mayanrocks » 2008 » December
If.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008

if i had known it was the end would i have done any different

Queen Jack.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008

EO: just know mayan
EO: you are a GEM
EO: like so super rare
EO: that when that guy finds you
EO: he’ll feel like he struck gold
EO: it’s puzzling to me
EO: how he could fuck up a great thing
EO: you be you
EO: you’re fan-fuckin-tabulous… know that also
EO: like i dont know anyone else that plays poker… and when it’s their turn… instead of saying “call”… they say “queen-jack!”
EO: lol!
mayanrocks: oh hell no

Like a bullet to the heart.
Sunday, December 14, 2008

Do you know the most surprising thing about heartache? It doesn’t actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart, or a head-on car wreck, it should. When someone you’ve promised to cherish forever says, “I never loved you,” it should kill you instantly. You shouldn’t have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn’t know.

Rain.
Friday, December 12, 2008

rain

I gave his jacket back today. I thought about keeping it at first…. but how many times do we need to go through this before he realizes that this isn’t what he wants? That I’m not what he wants? I can’t fight for him anymore.

I remember the night he gave it to me. I was at his house watching movies with him and his family when it started to rain. I sat and watched him from the couch while he looked for a jacket for me to wear out. He walked me down to my car and was kissing me in the rain when he said, “I feel like we’re in a movie.” I started taking off his jacket to give it back to him, and he told me to keep it. Every time someone would ask me about the air force jacket in the backseat of my car, I smiled to myself remembering that night and what he said to me.

I just can’t look at it anymore.

Maybe we should be just friends.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ”Maybe we should be just friends” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

– Neil Gaiman

At the drive-in.
Sunday, December 7, 2008

drive-in

There are few things I love more than Sunday nights with him at the drive-in ♥

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