live.” At least I think that’s what he said… I could barely hear him over the crunching in my mouth as I polished off my carne asada chips! Ha.

Almost.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012

you and me and never us; a complicated series of almost interactions

Surviving.
Monday, July 9, 2012

All or nothing was bullshit. It never worked out that way. Life was all about taking what you could get when you could get it and surviving when it wasn’t enough.

- Maya Banks
Weather Advisory.
Sunday, July 8, 2012

potato chip rock san diego

Exercise in the morning before your body knows what it’s doing.

Oh, my body knew damn well what it was doing.

I said the last time was the last time, and I’d never go back… yet there I was, at an unholy hour on a Sunday, back at Mount Woodson with Shi and Pammie!

I’m pretty sure the sun tried to kill us all today. Worst five hours EVAR!

Spill.
Friday, June 29, 2012

tyler knott typewriter series

Fixin’.
Friday, June 29, 2012

Walk the Moon – Fixin’

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The salt in my eyes as I clear the border
Imaginary lines shatter and shimmer
I get to you to ask you a question
I get to you to find out for certain
Are you fixin’ to come with me?
Are you fixin’ to fix me?

Quesadilla.
Thursday, June 21, 2012

Walk the Moon – Quesadilla

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And I want you
I want you
I still do

Flipping Pinpoint.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012

safety not guaranteed movie gif

Mark Duplass – Big Machine (Acoustic Version)

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Maybe I’m wrong and all that you get is what you see
Maybe I’m right and there’s something out there to believe

Hooked.
Monday, June 18, 2012

himym hooked i just can't be with you right now

ROBIN: She’s got you on the hook.
TED: What? I’m not on the hook.
ROBIN: Ted, “right now” is the classic on-the-hook catchphrase.
MARSHALL: Yup. “Right now” paints a picture of some sort of magical future time when everything will work out, but the truth is, that will never happen.
ROBIN: You like having Henrietta around for the same reason that Tiffany likes having you around—it’s a nice little ego boost. She’s stringing you along. She’s not committing to you, but she’s keeping you around just in case, like an old can of chili in the pantry.

Um, who’s buying canned chili and not eating it immediately???

Rejection.
Saturday, June 16, 2012

happy endings - it's a farmer's v

I can barely move my arms after working out with Jesse. I have blisters on my feet from yesterday’s hike with Shi. And while I wore pants, a long-sleeved shirt and a hat to protect my skin, the small area of my chest that was exposed got sunburned.

I think my body is rejecting me.

Guess what, you guys?
Friday, June 15, 2012

new girl - guess what you guys my shoes are filled with blood

That 4-hour hike up Mount Woodson was brutal, but I somehow made it to the top and back down again with a little determination and a lot of blood in my shoes.

Dream.
Friday, June 15, 2012

you were in my dream last night and i kissed you right on your goddamn face

Tough.
Monday, June 11, 2012

how i met your mother - the rebound girl - it gets pretty tough

Barnito Supreme speaks the truth.

New.
Sunday, June 10, 2012

know when to give up and have a margarita quote 8x10 print

New prints are up in my Etsy shop!

The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Loved this book in highschool.
Love the Imagine Dragons song in the trailer.
Can’t wait to see the movie!

Demons.
Monday, June 4, 2012

Imagine Dragons – Demons

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They say it’s what you make
I say it’s up to fate
It’s woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Desire.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012

i desire the things which will destroy me in the end - sylvia plath
You can’t save a damsel if she loves her distress…

Anna Sun.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Walk the Moon – Anna Sun

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Firecrackers in the east, my car parked south
Your hands on my cheeks, your shoulder in my mouth
I was up against the wall on the west mezzanine
We rattle this town, we rattle this scene
Oh, Anna Sun

Cleanse.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012

happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide
happy endings penny hartz cleanse suicide

I was roped into participating in an office juice cleanse. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and it kind of feels like the first day of school. Minus the fact that you get to eat solid foods that day. I’m pretty sure we’re all going to hate each other by EOD.

The Injury.
Sunday, May 13, 2012

the office the injury

Most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me, it’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill, and it clamped down on my foot… that’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.

When I woke up to the smell of bacon this morning, I was thrilled—until I realized it was the smell of my thigh burning.

I fell asleep with my laptop on my bed last night, and Macbook Pros are notorious for running ridiculously hot. But since I’m a heavy sleeper who needs three alarms to wake up, I didn’t even flinch when the power adapter came in contact with my bare thigh and gave me a crazy second-degree burn! It’s pretty gnarly, and I can’t wear pants for the next week or so.

Oh, well. I don’t like wearing pants anyway.

Asian Jess.
Thursday, May 10, 2012

new girl asian jess new girl asian jess

I get that a lot.

Crazy.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012

new girl - hide my crazy

I’m probably not going to reblog New Girl gifs for the rest of the night. But also… I might. 

White Fang.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012

new girl white fang new girl white fang
new girl white fang new girl white fang
Passion.
Friday, May 4, 2012

new girl passion

RUSSELL: Look, Jess, I’ve already done the crazy, explosive passion thing. When I was with Ouli, it was like edging closer and closer to a wood chipper… I’m not looking for that anymore.
JESS: I understand. But I am. And I want passion. Even if it’s harder and hurts more.

Sandwiches and Sex.
Friday, April 27, 2012
new girl sandwiches and sex new girl sandwiches and sex

Sandwiches and sex? I want that.

Nick Miller is my soulmate.

Sports Fish.
Sunday, April 22, 2012

A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. It’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper—it’s you. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.

- Steve Harvey, Think Like a Man

Mr. Hightower speaks an insane amount of truth.

I have found my new spiritual leader. Teach me your ways, oh wise one.

Distance.
Thursday, April 19, 2012

I’ve eased up on the concerts lately to save money for that trip to Outside Lands! Now that I’m not going anymore, I regret not buying tickets to see Jason Mraz & Christina Perri. They still have tickets available, but none of them are in the pit!

There are two things you should know about me:

  1. I don’t do nosebleeds.
  2. I always find a way to score awesome seats. Even if I have to sleep outside a Ritmo Latino to get them. Just kidding. I haven’t done that since I was 17.

Christina Perri – Distance (feat. Jason Mraz)

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How long can we keep this up, up, up?
And I keep waiting…

Open Flame.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012

we're all drawn to the warmth of a true connection, but don't stand too close to an open flame; someone will surely get burned. - revenge

Mediocre.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.

The Wrong Place.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

Via Slowly, But Shirley:

the office stress relief pam

He said that you told him how much you love me.

About how you feel when I walk in a room.

About how you’ve never doubted for a second that I’m the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.

And I guess he had never felt that way with my mom, even at their best.

There’s usually a scene in all my favorite shows that never fails to get me all choked up… like this scene from The Office where they explain how Jim’s feelings about Pam is what caused Pam’s dad to decide to leave her mom. Sometimes getting a taste of how things should be makes you realize you’re in the wrong place…

Resurrection Sunday.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

I wanted to have red puffy paint blood dripping from the easter eggs, but I thought the bloody zombie bunny was morbid enough for my favorite 8-year-old. Maybe next year.

zombie easter basket

Christ promised a resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something different in mind.

- Hershel, The Walking Dead
Sad trail.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

someecard we are so hilarious

Quote of the night:

Nobody needs to see your belly button trail, happy or sad!

I finally had dinner with my favorite b’s last night! It’s so hard to get everyone together when we’re all so busy planning imaginary weddings on pinterest taking care of babies, studying for CPA exams, training for marathons, playing soccer, and testing “social experiments” ;) Some of us don’t even have time to shower! LOL!

Promise.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012

happy endings dave and penny

DAVE: You might not meet not somebody tonight, but you will meet someone.
PENNY: You promise?
DAVE: Yes… as long as you promise to stop slobbering all over the champagne.
PENNY: I can’t promise that.

Sweats.
Saturday, March 31, 2012

never leave the house in sweats

I’m screwed.

The Kerkovich Way.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012

happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex
happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex
happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex
happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex

Alex Kerkovich is officially living my life.

Wake up, slut.
Monday, March 26, 2012

happy endings - wake up slut

Is it 5 o’clock yet?

Eyes Wide Open.
Friday, March 23, 2012

Glass Pear – Eyes Wide Open

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Don’t you, don’t you let go
Tell me it’s not too late

Unfinished.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012

unfinished himym

ROBIN: I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn’t exist. It just… ended. And, no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened. Don and I will always be a loose end. We will always be—

TED: Unfinished. Gaudí, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. But that’s not usually how it goes. Most of the time it’s just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. It’s only once you’ve stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it’s always there. And until you finish it, it will always be…

29!
Thursday, March 8, 2012

new girl schmidt 29

Happy 29th birthday, Gus (that’s short for “Me gusta Jess!”). Enjoy your last year in your twenties! After this, it’s all darkness. Ha!

Waiting.
Sunday, March 4, 2012

beginners movie lion and giraffe

HAL: Well, let’s say that since you were little, you always dreamed of getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait but the lion doesn’t come. And along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe.
OLIVER: I’d wait for the lion.
HAL: That’s why I worry about you.

Charlotte Sometimes.
Monday, February 20, 2012

Charlotte Sometimes on The Voice! Waves & The Both Of Us got me through some shit with Il Postino years ago! So excited to see her on the show. Now I have a reason to watch besides Adam Levine’s beard (as if that wasn’t reason enough).

Charlotte Sometimes – Pilot

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And when I say that you should stay
Remember what I’m drinking’s cheap
And I’m a pilot and I am steering deep

Drinking Game.
Sunday, February 19, 2012

modern family drinking game

Ma’am.
Thursday, February 16, 2012

new girl - the landlord - dancing new girl - the landlord - dancing
new girl - the landlord - dancing new girl - the landlord - dancing

This is pretty much how my first day back at the gym went down.

Happy V-Day, Playa!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012

SCHMIDT: Every time you have sex with the same person, Jess, you die… just a little bit. It’s like a copy of a copy.
JESS: Lucky us, we get to go out looking for some straaange. Happy V-day, playa!
SCHMIDT: Holla!

Camera.
Saturday, February 11, 2012

Do the things I wanna do
Not the ones I’m supposed to
Why can’t I get close to the better side of me
When I was young

Young the Giant debuted some new songs last night at Soma and this was my favorite…

Prurient.
Friday, February 3, 2012

Crosses – Prurient

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I see you wanna taste
But don’t wanna wreck your life
I think you know the game
So go ahead and take a bite

Chino ♥

Bonjour le peen.
Friday, January 27, 2012

new girl text

Apparently, replying to tweets & pinterest comments isn’t talking! Ha. I love that when Skokie and I do talk, we speak in New Girl quotes.

Timing.
Monday, January 23, 2012

how i met your mother - the best man - chemistry and timing - robin sherbatsky

If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing. Timing. But timing’s a bitch.

Foreigners and Poor People.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011

the league ruxin hotmail

RUXIN: Because of that HR asshole, I have no computer access to league activities. So I’m using my old personal email address—
KEVIN: herdsman@earthlink.net?
RUXIN: No.
PETE: yaya@yahoo.com?
RUXIN: If you must know, it’s the_ruxtor18@hotmail.com.
PETE: I can’t tell what’s funnier—is it that you chose “the ruxtor,” or is it that you have an actual Hotmail account, the official email for foreigners and poor people?

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love Pete from The League. I knew I wasn’t the only one who judged others by their email provider!

Sure, I used to be YummyMAYANaze@hotmail.com. And maybe on AIM, too. And okay, before that I was GUMMYI3EAR@aol.com (yes, that “B” consists of a lowercase “i” and the number 3). I’m obvi still yummy and I still like gummybears, but you don’t see me bragging about it on my GeoCities website!

(I’m really dating myself here, aren’t I?)

Eternal Rest.
Saturday, December 10, 2011

church prayer candles

Greg Laswell – This Woman’s Work

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Give me these moments back
Give them back to me

Pick a font, baby.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011

happy endings - grinches be crazy - corn coupon

DAVE: You’re really going with the coupon books that no one wants again this year?
ALEX: People love my coupon books!
DAVE: Nibble your name into a cobb of corn? Who wants that?
ALEX: You know you want it. Pick a font, baby. Don’t be shy.
DAVE: I do not want that in Helvetica.

Alex from Happy Endings is my spirit animal.

Just like that.
Saturday, December 3, 2011

Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant.
But it’s very important that you do it.
I tend to agree with the first part.
Don’t postpone what you want.
Don’t leave anything misunderstood.
Make sure the people you care about know.
Make sure they know how you really feel.
Because just like that… it could end.

Follow.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011

incenses:

I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.

I really hope no one was following me invisibly tonight, because they would have seen me in bed watching Remember Me while sobbing uncontrollably, and then watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show while regretting everything I’ve ever eaten in life and trying to suck in that little pouch where I keep my extra cookies.

Nobody needs to see these things.

Breaking Dawn.
Sunday, November 27, 2011

breaking dawn wedding gif

Sleeping At Last – Turning Page

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I’ve waited a hundred years
But I’d wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

I don’t know if it’s the holidays, or my period, or the fact that I’m turning 30… but Jesus, I got emotional.

I may or may not have cried during this scene when I watched it for the first time at the theater on Friday. And again when I watched it on Saturday. And a third time while watching the bootleg I just downloaded today.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 24, 2011

new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar
new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar
Story of my life.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011

50/50 messy car trash

Party of one.
Thursday, November 17, 2011

happy endings - alex to-go food

There’s this Chinese hole-in-the-wall that I order food from whenever I’m feeling shitty (so like… every Wednesday), and they used to give me four sets of plastic silverware, because I clearly ordered enough food to share with three other people.

And then there was a period of about a week where I ordered takeout from them like three or four days in a row, and they started giving me just one set of utensils for all that food plus extra fortune cookies (to feed my pain, I’m sure). Actually, this was last week.

The problem is…
Wednesday, November 16, 2011

the problem is you're never all that far - ache in my heart

Feelings.
Thursday, November 3, 2011

bridesmaids - are you fucking kidding me?

I find that my feelings toward work this week are best expressed through animated gifs. In addition, I really picked the most inopportune time to lay off the booze.

The Other Guys.
Friday, October 21, 2011

the other guys

Some days, we only speak in movie quotes.

Boys.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011

mindy kaling - is everyone hanging out without me?

Why You Need A Man, Not A Boy | Mindy Kaling via Glamour

  Until I was 30, I dated only boys. I’ll tell you why: Men scared the sh*t out of me. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they’re thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before.

OK, maybe men aren’t exactly like this. But this is what I’ve cobbled together from the handful of men I know or know of, ranging from Heathcliff Huxtable to Theodore Roosevelt to my dad. The point: Men know what they want, and that is scary.

What I was used to was boys.

Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who “totally knows how to cut hair.” Boys can pack up their whole life and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have “gigs.” Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival.

Boys can talk for hours with you in a diner at three in the morning because they don’t have regular work hours. But they suck to date when you turn 30.

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss. (I don’t want that, but I can handle it. I’m a grown-up too.)

When I was 19, my co-worker Mike took one look at my 21-year-old boyfriend and told me that I needed to date a real man (Mike was 30 with tattoo sleeves on both arms—I’m pretty sure he was talking about himself). Fast forward 10 years, and I’m still not dating real men! Maybe I’ll consider upgrading when I turn 30… in 3 months. Yikes.
Let’s rewind.
Monday, October 17, 2011

goldspot - let's rewind - how i met your mother - asking you to stay the words are finally here

Goldspot – Rewind

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If it’s the beaches.
Saturday, October 15, 2011

the avett brothers - if it's the beaches - the gleam

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If I recall recleclec.
Monday, October 10, 2011

BRB dying.

Double Dipped.
Saturday, October 8, 2011

i'm double dipped in three shades of fuck - weeds

This was me after the recent layoffs at work these past few weeks.

Jesse said it was so quiet in the office yesterday that you could hear a mouse fart. My boss let go of half of our marketing team (including the two interns I wasted six months of my life training), and I’ve been given all of their marketing responsibilities. If I have to google how to do one more fucking Excel formula, I might have to cut a bitch. And since no one else is left, it might have to be Jesse. Or that farting mouse.

RIP Steve Jobs.
Thursday, October 6, 2011

steve jobs quote

Sent from my iPhone.

The Black Lung.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011

i think i'm getting the black lung, pop - zoolander

8:46 AM Jesse: woman
  go to the doctor
8:47 AM me: i’m pretty sure i either have
  a) bronchitis
  b) tb
  or c) the black lung, pop
  i’m hoping it’s c
8:49 AM Jesse: dammit derek youve been down there one day
8:50 AM me: this is totally why we’re friends
  Jesse: that and this
Restaurant Week.
Sunday, September 18, 2011

louis ck - the meal is over when i hate myself

This = me during SD Restaurant Week. And pretty much any of the other 51 weeks during the year.

I’ve only got the skanky ones left.
Friday, September 9, 2011

The Sweetest Thing - I've only got the skanky ones left. Tell me about it, dude.

8:48 AM Jesse: i need to do laundry in a bad way
8:49 AM me: are you wearing granny panties right now
…because i am
Edge of desire.
Thursday, September 8, 2011

john mayer - edge of desire - there i just said it i'm scared you'll forget about me

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