In elementary school, I was cast as the glow worm in “James & the Giant Peach” and had to wear a bright turquoise leotard in front of the entire school. My only line was “I’m trying,” and I had to pretend that light was shining out of my ass. Needless to say, it was the beginning and end of my acting career.
I once had a tiny cut in my neck that bled for 24 hours straight. I went to the hospital and the doctor gave me two shots in the neck before cauterizing it. The night before, Jay wanted to attempt a DIY cauterizing job with a barbecue skewer lit from the stove at Beejaye’s house, but I would rather risk bleeding to death than have Jay light me on fire.
I’ve had thirteen jobs in thirteen years. The longest I’ve been at a job is three years at my current graphic design position. The shortest was my month-long stint as a barista (all the coffee in Starbucks couldn’t keep me awake during my 5am shifts).
The only solo I sang during my show choir days was for “When You Believe” from “The Prince of Egypt” soundtrack. Over a decade has passed, but I’m pretty sure I remember my Hebrew solo bringing the entire audience to its knees.